The 12 tasks of Hanatarou
by Shekron Kaizar
Summary: Hanatarou vs the captains of Soul Society. Soifon and Hanatarou have to escape Hueco Mundo and... dun-dun-duuun each other!
1. The accident

**Alternate fic between the Bount filler and the introduction of the Vaizard and Arrancar. No pairing yet determined. Small amount of Unohana/Hanatarou and Isane/Hanatarou in this chapter. I apolagise if using the japanese words confuses you, but sometimes it just doesn't sound right with english, so bare with me.**

* * *

"U-unohana taicho!" smiled Hanatarou happily, placing the bags of goods in front of his superior. Quickly bowing several times, he zipped back to his respectful distance. "H-here are the items you requested from the real world. Various cosmetics and confectionary that were well recommended by Inoue-san and many magazines, Unohana taicho." And he bowed again.

While the quiet captain was greatly pleased at her presents (and while vice-captain Isane went green with envy) third-seat Yasochika Iemura boiled red in frustration. "What is the meaning of this?" he demanded angrily, stomping his feet. "Bribing your captain before your debriefing? This is outrageous! I cann-"

"Oh! This looks so expensive Hanatarou-kun." Thanked Unohana, rummaging through the bags like a kid at Christmas while completely ignoring Yasochika. "You shouldn't have spent so much on me."

"N-n-no, no! It's okay taicho." Blushed Hanatarou happily, bowing again to hide his face. "It really was no trouble for me. It is the least I can do for my… o-our captain."

"You are so kind Hanatarou-kun." Nodded Unohana, much to the chagrin of her other two subordinates. "You have fulfilled your mission well. You may have a small vacation now for your troubles."

"Hai! Thank you!" smiled Hanatarou joyfully.

"TAICHO!" whined Yasochika.

"Oh, would you also like a break too Yasochika-kun?" asked Unohana. "Hmm… Yes, you should take a good rest; too much work can be bad for you. You have been very stressed lately… in fact, you've been very stressed for many, many… _many_ years."

"Taicho…" sighed the third seat, composing himself as best he could. "I appreciate your concern… but I do NOT believe Yamada-san is really worthy of so much praise!" he pointed his finger at the young shinigami accusingly.

"But he got me chocolates too." Said Unohana, waving the delicacies as evidence. "That should be worth at least a long weekend."

"Isane-fukutaicho." Sighed Yasochika, turning to his other superior for aid. "Can you explain the problem here?"

"Of course third-seat Yasochika." Nodded Isane with a frown. "Taicho, despite the good things he has brought; Hanatarou-kun's actions are, nevertheless, unacceptable…" and Hanatarou cringed, preparing for a barrage.

Yasochika smiled. At least he could trust Isane to be more realistic about the seriousness of the situation. _'Here it comes!'_

"Hana-kun…" said Isane, looking at the boy sternly.

"Y-y-y-yes…? I-i-isane-san?" trembled Hanatarou. Yasochika smirked in slight sadistic delight…

"Wh… wh-where…?" and her voice suddenly went weaker and sadder "Where are the presents for… f-for me?" asked the heartbroken Isane. Her lip pouted and her eyes began to shimmer.

"Oh I-I-I'm so s-s-sorry Isane-san!" said Hanatarou, trying to calm her down. He hesitantly patted her back along with their taicho. "Next time I go to the real world I'll bring you gifts too! L-l-lots and lots of gifts Isane-san!" he sweated in panic. "P-p-please don't be so upset!"

'_Sh-sh-she's crazy! Crazy! They're ALL crazy!' whined Yasochika, deflating. 'Yamada forsakes most of his mission to work as a cashier, and he's getting PRAISE for a bunch of stupid material goods? He cannot swing his zanpukuto for his life, and his offensive kido is laughable!'_ and he clenched his fist while his dark sunglasses shined evilly. _'You better enjoy your little 'holiday' well Yamada, because when you get back, you will be up to your eye-balls with work! You little boot licking, litt-' _

"Umm… You're speaking out loud again Yasochika-san…" said Unohana.

"Gah! Sumimasen! Sumimasen!"

* * *

"Y-you know Yamada-san…" coughed Yasochika, later on in the week. "I really didn't mean anything when I said…"

"O-oh, it's okay Yasochika-san." Said Hanatarou, busy scrubbing the floors. "If I get most of the work done now while I'm on holiday, I won't have so much work built up from when I was on holiday, when I have to get back to work again. I see the wisdom in your decision third-seat Yasochika."

"Th… that's not quite what I meant…" said Yasochika, guilt-ridden, watching the seventh-seat-shinigami trolley the mountain of rubbish away. "Listen Hanatarou. Just go on your holiday, I'll spread the work around to the other squads."

"B-b-but I don't want to be a hassle to anyone!" said Hana (I'll say Hana from now on to save time and sanity) "It's okay! I don't mind working at all!"

"It's our captain's orders!" said Yasochika, prying the broom and iron from the shorter shinigami. "Now go and… and… and do whatever you do in your free time!"

"But I work in my free-time." Whined Hana, unable to keep a hold of his mop and bucket. "I want to do my share! I want to pull my weight!"

"Fine! Fine!" gave up Yasochika arms in the air, leaving the room. "Do as you please! It's _your_ free time that you're wasting anyway!"

Hanatarou watched is superior leave then went back to mopping up the floor. But as the silence got to him, he leant on his mop and sighed.

"I'm not useless!" he tried to remind himself, closing his eyes tight in concentration. "I'm helpful, I clean, I heal and I do lot's of good in Seireitei… I'm not useless! I'm not useless! I'm not!" But though he tried to keep the mantra in his mind, he couldn't ignore the faint cry he heard in the room.

His sorrowful eyes crept open and looked over to his dusty zanpukuto lying on a chair, many times forgotten, neglected and hardly used. "A-a-am I… am I useless… as a Shinigami?"

* * *

'_Heh-heh! Went shopping did you?' smirked an 11th squad thug. This caught the attention of other 11th squad bullies and they hounded at Hanatarou as he embarrassingly hurried to his Squad HQ with all the make-up, chocolates and other women's accessories for his captain. _

'_Haha! Just like those 4th squad weaklings!' laughed another. 'The men are women and the women are men'_

'_What? N-n-no! No! Th-these aren't for me!' said Hanatarou, frantically trying to run away from the bastards._

'_Ooh! Presents for your girlfriend eh? What kind of stupid woman would have anything to do with a worm like you?'_

'_I d-d-don't have a g-… I mean, I'm not… j-just leave me alone!' whined Hanatarou._

'_Useless, stuttering, piece of trash!' snapped a rather brutish shinigami, knocking over Hanatarou with a flick of his finger to his nose. 'Gwahaha! Just one small tap and you're down; just like an insect!'_

_Being the size of a bear and with fingers as thick as cans, it was actually no surprise that he was able to knock over the frail built shinigami. However, having the brain the size and consistency of a walnut, meant the brute had as much chance of being reasoned with as a can of beans._

_Though they wouldn't dare kill him, he wouldn't put it past them to bash him up quite a bit. Because they knew he was 4th, they also knew he could heal himself back for more bashing later; another reason why they enjoyed bullying this division exclusively._

'_Hey kid, just think this as a favor.' Said one thug. 'The quicker you get used to getting beaten up by us, the less you'll feel when you finally have to fight hollows like you're supposed to.' And he picked him up by his collar and prepared to use him as a volleyball._

'_Eh?' said a powerful voice from behind, and then everyone stopped dead in their tracks. All the 11th division men had the great urge to wet themselves. 'What are you doing with that 4th division weakling?'_

'_T-t-t…' began one of the men, but that's all he could say for his fear._

'_Z-z-zaraki…. K-k-kenp-p-pachi…' stuttered Hanatarou more completely. The man's distinct shadow darkened over them._

'_You know I don't mind you picking fights with other divisions…' said Kenpachi, making his subordinates slightly more hopeful and Hanatarou slightly more hopeless. 'But…' he added, still with a frown. 'But ONLY when you run the risk of dying in battle against a worthy opponent… otherwise, such fights are just a waste of your time and energy and a direct disgrace… to ME!'_

'_SUMIMASEN!' quickly bowed the thugs on the floor, leaving Hanatarou leaning against the wall. But this doesn't save them from two-hundred hours of community service… playing dolls with second seat Yachiru… 'Nooo-o-oooo…'_

_After the thugs are led away by the little pinked haired shinigami, Hanatarou, picked up his stuff and gave his thanks to Zaraki. 'Th-th-thankyou for your h-h-help c-captain Kenpachi.' He bowed low, still shivering from the deadly presence of the man. _

_Kenpachi took a side glance at the kid, bels tinkling, and snorted. 'Don't get me wrong, I only did this to save the dignity of my men.' He said coldly, making Hanatarou stutter silently. 'The fact is still that you really are a defenseless, pitiful, weakling not worthy of being within these walls…' and he turned his back on Hanatarou and began to walk away. 'Shinigami like you, who cannot fight… make me sick...'_

* * *

Hanatarou swung his zanpukuto, Hisagomaru, again, still not very intimidating but it was getting better and more controlled. _'I will not be useless… I'll show them that I can defend myself. I can be stronger, like Ichigo and Rukia-san!' _he practiced some small leaps with great success, increasing his adrenaline and heightening his spirits. _'I'm not pathetic! I will be worthy of my title, my place and my sword!' _and with what reitsu his little body could muster, he did a terrific slash that made the curtains sway. _'I am a shinigami!'_

It was then that Hanatarou regretted practicing his moves while indoors…

With his last swing, a large bag of trash by the window, fell out. Hanatarou yelped and dropped his sword in shock and hoped that nobody would be around to see the mess he caused…

He heard a small, but angry, shout from below…

Obviously the fates of untimely death and shocking coincidence were having a good time with the dice that day, for the person who was down below was none other than the first squad captain, Shigekuni Yamamoto-Genryūsai, head captain of the Gotei 13… who was now on his face with garbage on his head…

* * *

"_To make matters worse, Hanatarou-kun lost consciousness as he gazed out of the window and fell three stories onto the captain's back. It broke his fall, as well as two glass bottles of sake under the captain's stomach…"_ said Isane grimly, reading the report issued from Yamamoto after his wounds were healed. "Hanatarou-kun's trial is within the hour."

Unohana and Isane looked to the pale faced Hana-kun with deep concern. There he was, quivering in his chair and only responding with sharp, squealing noises as he inhaled. The whole of Seireitei was in commotion over the event, some pitying the poor 7th seat, while others felt the need to strongly punish his stupidity which almost ended with the very undignified death of their leader.

Even outside Seireitei, in Rukongai's many districts, word had passed around of a near fatal attack on one of the higher-ups. In fact, Kukaku Shiba, who delighted in trouble, was greatly interested in the rumor and decided to send Ganju off to investigate.

"Don't worry Hanatarou-kun." Said Unohana, patting his shoulder. "It was an accident, and I am very sure you meant no harm. I will do everything in my power to end this trouble."

"Eeee…" inhaled Hanatarou gratefully.

"Please try to calm down Yamada-kun." Sighed Isane, handing him some tea. "It's important that you should be able to speak properly in front of the captain's committee. Have faith in Unohana Taicho, she will get you out of this safely."

"E-eee…" Nodded Hanatarou, tea dripping everywhere as he shook. "Eeee…"

"Your welcome."

Unohana, seeing little improvement in his condition after some medication, decided to try more… _traditional_ means to calm him. Taking the cup away, she gave him a great big hug that even Matsumoto would admire. Hanatarou had his mouth open as if to scream, but was otherwise completely gob-smacked, one of his pupils dilating larger than the other. The second and third seats looked on with jaws dropped.

"Th-thankyou U-unohana t-t-taicho…" said Hanatarou gingerly after he regained coherent thought. "B-but I th-think I'm a-alright n-n-now. Y-you can st-stop hugging me n-now… p-p-please…" he squeaked the last plea as the blood began to block his head.

"You're starting to speak in squeaks again, I think I'll hold on for a few minutes longer at least." Said Unohana, rocking gently as he struggled not to pass out from the sweet sensation of being embraced.

"Well at least he'll die happy…" commented Yasochika on the side. He is swiftly elbowed by Isane. "Well, he will!"

* * *

Hanatarou was practically already dead by the time he reached the captain's hall, as Unohana insisted on holding his hand during the entire trek to 'calm' his nerves. To be honest, he enjoyed her care, but waiting outside the hall, all the lieutenants were lined up and eyed the pair curiously. He felt he would die of embarrassment before captain Yamamoto even saw him again.

Fortunately (or unfortunately) he made it to court in front of the ten remaining captains (Aizen, Gin and Toesen having betrayed Sould Society). Yamamoto was fine, his tough body and rietsu coated skin helped to deny any injuries, but even so, he did not expect to put up his defenses on the short walk between the bottle shop and his favorite park, or against a bag of garbage and a falling Shinigami.

"4th squad, 7th seat Yamada Hanatarou." Began Yamamoto. "You are accused of gross negligence leading to injury, as well as direct offence to a captain. How do you plead?"

"Eeee…" squeaked Hanatarou. "I-I mean I'm s-sorry!"

"That…" sighed Yamamoto, opening his eyes slightly. "Was not the answer to my question…" the air pulsed as he released his reitsu.

Suddenly, Hanatarou buckled and fell to his face as the captain's energy began to choke him. Most of the captains there looked on in pity for Hanatarou, with the exceptions of the sadistic Myuri Kurotsuchi who smiled, and then Byukuya, Kenpachi and Soifon who didn't really care.

Unohana looked on and also did nothing… but had her hand ever ready on her zanpukuto.

This, Hanatarou thought, was not a good start at all!

"S… s-u… sumima… sen…" gasped Hanatarou, barely audible to those around him.

"Enough Yamamoto-sama!" said Jushiro Ukitake finally. "Is this a torture session? If so, why did you need to call all of us here?" and Yamamoto released his rietsu from poor Hanatarou.

"I agree. This is a trial, not an execution." Nodded Shunsui Kyoraku, tipping his hat. "There is no need for such a harsh punishment."

"Yes! I have important things to do." Grumbled Myuri. "If you ARE going to kill him, do it already! I want to get back to my work!"

"No one will be killing anyone here…" said Unohana, looking to Myuri with her still calm eyes. "Not unless you have an issue with **me**… Kurotsuchi taicho?"

Myuri glared back menacingly, but let his frustration out with a hiss and a spit. He knew better than to mess with another captain, and he knew too little about Unohana's fighting style than what he would have liked.

"Enough bickering! There is a reason why I have gathered you here." Said Yamamoto finally. "My intention was not to kill, but simply to teach him a lesson to snivel less and give proper answers when asked by a superior! His real trial begins in 17 days." And all the captains looked to him in confusion.

"17 days? What's so special in 17 days time?" wondered Hitsugaya out loud. "17 isn't even a significant number, why not 20 or 15 or even a fortnight?"

"17 days… is 3… plus 5… plus 9..." Answered Yamamoto, adding to the confusion.

However, Byukuya, thinking it over silently, figured it out quickly. "3, 5 and 9 were the squads previously of Aizen, Gin and Toesen." And they all looked to Hanatarou suspiciously.

Just then, Ukitake had a brain wave and Yamamoto smiled under his beard. "Y-you don't mean… the 12 Trials?" he gasped, and all the other captains began to fidget.

"That is right." Said Yamamoto.

"The 12 trials for a 7th seat? It's unheard of! He won't survive the first task!"

"No one has issued the 12 tasks in over 2 millennia!" said Soifon. "And no one has ever been able to complete it!"

"I just thought it would be good to revive the old traditions." Said Yamamoto, watching Hanatarou quiver. "2 millennia is too long a time, we may forget all about it in 200 years or so. Also, the one on trial does not need to be executed by the tasks, incapacitated is enough. **Hanatarou must complete a competitive task against each of the Gotei 13, with the exception his own captain, in order to be proven innocent of his crimes. He will have a few days rest between each captain equal to the squad number of the next captain he is to face. As we are short 3 captains, the 2nd seats of those squads will fight together against Hanatarou in 17 days time.** I have already devised an itinerary."

"And then…" said Hitsugaya grimly. "When he has failed just one of the tasks, he will loose his powers as a Shinigami…"

'_I will no longer be…'_ thought Hanatarou, his heart quaking _'A Shinigami?'_ and without knowing it, a tear fell from his face.

"Yamamoto-taicho…" said Unohana, stepping out of line as to come between Hanatarou and the 1st captain. "I do not think this punishment is at all fitting to the crime. Is it really necessary for him to risk losing his power as a Shinigami; a punishment reserved for traitors? It was by accident that Hanatarou did you injury, and even that injury was not deep…"

"It was deep in my pride." Answered Yamamoto. "And it is not just this crime he is being punished for. I have looked through his file and have found him to be a most distressingly useless Shinigami, as well as rebellious and annoying. Is it not true that he has not killed a single hollow his entire 101 years? He knows little kido, cannot wield a zanpukuto and willingly aided Ichigo's party to invade the Tower of Purity against orders, no matter how good his intentions were found out to be. He is cowardly and has less pride in himself than a roll of used toilet paper! Such a person does not belong here with us, and this trial will make sure he never will again!"

"But Yamamoto taicho…"

"Enough! This captain's meeting is dismissed! You have 17 days Yamada Hanatarou! Prepare yourself!"

…


	2. Three days

**290**

**Alternate fic between the Bount filler and the introduction of the Vaizard and Arrancar. No pairing yet determined. Small amount of Unohana/Hanatarou and Isane/Hanatarou in this chapter.**

…

**Hanatarou must complete a competitive task against each of the Gotei 13, with the exception of his own captain, in order to be proven innocent of his crimes. He will have a few days rest between each captain equal to the squad number of the next captain he is to face. As we are short 3 captains, the 2nd seats of those squads will fight together against Hanatarou in 17 days time.**

* * *

"HEY! Jidanbou!" called up a gruff voice from below. 

Jidanbou, the giant gatekeeper, looked down after a big yawn with his gigantic mouth. Smacking together his thick lips he heaved his shoulders round "Who goes there?" he asked grumpily; he was enjoying a good snooze and hated to be interrupted. But today he had a special visitor "Oh, you're the younger brother of the Shiba clan, Ganju! How is Kuukaku-san?"

"As bitchy as ever." Laughed Ganju, on his boar. He was rugged and dusty after a long trip. "Actually, she heard there was a commotion with the shinigami, and she wanted me to report on it. Can you tell me anything and save me some time?"

"Eh? You haven't heard yet?" said Jidanbou, surprised. "The news spread pretty fast, probably faster than it took you to get here. I wouldn't be surprised if your sister already knows all about it."

"Gah! Don't say that!" whined Ganju, tiredly. "It would mean I rode here for nothing and onee-san will beat me up for being useless again!" and the mental image of his sister's foot in his face making him shudder.

"Sorry, but it's common knowledge around here now."

"So what _is_ the news?"

"The 12 Trials are being held in 17 days time!" said Ganju, somewhat excited. "Everyone is talking about it, it has been over 2000 years since the last trial. But I do not think it will be very entertaining this time around…"

"12 Trials?" asked Ganju.

"Oh, you are much too young to know about it, forgive me." Bowed Jidanbou and he explained, "The 12 Trials used to be an old ceremony used on the toughest of shinigami, usually the high seated officers and captains. It was replaced by swift execution because the trial's length gave time for a means of escape to be planned. This was probably part of the original plan by the creator of the law, so as to allow his personal friend's time to get away. The trials themselves, against 12 of the 13 captains, are so tough, only seated officers can even hope to get past the first test."

"So who is the officer or captain that is being trialed? Heh-heh!" he then chuckled. "I'd laugh so hard if it was that stuck-up Byukuya! That would make my day!"

"Hmm… let me think." Said Jidanbou, scratching his large forehead with the blunt side of his axe. "It was a shinigami from the 4th squad… err, 7th or 8th seat, a tiny fellow. Like I said, he won't make it past the first trial!"

"Tiny? 4th squad?" said Ganju, thinking. "That sounds sort of like Hana!"

"Hana? You mean, Hanatarou? Yes, that was his name." said Jidanbou with a laugh. "Hanatarou Yamada."

"Hana-chan?" laughed Ganju. "Ha! Impossible! There must be some mistake, what did he do?"

"It seems he attacked the first captain, Yamamoto."

"BWAHAHAHAA!" cackled Ganju. "Hana-chan? Attacking the most powerful shinigami captain? And SURVIVED? You have to be joking!"

"Well, no, I'm not…"

"A-a-a-and…" wheezed Ganju, still giggling. "He's going up against 12, that's T-W-E-L-V-E captains?"

"Well actually, because we have lost 3 captains, his first trial will be against three lieutenants at the same time!"

"3 lieutenants! At ONCE? GWAHAHA!" rolled Ganju, falling off his steed. The sheer thought of meek Hanatarou fighting off three lieutenants was just too absurd to keep a straight face. "This is priceless! Ha-ha-ha!" and he struggled back to his feet. "Ha-ha! Whee-hee-hee… ahem… You must have gotten the name confused Jidanbou-san! There is no way it can be Hanatarou Yamada."

"No, I do have the name right… in fact!" and he rummaged his shirt for a piece of paper, hardly a small note for him, but a medium sized poster for Ganju. "I kept a notice about it, signed by Yamamoto himself!"

"Really?" smirked Ganju, still very skeptical.

He read through the note and fainted…

* * *

At first, the verdict was kept as a secret, but due to a drunken ramble by a certain few lieutenants, the news soon spread of the '**12 tasks of Hanatarou'**, as it was popularly named. General Captain Yamamoto, though not directly, was labeled Mr. Meanie of the year. 

The first three tasks would be combined, a 3 on 1 fight, as to better equal a challenge from a captain level shinigami. The other tasks were kept secret, only to be revealed after each preceding task was completed, but Yamamoto had already written out the trials and had done so with five witnesses, so there was no fear of him changing it… not that he thought Hanatarou would be able to complete the one task anyway.

2nd seats Kira, of 3rd squad, and Hisagi of the 9th, didn't take well to their upcoming task. If it was a stronger opponent or a more serious criminal offence that was committed, they would have felt more at ease, but to fight someone like the quiet and appeasing Hanatarou, a 7th seat, over a clumsy mishap, was uncomfortable to think about. They kept a low profile, especially after they and Matsumoto accidentally made the trial public knowledge.

Momo Hinamori was still too incapacitated from the Aizen incident to even consider stepping out of her bed, so the squad's not too well known 3rd seat would take her position in the trial. This was news Rikichi thought would be able to cheer up his friend, as this would give him a slightly better chance at winning, but it was still a heck of a dilemma for our small timid friend…

* * *

It was 3 days after the announcement, 14 days left to prepare…

* * *

"Hana-san! Please stop doing that!" said Rikichi (better known as Renji's stalker), overcome with anxiety for his friend. "You need to practice your fighting skills!" 

In the corner of his meager room, Hanatarou sat down with his head against the wall, unable to think, unable to sleep, unable to talk and unable to train. He gave another deep sigh and wandered what kind of jobs an ex-shinigami could get into these days in Soul Society. As far as he was concerned, the fight was already over.

Just then, the door opened, much to Rikichi's relief. "Ah! Unohana-taicho! Isane-fukutaicho! You're finally back!"

"Yes we are." Said Unohana, gracefully entering with Isane behind her. They spoke just out of Hanatarou's earshot. "Thankyou for minding Hanatarou-kun for us. Has he eaten anything since we left?"

"Half a biscuit and a cup of tea." Said Rikichi with a heavy sigh. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault Rikichi-kun." Consoled Unohana "Only Hanatarou can decide whether or not to revive his hope. I am sure your company has helped him greatly, you may go back to your own squad duties now."

Rikichi bowed and made his way out, but after a glance back at Hanatarou, he held the sleeve of Unohana for a brief moment "Please… Unohana-taicho," he asked, "Can you do anything to help his spirits? R-renji once told me… that the will to live, protect and fight is half the battle. If he keeps this up, there will not be even the slightest chance he can pass the tests! You must help him! You have to strengthen him up if he is to have any chance at all! Is there a way… any way that you can get him to pass the trials?"

The captain looked to Rikichi thoughtfully, and smiled, holding his hand to make a promise of it. The little shinigami shuffled his feet and blushed "We would not have returned otherwise." Answered Unohana. "You are a great friend Rikichi-san, I am glad Hanatarou-kun is so fortunate… In fact, I think you can still help, if you have nothing else to do?"

"K-k-kuchiki-taicho has given me some leave a-actually." Said Rikichi, once his mind settled again. They both turn as they overhear Isane trying to get a response from Hana.

"Yamada-san. Please, have something to eat, you look starved!" Isane said carefully, gently squeezing his shoulders.

Hanatarou, though still polite, shook his head dismally. He softly panned away her hand and she conceded and let him be. "I-I'm not hungry… s-sorry…" He looked slightly to his side to see if he could hide away and mope silently alone again, but working himself in a corner had done exactly that, and he had no way to avoid his friends.

"Hana-kun…" Isane sighed.

Unohana walked over behind him. "I'm sorry it has to come to this, but… 7th seat Yamada Hanatarou," she said seriously. "As your captain, I order you to prepare for the trials."

At first, Hana didn't answer.

"Yamada Hanatarou, did you hear me?" repeated Unohana. "We will not give up on you, no matter how hard we must work!"

Still no answer.

"Yamada! Your friends are here to help you! Don't you understand? We are here; talk to us!"

Then Hana replied in his tired voice. "Unohana taicho…" he said, bowing his head lower. "If only… only if I was stronger… this wouldn't have… have happened…"

As his speech became more broken, Unohana gently turned him around, with Hana unable to gather enough will to resist, to see he was crying terribly. "H-hana-kun…?"

"If I was only stronger!" cried Hana, his face contorting with his grief. Each time he tried to stop crying, more tears and more shame would overflow. "I-if I could only defend myself, I wouldn't have gotten into this mess! I want to be strong! Then I-I wouldn't be such a burden to you! I'm so sorry I got into this mess! I'm sorry to be such a p-…"

SLAP

Unohana looked up in shock at Isane, who had just struck Hanatarou on the face, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I-Isane-san?" and Hana also looked up to his much taller officer in surprise. "Why did you just…?"

"I-I apologize U-unohana-taicho…" said Isane, trembling. "B-but I had to do it."

"I-Isane… f-fukutaicho…?" trembled Hana.

"I'm sorry Hanatarou… b-but…" said Isane, sniffling. "You made me cry… and I don't like it when people are so sad and so unhappy, th-that_ I_ have to cry as well… s-so please stop crying… please… Hanatarou-san…" and she did a squeak as she began to water and choke again.

"Isane-san!" squeaked Hana in return, feeling even worse that he made her feel that way. "I'm so sorry I…"

SLAP

Isane and Hana then turned to the new culprit, Rikichi, who had also weakened at the eyes. "D-damn you Hana-san! How am I meant to face Renji-sama like this?" he cried, just as bad as Isane. "I'm from the 6th squad, under the command of Kuchiki Byukuya, the most emotionally fortified man in both worlds, and I'm crying! I'm not meant to cry damn you!" and he wiped his face with his sleeve.

(Emotional three way…)

Hanatarou- "R-rikichi-san!"

Rikichi- "Isane-san!"

Isane- "Hanatarou-kun!"

Hanatarou- "Isane-s-san!"

Rikichi- "Hana-san!"

Together- "WAAAAHHH!"

The three then mooshed into a teary group hug.

"I'll train!" yelped Hana, between his friends' crushing affection. "I'll train hard! I promise I'll do my best to win! I promise!" and they cried and hugged some more.

Not joining the love and standing by the open door, Unohana left to leave the rest to Isane. Looking back at the three, she smiled, but only ever so slightly _'Train well… Hanatarou-kun…' _she wished him. _'May you find what you seek…'_

Just remembering about his taicho, the shinigami at the center of it all, looked up but only to see she had already gone. Isane and Rikichi were too busy still crying over him to notice. He wondered, in puzzlement, why she had left so soon

'_Unohana… taicho…?'_

* * *

"You can come out now…" said Unohana as she walked. "Shunsui-taicho…" 

"Yare-yare." Nodded Shunsui, popping up from behind the wall with a tip of his hat. "As sharp as ever Unohana-san."

"One must be sharp in these times." Agreed Unohana, continuing her walk. "Did You learn anything from your spying?"

"Spying?" frowned Shunsui. "Spying is for enemies. _I_ was peeking over the wall… Hey, wait up!" and he used a flash step to catch up to her. "Where are you going now, eh? I thought you'd stay there and oversee them and their training? You missed out on their hug." He added.

"Isane is more than capable of training Hanatarou-kun to lieutenant level. I have complete faith in her." She replied. "But right now I have captain matters to attend to. Excuse me…"

Shunsui stopped following, but gave her a few more words… "You spoke to old-yama (General Yamamoto) for two days… How did it go?"

Unohana stopped to answer. "Nothing…" she said sadly. "He would not budge."

"Was there something else…?"

"What do you mean by _'something else' _Shunsui-taicho?"

"I mean…" said Shunsui with his _'a lot wiser than I look'_ stare. "Was there something _else_, you talked to him about?"

Unohana looked back to him for a short while, before turning back to her own way. "You have been investigating for three days now, Shunsui, on Hanatarou's background, missions and abilities. You have also talked to Yamamoto often these past days after I had left…" she said, surprising him a little. "I'm sure you will find out… eventually…"

Shunsui watched her leave and walked towards the court. "Rest easy Unohana, Hanatarou has many friends now… I think I'll go speak with old-yama again…"

* * *

"Maybe just a bit longer." Said Isane, scanning the field. "I want Unohana-taicho to help." 

"I-I think she would want us to, um… continue without her." Said Hanatarou standing beside Rikichi. "I'm sure sh-she has other things to do."

"But she spent ages on this schedule!" said Isane. "And hours and hours trying to get Commander General Yamamoto to pardon you, even when he started getting angry, she stayed her ground!"

"Sh-sh-she did…?" said Hanatarou, feeling awkward at how much trouble his captain was going through to save him. "She d-did that… for _me_?"

Rikichi looked at Hanatarou and gasped. "You mean… _you_ and _Unohana_-taicho are…?"

"Uh?" he looked at Rikichi, and when he realized what he was implying he burned red and waved his arms. "W-w-w-w-wait! W-wait! I-I n-never… I mean I w-w-w-ouldn't, c-couldn't ever…! That's just_ impossible_!" he said finally in frustration.

"OMG! Your blushing! It's TRUE!" gasped Rikichi again, but absolutely stinking of fresh sarcasm. "Should I call you Retsu Hanatarou from now on?"

"R-RIKICHI-SAN!" squeaked Hana in his loudest squeak. "D-d-don't joke about that kind of thing!"

"A-anyway…" smiled Isane, the mere thought of her captain fraternizing with little Hana making her laugh at the absurdity. "Hana-kun is right, we need to start immediately." And Rikichi and Hana stood to attention. "First two hours will be sword spar, then next will be racing, some more sparring and then talking to your zampukuto."

"Hai!" said Rikichi and Hana, and they jumped/tripped to their starting positions for their sparring match. Both friends concentrated hard, wondering just how well they would fare against each other.

"And remember Rikichi!" said Isane. "For Hanatarou-kun's sake, please… do not hold back. You were chosen first because you have a closer power level to Hanatarou-kun."

"I won't hold back Isane-fukutaicho." Nodded Rikichi, and then he looked back to Hana. "Remember that while we fight, Hana-san, and also remember that Isane will be your next opponent… I don't want you to fight her until you can beat me easily, otherwise training with her will just be a waste of your time."

"H-hai!" agreed Hanatarou. He drew Hisagomaru and took stance, while Rikichi had his hand on his hilt, ready to attack him with a special drawing of his sword.

Isane looked at both of them and held her breath… raised her arm… and threw it down. "FIGHT!"

* * *

"I'll hit you with my cane if you come in again…" warned Yamamoto, sensing the distinguishable, annoying reiatsu of Shunsui at the door. 

"That's if you can hit me old man." Replied Shunsui outside. He calmly sat down to avoid the walking stick that thrust through the iron doors with a stupendous crash. "Missed."

With a grunt, the walking stick was pulled back and the old man peeped out at Shunsui, who did his best 'innocent Bambi' face. With a scowl and a sigh, the Commander General opened the door. "Come in then… but I repeat again; _I will not pardon Yamada_."

"Yes, that bit has always gotten to me." Said Shunsui, sitting just inside the door incase he needed a quick escape. "I mean, why bother with the 12 trials if you could just banish him straightforward? It would raise less questions, be more quiet, quick and easy. Unless…" and he smiled. "Unless it would be_ too_ easy… too easily _overlooked _and not noticed. Unless, you wanted everyone to _know _about it… After three days of investigating, that is my final conclusion!"

Yamamoto looked annoyed, but as his moustache lifted, he smiled. "Very good… you're right." He chuckled. "I expect nothing less from your badgering."

"I was intrigued, and I was also bored." Shrugged Shunsui. "But it is good to know from you, yourself, that I was more or less right… So… all this was just an example?"

"Yes." Said Yamamoto. "I do not intend, and have _never_ intended to remove the powers from Hanatarou Yamada. This was a warning for him to pick up his act and train harder, to stop being the complacent servant of others and finally become a worthy shinigami… which is what we need in these times…"

"So… this is also to do with Aizen then?"

"Indeed, we all need to gather our wits and become stronger." Said the old man, starring out the window over Seireitei. "Every shinigami in these walls must be able to fight for themselves and stand tall in the face of such foes as Aizen and his hollows. Hanatarou might even be fortunate to have been chosen first."

"Cruel to be kind and kind to be cruel?"

"Something like that." He agreed. "Unohana has been pleading for hours and I already know of all of Hanatarou's good points. I know he does have an interesting zampukuto and a fine medical capacity. Indeed, he is very valuable to the 4th squad, and as such, important to the Gotei13. His position with us is secure; Hanatarou has little to fear."

"What about the first challenge and the fight with the two lieutenants and 3rd seat? Does he need to worry about that?"

"I have spoken with them, and though they will not go easy, they will not kill him. Hanatarou will get a warning and continue with his duties, hopefully, wiser and stronger."

"Learning the hard way is it?"

"Learning is often hard."

"And what if he actually gets past the first test?"

"Well I will loose my bet with you for starters…" said Yamamoto, making Shunsui laugh. "But I will also be pleasantly surprised…"

"Pleasantly?"

"Well… horrifically shocked would be more precise, but I would also be very glad that he took the time and effort to become so skilled. Though passing the first test, I believe, is absurd to expect from a 7th seat."

"Well suppose he does…" hypothesized Shunsui. "What happens if he completes all the tasks?"

"The next tasks are even more strenuous than facing 3 lieutenants, and the last two are challenges that even captains would find immensely difficult, and indeed for some… impossible."

"The last trial being with you, is it not?" guessed Shunsui.

"It's supposed to be confidential, but you're right." Said Yamamoto. "So no matter how hard he tries over the next few weeks, he will never succeed in winning. It would be a matter of several centuries, perhaps a millennia or two, before he can match my strength. But even failing after a few tasks completed, he would be quite a hero for the others, another role model for others to aspire, and a greater aid in the battles to come."

"But you highly doubt that."

"I know for a fact it is impossible for him to defeat the 3rd seat, let alone Kira or Hisagi on their own. Even if he receives training from a captain. He is too weak and killing is not part of his nature, so he has no will to win."

Shunsui got up and sighed. "I must admit, it is a very shrewd way of dealing punishment Yama-sama. But you could be a little more merciful on Hanatarou; he's scared witless."

"Shinigami should not fear death." Stated Yamamoto.

"It's not death he fears." Said Shunsui, taking his leave. Yamamoto opened his eyes. "It's being a disgrace to his friends."

* * *

**With only a fortnight left, can Hanatarou gather enough strength to complete the first trial, or was this adventure doomed to a quick finish from the very begginning? Who else can still help Hanatarou?**

* * *

**PS: I feed on reviews, please feed me!**


	3. Five Days

**290**

**Alternate fic between the Bount filler and the introduction of the Vaizard and Arrancar. No pairing yet determined. Small bit of Hana/Isane this chapter.**

…

**There are some hints to later chapters in the author's notes and Review responses, so please read them.**

…

Training...

It was night.

The freezing air nipped viciously at his exposed neck and arms, but still, Hanatarou was as steady as a rock. Rikichi stood several feet in front of him, breathing a little heavier than his friend, the vapor of their breath chuffing little wisps of cloud to the clear dark sky. They gave each other a nod and lunged again, the sound of their swords echoing in the cavern of the training grounds.

It was night of the 5th day since the order, the 2nd day of training with 12 days to go before the first trial…

Rikichi had always been slightly taller than his friend, but it wasn't enough to give him any sizeable advantage. The skill he had once surpassed Hanatarou with had also become obsolete, and even to his disadvantage, because while he still had the same skill he had 3 days ago, Hanatarou had more than doubled his speed and strength, and it was still rising…

Starting at such a low level of skill to begin with, the sudden burst of exercise had quickly raised Hana's stats, much like the first few minutes of an online RPG. But Rikichi was still a formidable opponent for Hana. Despite the hours of meditation, sword talking and exercises, the seventh seat had yet to beat him, and this was dire, for he still needed to spar against Kotetsu fukutaicho to fight at a lieutenant level, and even that might not be enough to face three opponents of the same skill.

Isane knew this, and she was growing increasingly anxious…

Hanatarou had now gotten used to Rikichi's movements and could counter so easily that it frightened them both; but there were two things greatly to Rikichi's advantage. One was that Hanatarou wasn't a fighter, but a healer by nature. The will to cut was not in him, and he would hesitate and attack half-heartedly. Secondly, and more crucially, was Hanatarou's zampukuto, Hisagomaru; which healed anything it cut.

Though from the 4th squad, Hanatarou was still a seated officer, something that Rikichi almost foolishly forgotten. As such, he had the potential to overpower any unseated shinigami; however dormant/comatose his spirit of battle was. Lacking the ability to harm his opponent until Hisagomaru's gauge was full (And then lacking any sword ability thereafter) Hana had to resort to hakuda, hand-to-hand combat, while at the same time using his sword to counter other sword attacks.

And through much trial and error, more error… and then more error, Hana had surpassed expectations, and had now surpassed his friend. In fact, he would have started training against Isane but for one thing…

"GAH!" coughed Rikichi as Hanatarou's hilt struck his chest. "GAHCK!" he coughed again, this time with some blood, as Hanatarou's quick palm ploughed into his stomach. With that, he was left wide open for Hanatarou's finishing move. Rikichi's breath was pushed out of him and he stumbled in pain, and before he could regain his footing, Hanatarou, with a move so quick and skilled… had healed him back as good as new. (Sparkle and shine effect)

"Argh! BAKA-HANATAROU-SAN! You did it again!" and Rikichi slapped him over the head. "Look at what you did! I'm perfectly healthy!"

"Ah! Sumimasen! Sumimasen!" Squeaked Hana, losing all battle composure and cowering like a girl to the sissy hits. It was the fourth time he had healed him that hour. "Ow! Ow! Ow!"

"Yamada-san..." sighed Isane, "You have to stop healing your opponent before the final blow! If you do that in a real battle you are guaranteed to lose… and very humiliatingly!"

"S-sumimasen Kotetsu fukutaicho, b-b-but this is different!" complained Hana, poking his fingers together through his surgical gloves. "It's like I told you again and again before! Against hollows and other things that want to harm people and Soul Society, I would never heal them back, b-but I am fighting other shinigami! Not hollow or ryoka; they are my comrades… I don't want to hurt Rikichi-san, or you Kotetsu-san… I… I cannot harm other shinigami, I don't want to! Kira-san and Ogidou-san are also my comrades and superiors; I don't want to hurt them either. I cannot fight in the trial!"

Rikichi and Isane exchanged worried looks.

"But Yamada-kun, if you don't fight you will lose your shinigami powers and you'll be sent out of Seireitei!" said Isane. "Do you really want that to happen?"

"W-well… n-no…" he said hesitantly.

"You have to try then!" said Rikichi.

"B-but it's so hard! I c-…"

"Fighting is _never_ easy Hanatarou-kun." Said Isane. "Especially for someone of the 4th squad. We are naturally gifted healers, and you are no exception. But it doesn't mean it is impossible. And Kira-san and Ogidou-san will also find it hard, but they will still fight you, even if they don't want to hurt you."

"R-really?"

"You are no enemy of theirs, in fact you saved their friend, Abarai-kun. You also helped save Kuchiki Rukia and also to expose Aizen, Gin and Toesen as traitors." Continued Isane, unaware that she greatly admired her subordinate. "You are humble, selfless and a powerful healer. You are the nicest Shinigami I know!"

"I even heard you even attempted to hold off Kuchiki Taicho all on your own to give time for your friends to escape." Said Rikichi, who was also a Hanatarou fan at heart. "That's something only people of Renji-san's bravery can do! You're super brave when you want to be!"

"Seireitei would be worse off without you!"

"You're powers are your right to own! You DESERVE them!"

"You are great Hanatarou-kun."

"You are a great shinigami!"

Hanatarou didn't know how to respond to this, apart from a blatant stare of disbelief plastered on his face. But he did feel a bit of a temperature rise as his fukutaicho leant over to hold his shoulder and re-assure him.

"Yamada-kun," she said, looking hard to try and find some self-confidence in the young man; the one thing that always held him down. "Don't you know who you are?"

…

_Several years before…_

…

"_Yamada Hanatarou of the 18__th__ relief squad." Called out Unohana at the 4__th__ squad HQ. Isane and 3__rd__ seat Yasochika Iemura also stood by._

"_H-hai." Nodded a slightly younger and shorter Hanatarou._

"_Upon controlling your shikai to a great degree, you are now deemed worthy of becoming a seated officer." Read Iemura from a scroll. "Though your fighting prowess is questionable..." he added under his breath._

"_Also with excellent healing records and many recommendations, you have been chosen for immediate promotion." Continued Isane. "The seventh seat is currently open."_

"_Yamada Hanatarou, formerly of the 18__th__ relief squad," said Unohana with a smile. "You are now promoted to officer, 7__th__ seat, leader of the 14__th__ emergency relief squad. You may begin your duties as soon as you are ready."_

"_But don't take too long." Sided Iemura quickly._

_Hanatarou could only answer with a squeak of joy before he passed out._

_While Iemura shook his head in embarrassment, Unohana turned to Isane. "Kotetsu-san…"_

"_Y-yes Unohana-taicho?" replied Isane, still concerned that the 7__th__ seat was unconscious on the floor._

"_This boy is very special…" said Unohana, "But also, very vulnerable." She said with a more somber tone. "While I am not able to, please… take care of him."_

"_H-hai." Nodded Isane, though hesitantly. She wondered why her captain would take so much concern over such a shinigami as Hanatarou Yamada. He wasn't especially powerful, gifted or of high birth. He was the nobody of nobodies in the shinigami world. 'Why should he get better treatment…' she thought to herself. 'Than me…?'_

…

"_Kotetsu-fukutaicho, your tea is ready." Said Hana, serving her a cup along with some biscuits. _

"_Thank you very much Yamada-kun." Smiled Isane, sipping the tea with a sigh of relief. Having Hanatarou's help around was a blessing she could not put a price on. The enmity she once had for him was washed completely from her memory. She noticed his lagging pace and offered him a breather "Do you want to take a break now too?"_

"_Oh? O-oh no!" said Hana, shaking his head. "I still have so much to do! There are the papers for 10__th__ division t fill out, the toilets of 11__th__ division to clean, the vending machines in the chamber of 46…" then he tripped over a piece of paper and fell flat on his face._

"_A-are you okay?"_

"_Y… yes…" he said, picking himself up. "I'm completely fine!" though he looked like he hadn't slept for a week. "I'm really much too busy to-…"_

"_You do so much Yamada-kun!" said Isane, interrupting him. "Don't overdo it. Please take some time to rest between duties."_

"_W-well I don't want to be a b-burden to anyone by spending time." He scratched his head. "I really don't mind, I can work all day and night, especially with my special pills!" and he tied up Isane's rubbish bags and headed out. "S-see you soon Kotetsu-fukutaicho." But just before he got to the door, Isane walked over and tugged his sleeve, stopping him. "K-kotetsu-fukutaicho…?"_

"_7__th__ seat Yamada Hanatarou!" she said strictly._

"_H-hai?" answered Hana, standing to attention._

"_Fix yourself some tea and snacks and take a break with me."_

"_Wh-wh…? I m-mean b-b-butt what about my d-duties…?" _

"_This is an order from your fukutaicho, and as such, overrides your normal duties." Said Isane, taking away his broom and pushing him to a chair. "In fact, have this tea and biscuits and I'll fix some more for myself as well as some more snacks."_

"_B-b-b-b-but-but-but…!"_

"_Oh…" said Isane… and Kotetsu Isane had said 'oh' many times before. 'Oh' when she was singled out in class for being so tall, 'Oh' when guys apologized they couldn't/wouldn't date her, and 'Oh' when her old crush of five years finally realized she wasn't a man. "Don't you want to have tea with me?" though she hardly blamed him for not wanting to be around such a masculine and freakishly tall woman._

"_N-n-no, it's not that." Said Hana, noticing her expression of sadness. "I am honored to have tea with you… b-but I… I…"_

"_You what, Yamada-kun?"_

"_I… I used up the rest of the biscuits serving the other seats…" he said timidly, shrinking as he felt ashamed and embarrassed. "S-sorry…"_

_To that, the only thing Isane could do… was smile…_

_Maybe it was his shy face, his sweet innocence, or his cute insecurity, but Isane became really attached to Yamada Hanatarou. Perhaps it was the awkwardness and low self esteem that she knew all too well, that made her want to care for him. _

…

Back to the present…

…

**ARMY OF FISH PASTE!**

**FISH PASTE INVASION!**

**RUN ISANE! RUN!**

…

"FISH PASTE!" screamed Isane, waking up in a cold sweat. "AAAAAAHHHHHH!"

"Uhh… Good morning to you too Kotetsu-fukutaicho?" Said Rikichi, busy frying food. "Breakfast is ready."

"Oh… Uh… Um… Good morning." Isane rubbed her eyes and looked around their small campsite where they trained. She then noticed someone was missing. "Wh-where is Hana-kun?" she asked.

Rikichi pointed over to the woods and then Isane became aware of a meek grunting sort of sound, along with a gentle thudding and rustling of trees. "He's been training for about an hour now, he didn't even wake me up." Said Rikichi, looking to the woods in deep thought. "I think what we said to him really… really _changed_ him…"

Isane concentrated "This level of reiatsu…" and they watch a tree fall.

"He's doubled it again…" nodded Rikichi.

"This is the level of a 4th seat at the very least." Said Isane. "In fact, Hana-kun could challenge 3rd seat Yasochika in our division."

"He… he has become too strong for me…" said Rikichi, looking down. "Hasn't he?"

"Yes, he has." Agreed Isane. "Training against you will not be enough to continue his growth. He has to face _me_ now."

"Then… then I should get back to my own squad." Said Rikichi, and he quickly served Isane's breakfast before reaching over for his already packed belongings.

"R-rikichi-san?"

"I'm not strong enough to be of any more help." He said, sorely. "So I'm going to train on my own to become even stronger, like Renji-san and to increase my skills and find my true potential like Hana-san." and he looked back to Isane. "So I can not only look to him as my friend… but as my equal, so I may fight beside him as an equal. That way I can help him again."

…

Hanatarou was out and about, frolicking in the grassy meadows, hugging trees... and then pushing them over.

Though he couldn't knock them down with his head like Ichigo, a flick of his finger like Kenpachi or with his reiatsu like Byukaya, but with a bit of sweat and grit he could snap them down… He was completely pooped after the third tree.

"_Seireitei would be worse off without you!"_

"_You're powers are your right to own! You DESERVE them!"_

"_You are great Hanatarou-kun."_

"_You are a great shinigami!"_

"_Yamada-kun… Don't you know who you are?"_

Those words filtered through Hanatarou's mind as he trained, and it boosted his morale, drawing out the confidence in himself, and the powers that it granted him.

Sitting by his last conquest, he opened his water bottle and drank thirstily, then looked over to the plate of fried eggs and bacon Isane put down beside him. "Thank you Kotetsu fukutaicho…" he said, a bit out of breathe, but with a strength she had never before seen with Hanatarou.

"You're welcome Yamada-kun." She nodded, sitting beside him. The way he sat, ate, spoke and even breathed were all different. Though still polite, he was much less pitiful and weedy. _'He's… changed so much…'_

Swallowing his first bite, Hanatarou looked back to Isane who had unwittingly begun to stare a him. "Uh… K-kotetsu-san? Is there something on my face?"

"Eh? Oh! No, no! S-sorry." She said in an almost Hanatarou manner. "It was just that you're really tired out… I was concerned."

"Oh, thank you." Said Hanatarou awkwardly. He finished his breakfast silently and put the plate aside. "Rikichi-san left didn't he, back to Seireitei…? I felt his reiatsu fade off."

"Yes, he did." Said Isane. "He has his own tasks to do now Hanatarou-kun. And now you must spar with me."

"I… I am ready?" asked Hanatarou. "But I thought…?"

"That you hadn't succeeded in beating him? We will work on your will to win as we fight, but you have become a lot stronger, too strong to train against Rikichi-san." Said Isane, standing up "You have done very well Hanatarou-kun." And she drew her zampukuto, Itegumo. "Now it is my turn to train you."

Hanatarou got up and drew Hisagomaru. "Thank you… Isane-sempai." He gulped, his knees knocking together and his hands struggling to stay still and not shake. His timid and nervous nature resurfaced with the new challenge of facing his superiour.

She gave a bittersweet smile in return. _'Maybe he hasn't changed that much at all… He is still Hanatarou-kun… My Hanatarou…'_

…

Back in Seireitei...

"Unohana-taicho, you have a visitor." announced 3rd seat Iemura

"Let him in." replied Unohana, drinking her tea. Iemura opened the door and took his leave swiftly. In stepped Kuchiki Byukuya…

"Hello… Unohana-taicho." Said Byukuya in his normal monotone voice.

"Please, take a seat."

"Thank you…" He strode in and took a seat opposite her.

"What can I do for you, Kuchiki taicho?"

Byukuya was as direct as ever. "Have your subordinate forfeit the trials."

Unohana took another sip and placed her cup down with such a distinct force that it made Byukuya flinch. "And why… would I do that?"

"He has no chance of winning, it is best if he ends this now, himself." Said Byukuya, regretting he had sat down, as it made him feel incredibly vulnerable. "It would be wise, and also save us the indignity of initiating this pointless trial."

"For Yamada-kun, this is not pointless, and it is his decision, not mine that he should continue or surrender."

"If you are concerned for him, then you will do what is necessary." Said Byukuya.

"I _am_ concerned for him… And yet, I wonder why _you_ seem so concerned for him too."

"I am not." Said Byukuya.

"Perhaps it is because he helped save Rukia-san?"

Byukuya's frown increased by a millimeter "I will say it only one more time, I am not concerned about him." Said Byukuya. "It is merely coincidental that he helped the Ryoka save Kuchiki Rukia. My only reason and purpose is to ensure the dignity of Seireitei is upheld. I will not allow this eyesore to taint our traditions."

"You do not think he can win?"

"It is so unlikely I would say it is impossible."

"He has a chance of winning, and that is enough."

"A slim chance." Said Byukuya, and he closed his eyes for a bit. "I see… This is why you have been here these past few days. You chose this place so you could track the growth of his reiatsu with greater ease, didn't you?"

"I did." Nodded Unohana.

"Pointless…" Byukuya looked out the window. "He has more than tripled his power level, but he is still only half as strong as a lieutenant, and twenty times less than a captain before his shikai." He looked back to Unohana. "Even if he defeats the lieutenants, it only means he will have to face a captain next, and there he will fail, and perhaps even die."

"He might not fail."

"'Might' is not a certainty. After he defeats his first trial, he will then face captain level challenges; can he do this?" and he looked to Unohana's worried look and shook his head. _"_I tell you now, the more battles he wins, the deeper his troubles, for I have a feeling the tasks will be ordered in terms of difficulty. Forfeiting now would be a mercy on him."

"I will not force him to give up."

"Then you are letting him die, and the respect and dignity of our laws and traditions as well."

"He will keep his respect and dignity, just as you will in the trial."

"He doesn't have the will to even spar against his friends."

"I already have someone in mind to help him with that too."

"He is beyond help."

"That sort of attitude to others, is something..." said Unohana, closing her eyes gently. "_I hate_..." Unohana got up and Byukuya used shuunpo to barely move aside. A painting on the wall falls in half and a hair falls from Byukuya's head onto his nose. The 4th division captain calmly walked over and opened the door for him to exit "You may leave now… Kuchiki-taicho."

"I see you have no such pride for Soul Society." Said Byukuya, walking out.

"Soul Society only has pride if the Shinigami are proud to defend it." Said Unohana as he passed. "Yamada-kun is defending his right to defend Soul Society. If he gives up, he also gives up his pride for Soul Society, and so dishonors Soul Society."

"Both our logics have certain flaws." Said Byukuya. "But I am willing to sacrifice the pride of one insignificant Shinigami, for the pride of all others."

"That, Byukuya-taicho…" said Unohana, closing the door. "Is the most flawed thing you have said yet."

…

SHINIGAMI CUP GOLDEN

…

"You have to be kidding!" gawked Ichigo. "Hanatarou has to do all _that_?"

"Yes, I thought it was a prank at first too, so I didn't tell you guys about it." Said Urahara. The rest of the gang met inside his shop and sat around the table in disbelief. "But now it's been confirmed, I thought you might want to hear about it."

"Well, we have to go save him!" said Ichigo, immediately jumping to action. "We need to save Hanatarou!"

Rukia stood up quickly as well, so she could slap him over the head. "Fool! We should come up with a plan first! I can't just betray Soul Society now I have ony just gotten my name cleared!"

"We don't have the time! What's more important? Your name or Hanatarou's life?"

"The question should be; your _brain _or your big _mouth?_" and they growled angrily at each other as usual.

"Calm down! Calm down!" shushed Urahara. "Invading Soul Society so many times in one year is a bit rash! You were fortunate to have left so easily last time; it would be unwise to test their patience. In this scenario we can only aid Hanatarou within the guidelines of the trial. The fact that it isn't and execution gives us this other, more peaceful mode of rescue."

"You mean, help him to actually WIN?" said Ichigo, even more flustered. "Against Zaraki, Byukuya, Mayuri and all the rest? Have you even seen Hanatarou? He isn't exactly 'bankai' material!"

"He _is_ a seventh seat; so he has potential." Pointed Rukia. "You do not get a seat for nothing… Although I have never seen him fight…" she added quietly.

"Well, we'll never know unless we try!" smiled Urahara, holding up a Tenshintai (The dummy that Ichigo used to reach Bankai). "But I do have some more bad news…"

"What's that?" they all asked.

"Welllll…" Urahara scratched the back of his head and chuckled "Due to the wear and tear of the gate, it will take some time to fix. So… we'll miss the first ten trials!" and he did a big smile and fan wave to try and brighten the atmosphere.

Ichigo and Rukia fainted.

"Well, I better send a message to Kukaku." Sighed Yoruichi as the others tended to the fallen. "She loves to be disruptive with the shinigami. Maybe she can do something to help?"

…

**Author's Notes: **

**Gah! I feel disappointed in this chapter. The story is still barely moving, but at least you know that Hanatarou is progressing and what is happening in the living world. Lot more Isane/Hana than I originally planned as well. The next chapter or two will still be preparation, so please bear with me. After that, it starts to speed up, a challenge chapter, then a training chapter. **

**And yes, he does have another battle type trial as the second last task. The others are more with endurance and competition, even one for beach-volleyball! But I'll keep you guessing to who that one is with, and what the twist is with the game.**

…

**Review Responses**

**To ****Kokaku Kidotai Meitantei****: Thanks for the correction on Isane Kotetsu. There will be a lot of Isane/Hana, but mostly because of a rival love interest getting between them; a Hanatarou pairing that I think I have the honor of being first to post on fanfiction. Gwahaha! **

**The final pairing is still being determined though. Maybe I'll do a poll later on?**

**To jster1983: I think I will bring Momo in now that you mention it. I just thought of a good plot line to put in for it too. Thanks!**

**To ****Greenzaku****: Yes, I am very aware of that fact. ;)  
****(See his review for more info)**


	4. To Kukaku House

**Alternate fic between the Bount filler and the introduction of the Vaizard and Arrancar. No pairing yet determined. Small bit of Hana/Isane this chapter.**

…

**There are some hints to later chapters in the author's notes and Review responses, so please read them.**

…

Two days of training, meditation and sparring with his fukutaicho had so far come up with the same, consistent result… having his butt kicked.

No matter how hard he tried, or how long he spent chatting to Hisagomaru discussing tactics, he could not surpass Isane or break the power barrier of a 4th seat. He could barely block her swift powerful strikes. Not once did he ever get the advantage in any sort of combat, and his most brutal assault was likened to throwing cookies at a brick and expecting it to burst into flame.

Though his ability to dodge about and 'run like hell' had improved, there was little progress in his combat or strength, much to their dismay. And even with what little agility he gained, it would be of little use against the shuunpo (flash-steps) of his opponents. They soon would have to concede that Hanatarou had reached the limit of what he could gain in what little time was given; be it nothing short of four times his original strength.

But Isane was not ready to concede, not until Hanatarou found his will to fight; the key missing element to his progression, and possibly the only thing between victory and failure…

"You are a stupid shinigami Hanatarou! Stupid, stupid, stupid!" yelled Isane. The two of them confronted face to face, yelling insult after insult at each other, as best as 4th squad members could do. "You can't do anything right!"

"W-w-well your mean Koketsu-san!" stammered Hana, in his best angry expression he could pull. "A very mean, a-a-and cruel… uh… and a very bad-person!"

"SO?" Isane lifted him up by the front of his shirt. "At least I'm not a clumsy little, umm… st-stupid-head!"

"U-uh…" thought Hana, trying to come up with something with a bit more bite than 'bad-person', which was quite hard to do while he had been lifted a clear two feet off the ground. "And you're t-too… uh… t-tall!" He had stuttered out the first thing that came to mind… and it was a mistake.

Before his frightened eyes, Isane's face then crinkled like a tissue up a vacuum cleaner. Her eyes watered and her hands trembled as they gripped him. "I'm… too… t-tall?" and flashbacks of her 'elevated' childhood flew past her eyes.

The name-calling, the overhanging branches, broken unbreakable-plates, having to always sit in the back row. The horrible mental scarring of years of stature discrimination, the intolerance of tallness; ALL back to haunt her again! "GAHHH!" she wailed loudly. "I'M A FREE-EAA-EAAKK-kkk! AAHHGH!" and she dropped him and fell on her knees in tears.

"Kotetsu-san?" he spoke as he fell on his backside. "D-does that mean we have stopped the… uh, 'training'?"

"HANA-KUN THINKS I'M UGLY!" she cried, sniveling and blowing her nose on her sleeve. "I'm like a lumpy faced Giraaaaaffe! Waaaaaaaaaa!"

"Wh-WHAT? I-I-I never said that!" said Hana, panicking on the spot. "Koketsu-san, you're not _that_ ugly… (Isane looses breath for a moment from the shock) I m-m-m-mean! You're NOT ugly! You're NOT ugly! Oh dear…" he whined.

"Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

"Oh no! I'm so sorry! Please calm down Kotetsu-san! You're not ugly!"

"But I'm so TAAAAALLLL!" she bawled while Hana ran around like a headless chicken, totally unable to cope.

From behind the hill, Ganju dropped his head dismally. "They are really hopeless at this aren't they?" he sighed. He looked back to his companion. "This is certainly an emergency! Thank you for getting me a pass through the gate Unohana-taicho!"

"You saved me a trip to find you, Ganju-san." Said Unohana, calm as ever. "I think your 'talents' are just what Hanatarou-kun needs to win this fight. You have my complete faith."

"Aw! Now your making me blush!" laughed Ganju smugly at the praise he received. "Well, I think I've done enough watching, so I think I will make my entrance!" and he put his fingers in his mouth and whistled…

Turning his head to the sound, Hana looked up to the hill. Before he could say 'leaping bacon' Bonnie-chan (Ganju's Boar) leapt over the top of the hill, tossing Ganju in the air with a quick shovel of her tusks. "G-GANJU-SAN??"

"HANA! LOOKOUT BELOW! AAAHHHH!" yelled Ganju.

"AAAAAAAEEEEEEEEIIIII!"

Unable to alter his trajectory he landed right on top of the poor Yamada-san, followed by a belly flop from Bonnie-chan. "OW!"

After overcoming the initial shock of watching a large man and boar fall ontop of her comrade, Isane, quickly began excavating the bodies "H-hanatarou-kun! Are you alright?" she asked, hurling Bonnie and Ganju over her shoulder.

"I… feel… flat…" said Hanatarou, at the center of a boar shaped imprint in the grass.

"You better stay still for a while I make a diagnostic." Said Isane, fetching her medical gear. "Just incase you broke something or… GANJU!"

"What?" asked the youngest of the Shiba-clan, as he gently kicked Hanatarou back on his feet.

"Y-you don't just do that to someone after being flattened!" spluttered Isane. "AH! What are you doing now?"

"Punching him for flinching." Said Ganju casually.

"GAH! Leave him alone!" snapped Isane, pulling the sore Hana away into her arms like a baby. "You're meant to punch on the shoulder anyway for that sort of thing, not the stomach!"

"Ha! Those sort of punches aren't going to kill him!" said Ganju, shaking his head. "You really are underestimating Hana's strength. Do you think he's been doing all that training, just to fail after I and Bonnie-chan greet him with a hug?"

"A HUG? That wasn't a hug! That was a blatant aerial bombardment!" hissed Isane, shielding her Hana from the intruder. "And do you mind? We are training here! This area is off limits to others!"

"Not me!" smiled Ganju. "Things are going to be a lot different here now! So get ready Hana!" the courageous and fierce gleam in his eyes making Hanatarou feel like half cheering and half screaming. "I am your _new_ trainer!"

"WHAT?" yelled Isane.

"Wh-what?" yelped Hana.

"The time for laughs and fun is over now Yamada Hanatarou!" continued Ganju. "You are getting Spartan level SHIBA training now! The beating and yelling from my sister that made me what I am today! By the time I'm through, you will have the spirit of battle at your fingertips! So roll up your sleeves and give me your best manly, **'RAAAAHHHH'**!"

"Eeeeeeeee!" squeaked Hana, frightened.

"Are you insane?" asked Isane.

"We have work to do…" sighed Ganju. "A lot of work to do…"

…

"Matsumoto…" sighed Hitsugaya Toshiro. "For the very last time, I will NOT sign the pardon Hanatarou pact!"

"But taichooo!" cooed his voluptuous lieutenant. "This pact is from the Shinigami Women's Association! If you sign this, think of all the fangirls you'll gain for protecting poor Hana! Think of the subtle Yaoi you'll bring to the scene!"

"All the MORE reason not to sign it, BAKA!" snapped the irate Toshiro, chasing her from his side with a wave of his calligraphy brush. "Anyway, it's considered treason for any captain participating in an upcoming trial to help him. Do you want me to get into trouble?"

"Y-… No." said Matsumoto, flashing a bright smile.

"There was a hesitation..." noted Toshiro angrily. "And shouldn't you be doing work?"

"Oh! There's Unohana-taicho! I have to show her the list! Bye!" said Matsumoto in less than two seconds, and rushed out the door.

"MATSUMOTO!"

…

"Unohana-taicho!" rushed up Matsumoto to Unohana's side. "How is Hana-chan doing?"

"He is improving with great pace." Said Unohana. "And now the Shiba clan have also joined in to help him. Things are looking up." Unohana said this in her normal quiet tone, but something infinitesimally wrong caught Matsumoto's eye…

"Umm… are you okay Retsu-san?" asked Rangiku, looking carefully at her face.

"I'm fine Rangiku-san." Smiled Unohana "I feel very-"

"You're lying." Deadpanned Rangiku and a shadow of depression heaved itself on the captain. "Why aren't you training Hanatarou-san yourself? Isn't that what you want to do…? Unohana Taicho?"

"I…" said Unohana, her eyes saddened. "I have things to do… Thank you for the list." And she left.

"Retsu-san…?" contemplated Matsumoto. "Why are you avoiding Hanatarou-kun…" She sensed a presence and giggled silently, and then she turned around with an angry face. "This is all YOUR fault Taicho!"

"Wh-what?" stuttered Toshiro, standing up from his hiding place in a bush. "How did you know I was h-… I-I mean, what do you mean '_MY_ fault'?"

"You didn't sign the pact, so you upset Unohana-taicho! Now she hates you!"

"What? No! I-I'm not allowed to sign!" sweated Toshiro, who knew better than to mess with a woman all other captains didn't dare to cross. He began walking around in circles and tugging his hair. "Is she really mad at me? No! I-I didn't mean to… I-I-I…"

"You know," said Matsumoto thoughtfully. "I heard the last person who Retsu-chan hated died a swift and painless death, he didn't even notice until he was at heaven's gate. So if you think about it, it's not really too bad…"

"ACK! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?"

"Nothing that you can do…" said Rangiku slyly. "But if a certain _kind_ and _generous_ lieutenant was to speak in your place, then just maybe…?"

Toshiro stopped sobbing. He looked up to Matsumoto, to her cunning grin, and gave her an evil eye and threw his arms down in defeat. "Fine you pirate! Name your terms…" he sighed, folding his arms. He is bowled over by a bundle of paperwork.

…

With a deep breath, Ganju held up his mega-speaker to Hana's ear.** "WAKE UP!" **

Hanatarou wakes up with a scream "Eee! Training!" and he rushes to put on his robes.

"FOUR SECONDS OR YOU FAIL!"

For two seconds Hanatarou looked back and forth from his robes to the door, and in the other two seconds, jumps out to the street in his bunny pyjamas. With the 'Rocky' theme playing in the background, Ganju began his series of gymnastic torture as they raced a gauntlet around the small town some miles from Seireitei.

The trio had begun a trek back to Kukaku house via boar, with Isane tagging along to make sure Hanatarou wasn't killed before the actual trials began. Now they trained at a village they had camped at for the night. They had six days left to train, five if you deducted the time it would take to race back to Seireitei to make it to the battle; or else he would lose by default.

As it was, Hana was barely getting through one hour without at least two major healing sessions from Isane. From wrestling logs while on a boar going down a hill, to wrestling on a log with a boar going uphill, Ganju never ceased to amaze Isane on how insanely purposeless his methods were, matched only by how spectacularly he could make Hanatarou fail at each task.

Though she didn't know why, she felt she could not completely loose faith in Ganju; probably because Unohana had recommended him so highly. But by evening, her temper and patience was at an end…

"Now hold still Hana-kun. This will sting," Warned Isane. Hanatarou clenched his teeth and braced himself as the branch was extracted. A silent scream escaped his lips before Isane began to patch him up again.

"Well, we should reach home by nightfall." Grinned Ganju, surveying the land. "You up for more javelin sparring Hana?" He is soon surveying the dirt as he is clouted by lieutenant Kotetsu.

"YOU MORON! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO DO TO HANATAROU-KUN?" barked Isane, her usual timid self blasted away from hours of viewing Channel Sadism, with host Shiba Ganju. "I've never removed so many KNIVES from a person's ARMPIT on the **SAME** DAY!"

"Well, _that_ one was _definitely_ an accident." Admitted Ganju, spitting out dust and small rocks. He gets another taste as Isane began to step on his head.

"Ah! P-please stop Isane-sempai!" pleaded Hanatarou after recovering from a brief faint. He quickly tugged the enraged woman from murdering his trainer. "Ganju's my friend!"

"Hanatarou-kun; friends do not do this to each other!" said Isane and she held up two bottles of his blood she had managed to save. She drew her sword at Ganju and waved it like a deranged serial killer "I am not going to watch you get tortured again! This lunatic is going to kill you if you keep letting him treat you like a dog fetching a stick over cliff!"

"B-b-but I did manage to catch it in the end, didn't I?"

"Th-that's not the point!" snapped Isane, shaking her head. "Hana! Please! Can't you see what he is doing to you is completely pointless?" she begged.

"I-I…" stammed Hanatarou, looking from both his trainers in confusion and doubt. "I just can n-not accept Ganju's help. He is my best friend outside Soul Society, and I do not think at all that he would do anything to really harm me!"

"Of course not!" said Ganju, getting up and dusting his tongue. "The Shiba-training method is the best! Hana, you have really shown how resilient you really are. I knew you could pass these tests, I'm in complete control of the situation."

Isane stood gob-smacked for a few seconds before her face boiled again. "You? YOU?" she seethed. "If it wasn't for me, Hana would have died before you even got to the onion fireball! What would you have done if I wasn't around here to heal Hanatarou after each of your death-trap training sessions? Tell me!"

"Well…" shrugged Ganju, not very intimidated by the tall shinigami. "I probably would have stopped training him and let him rest." (Isane collapsed) "But seeing as you kept bringing him back to tip top condition, I thought I might as well take advantage of it and go through the whole course… plus a little extr-" and he is abruptly thrown at a rock.

"Ah! Please stop!" pleaded Hana, unable to get a word in edgewise. "P-please stop fighting Ganju-san, Kotetsu-sa-"

"Hanatarou!" spoke Isane sternly, picking up her things.

"I-isane-san?" he gulped.

"I'm going back to Seireitei," she said, making Hanatarou blink. "I have no faith whatsoever in this 'Shiba-training' so I'm going back to our division and I want you to come with me." And she passed him his knapsack. "On the way and when we get back, we can continue training the proper way, the safe way."

"B-but Unohana-taicho said we should…"

"Hanatarou-kun!" cried Isane, finally letting some tears of fear for her friend. "I don't care what taicho thinks about Ganju or Kukaku or about all that! I don't want you to get hurt again, and that's all I've seen happen to you all day!" and still crying, she laid hands on his shoulders. "Please! Come back to Seireitei with me! I don't trust these people!"

Hanatarou sort of had a momentary overload of emotion as his superior showed her concern for him. _'Kotetsu-san…' _Without a word, as if guided by instinct, he began to move closer to her to comfort her in her sadness, but Ganju interrupted.

"Hana, she is right. We cannot go on together." Said Ganju, bruised but still sturdy, making the other two turn their attention to him. "Isane is too soft on you, and you know it, but in her judgment I am too harsh." He said, summing up the situation, and in Isane's view the wisest thing he had done all day. "Kotetsu-san, you know very well that Hana can do little more advancement under your care, but I am offering a chance for him to actually surpass what is expected of him. If you take him back, he may advance a little, but I believe, as well as your captain, that only by this way under Shiba supervision can he double again his chances of passing the trial."

"And what have you got to show so far for all this?" argued Isane grimly, sniffling away her tears. "This isn't training, this is butchery!"

"THEN JUST WATCH HIM GET BUTCHERED AT THE TRIAL!" barked back Ganju, silencing her. He looked back to Hanatarou. "Hana! Kotetsu-san cares for you, but how sad do you think she's going to get if you die in the trial? If you really want to help yourself, and Kotetsu-san, you WILL win this fight and you WILL get stronger to do so. You have to choose between us; back to Seireitei or onwards to Kukaku House..." Isane and Ganju waited for his decision.

Poor Hanatarou…

He was in a pickle. He had hardly played a part in the argument, but now he had a whopper of a choice to make. _'Oh why, oh why did I have to cause so much trouble?' _he berated himself as he looked to his two friends. _'I don't want to create trouble for my friends, b-but what can I do? Kotetsu-sempai wants to help protect me, but Ganju wants me to protect her by learning how to defend for myself. Oh! What would Rikichi-san do? What would Ichigo-san do…? What would Unohana-taicho do…?'_

However, it was practically over in his mind; he just didn't want to hurt anyone by his choice…

"Kotetsu-sempai…" he said quietly, and Isane smiled hopefully, but it was cast down as he continued. "I don't want to see you cry at the trial… I must train harder! I will go on with Ganju to get stronger so I will not loose and you will not worry for me anymore!" and he turned away from her with tear clotted eyes. "I'm sorry!"

Ganju looked on to Hanatarou thoughtfully…

"Ha-hana-kun…" stammered Isane, unsure what to say as her heart didn't know which way to bounce. She felt she could not bare to see him hurt anymore, but she also knew it was selfish and wrong of her to stop him from doing what needed to be done to better himself. The dawning of a realization crept in the back of her mind; she was pulling him down. She wasn't letting go. "P-please won't you re-consider g-"

"No." shook Hana, unable to look her straight in the face "No… I can't. Please… Please go home…" Isane reached for him, but he shrugged her off and walked on away.

Turning away before she broke down, Isane wept as she began to run back to Seireitei alone…

'_I guess it's time for the final test now…'_ sighed Ganju. With bitter resentment for himself, but knowing what needed to be done, Ganju went beside Hanatarou and patted him on the back in congratulation. "Good job Hana!" he said in his most cheerful tone he could pull. "We lost that annoying bitch…"

Yamada stopped.

…

Isane looked on bewildered as she saw Ganju's limp and battered body fly past her.

…

"So you see…" said mummy bandaged Ganju, as they carried him on a stretcher to Kukaku House, the arms of which were now in plain sight. "I did all this just so I could get Hana to find courage enough to reject you Kotetsu-san, as well as enough killing intent to actually, by definition, kill me for three minutes. My plan to bring out your stronger side was a success. Ha-ha! We'll get you through this task for sure!" he grinned and gave his best thumbs up he could manage.

Hana was still crying tears of mixed joy, but they were able to make out a couple of jibbered _'thankyou's_ and _'Ganju, you are so clever's _between his sobs. Isane was just silent, in wonder at Ganju's apparent psychological intelligence, or lack thereof. Together, as friends, they entered Kukaku House…

…

"Well, I've seen him in worse condition." Sighed Kukaku Shiba, puffing out a smoke ring as she checked on her sibling. "Thanks for looking after him Shinigami, he's such a bother of a brother."

"Ah, it was a… um, pleasure?" Replied Isane, not sure how to reply to such a bizarre woman.

Kukaku scratched her armpit and yawned. "Eh, so we better get down to business then?" and she had Ganju tossed into his room. She inspected Isane with a lopsided glance "So you are going to go through the trials? Well, being a lieutenant helps, but it still isn't much better than if you were anything BUT captain level…"

"O-oh no! I'm not going to be on trial." Said Isane, realizing the mistake. "My subordinate, 7th seat Yamada Hanatarou will be on trial."

"Eh? And where is he?" asked Kukaku, looking around. "He must be pretty small."

"Oh , he was just washing up after some, er… sparring matches." Said Isane, though she knew he was just washing his soppy face. She heard the familiar sound of his panicked steps down the hall. "In fact, I think that is him right now."

'_I wonder what poor twerp it is this time…?'_ sighed Kukaku, lighting her pipe again.

"Sumimasen!" panted Hanatarou, stepping inside quickly. He slid beside his lieutenant and bowed in greeting before Kukaku. "I got lost in the house. I-it is a pleasure to meet you Kukaku-sempai. It is an honor to be instructed by Ganju's famous sister. Please teach me the ways to become stronger."

Isane nodded at Hanatarou's correct formal procedure and looked back to Kukaku to see her reaction. However, all she saw was Kukaku, frozen in her lighting motion with eyes wide open at young Yamada-kun. Her pipe rested from where it had just plopped out from her mouth. Unsure what was going on, and noticing Hanatarou's growing anxiety in the awkward silence (as well as the fact he had bowed so hard he had planted his face into the floor), she coughed to address Kukaku. "Ahem, Kukaku-san?"

"Bishi…" replied Kukaku absent mindedly.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't quite hear that Kukakusan? Replied Isane, who did not believe she heard hat she had actually said, though she did.

"Wh-what? Oh!" and Kukaku regained the motion of the present. "S-so Hanatarou-chan wants training from me? It would be my pleasure to teach him the ways to my heart..-kido." She quickly added.

"H-heart kido?" asked Isane, with a puzzled look. (She was in fact still gtrying to figure out why she had suddenly reffered Hanatarou as 'chan' so quickly)

"I-I-I meant hot-kido, as in my fire kido!" recovered Kukaku, getting her legs into a more dignifies sitting position than her usual squat. She did a little flame in her palm as evidence. "That's what I meant! Hot like fire and like a, uh, a burning of a brave heart. Yes! Yes, that's what I was meant to say!"

"W-well, I'm not sure if he's capable of anything apart from healing kido…" said Isane with doubt. "That is why he is in the 4th division-"

"Well, we'll never know if we do not try will we?" continued Kukaku, blushing as she finally began to realize just how 'informal' and breezy her attire was. "We will begin tomorrow as the sun rises over the quiet hills and the birds sing sweetly in the trees…" (Awkward silence from Isane and Hanatarou) "B-by that I meant dawn. Heh-heh!" giggled Kukaku in the cutest way she could manage with her cigarette charred larynx.

"Th-th-thankyou so very much Kukaku-sempai!" sighed Hanatarou in relief and gladness. He looked up at her making Kukaku hold her breath. "I will do my best to prove how worthy I am to be under your guidance a-a-and be completely obedient as your student in whatever you ask of me."

Kukaku bowed and said goodnight as Isane and Hanatarou took their leave.

"Well, I think she seemed very nice, Kotetsu-san!" Said Hanataou optimistically. A light spring was in his steps as they followed the servants to their respected quarters. "Ganju was completely wrong about her. She isn't nasty or horrible like he said she was."

"S-still,I think you should be careful Hanatarou-kun." Said Isane, he female instincts going haywire, though the instinct was new and alien to her experience. "After you told her you would submit as a student, I think I saw her drooling…"

"Hmm. She might have been hungry or something." Said innocent Hanatarou.

Needless to say, Isane kept her ears open all through the night.

…

"Argh!" growled Kukaku, frustrated at herself. "I can't believe I met him dressed like this!" she hissed, chucking skimpy dress after skimpier dress out as her servants filed through her wardrobe. "I must have looked like some dirty prostitute!"

"You always dress like that." Commented Ganju from the next room. He is abruptly knocked out cold by a samurai suit.

"Carefully! Careful please Kukaku-sama! Don't stress out!" urged her two similar looking man servants as she ploughed through ancient chests of glamorous fabrics and ribbons. "It's very late at night and you have been doing this for four hours now! You need rest!"

"No! No! No!" shook Kukaku, strapping on one of her more ornate and beautiful jade prosthetic arms. "I must look like a princess instead of a homicidal bull-dike if anything is going to go right! Everything must be perfect for tomorrow, the music, the food, the atmosphere; if I am going to make Hanatarou-chan my husband, and the next head of the Shiba Clan!" (Gasp, shock from the servants) "Tomorrow I'm not only training him, I'm going to be COURTING him!"

…

**Author's Notes: Well, that was a mouthful! I feel I may have ended the Ganju-training a bit abruptly, but this all had to happen in one day, remember, and now we have the stage set for the next contender for Hana's attention! Please tell me if you think I'm beginning to get out of character with anyone (with perhaps the exception of Kukaku who needs to be infatuated for plot reasons) or if I'm just getting boring. **

**Hana still needs one more technique before he can face his three opponents. Just one more chapter of training/courtship/intervention and we will begin THE FIRST TRIAL! GWAHAHA! **

**To ****Greenzaku****: Thanks for that! I plan on making Byakuya one of the key drama elements in the story. His pride in Soul Society clashes so well against the clumsy Hanatarou.**

**For ALL those who are interested in Hanatarou's Bankai, you can check out one of my fellow Kaizer's fan-art inspired by my story. Just type in 'Hanatarou' and 'Bankai', it should be easy to spot. And, **_**no**_**, I will not be using his final idea in the story.**


	5. Yamada and the Shiba

**Alternate fic between the Bount filler and the introduction of the Vaizard and Arrancar. No pairing yet determined. **

…

**There are some hints to later chapters in the author's notes and Review responses, so please read them.**

…

4 days left till the trial…

…

"Morning Kotetsu-san, Hana-san!" smiled Ganju at the breakfast table, taking a large bite from his mammoth fish. He was still wrapped in a few bandages but was moving perfectly fine as if nothing happened. "Try the fish! It's delicious!"  
Isane sat down quietly, just keeping eye contact away from Ganju and to the food. Hana was a bit more receptive though and said good-morning. "It's good to see you've recovered so well Ganju-san!" he said. "Are you in much pain?"

"Nah! A little numb but I'm all good!" laughed the Ganju heartily. "Compared to Byakuya's flower power, this is barely anything. Anyway, I'm a lot tougher than most people realize!"

'_Barely anything compared to Byakuya…_' thought Hana for a brief second. _'So he's really a level far beyond me.'_ He then shook himself awake. "That's good to hear." He replied with a smile to Ganju. He sat down to dig in…

"FISH-PASTE!" Isane suddenly screamed, making Hanatarou flip over himself with two bowls of piping hot noodle soup. She pointed at the small bowl of garnish at the corner of the table with a quivering hand. "FISH-PASTE! AAAAAAAEEEIIII!" And she ran out of the room screaming.

"W-w-wait!" called out Ganju, pointing to the bottle he used. "It's low fat!" but she was already out the door.

At that opportune moment, who should arrive but the host of the party herself; Shiba Kuukaku. Ganju held back his fit of laughter to save his life while Hana just stared in awe at the transformed woman who proceeded to enter the room. Her Jade arm polished and waxed and in a fabulous silk kimono of deep greens, reds and dark blues with a bright red ribbon belt, she sat down at the table with a sprinkle of cherry blossoms courtesy of her man-servants who had latched themselves to the ceiling some minutes before.

Her headband was also gone, replaced by a pair of chopsticks as ornaments since she couldn't find anything else. Her second-only-to Matsumoto bust was also modestly covered by wrapped cloth bandage, but still giving the expression that she could knock someone out if she turned round.

"Good morning Hana-chan!" smiled Kukaku, sitting close to the little speechless Yamada. He actually shuffled away nervously, but she just shuffled closer again "Did you have a good night sleep?"

"A-ah fine. I sleep fine." Said Hana. "Dress good you on that dress looks."

"Oh, thank you."

"Yeah." Nodded Ganju. "Did you get it from 'K-mart'?"

For the sake of the moment Kukaku just laughed with him and shot a fireball near his feet under the table. She then turned attention back to Hanatarou. "Are you up to some training today Hana-kun?" and she began to feed him without prior permission.

"H-hai." Nodded Hana with a full mouth of rice; not daring to protest against his new teacher in case this was some top-secret breakfast exam. "Hai Kukaku-sensei."

"Oh! Don't call me sensei, it's much to formal." Smiled Kukaku, who suddenly felt a hundred years older. "How about Kukaku-sama or Koockie or Kupcake?"

"Or how about Ku-ku or Kukaburra?" added Ganju

'Kupcake' was about to answer, but they were surprise attacked by Hanatarou. "Hey!" he said, suddenly standing up. "Don't be so rude to your sister, Ganju-san, she's trying to help me." And he looked to him pleadingly

With a sigh, the young Shiba nodded "Oh, alright, for your sake Hantarou." Sulked Ganju, though he was glad Hanatarou was much more forthwith than his meek self.

"Thank you Ganju-san."

Kukaku smiled and prepared to put her arm round Hanatarou in gratitude. _'Picture perfect.'_ Her arm rested upon the broad shoulders of Isane, who used shuunpo to slide between the pair. _'F-ing foiled!'_

"I'm sorry I ran out before Kukaku-san, Hanatarou-san." said Isane (A small "Hey! What about me?" mumble from Ganju) She somehow made herself wider, causing a much wider rift between the host and the main guest. "Did I miss anything?" and she tucked into breakfast between a peeved Kukaku and mildly confused Hanatarou.

…

"All rise for the president." Announced Nanao Ise, vice-president of the Shinigami Women's Association.

"Yay! Let's begin operation Hana-chan!" chirped president Yachiru, the pink haired chibi-ness herself.

For the past few days, due to the popularity of Hanatarou facing the scary Yamamoto, the association was pushed into action to find ulterior means of saving the poor 7th seat. In the past the organization had influenced things from the amount of mirrors in the bathrooms to even influencing who gets elected into the council of 46. Once again, they were determined to show their sway on the Shinigami world.

"Eh?" noticed Matsumoto. "Where is Soifon-taicho?"

"She isn't allowed to come until the trials are over." Replied Nanao. "It's pretty obvious she can't be involved in the plan if she is going to be one of Hana's opponents!"

"Ooh! It will be so fun when we figure a way to get Hana past her too." Laughed the big chested strawberry-blonde. Somewhere in Seireitei, Soifon got a small chill. "So have the ideas been read yet?"

"Yes they have Rangiku-san. And it looks like your plan is the most feasible and easy to accomplish; I am _very_ surprised to find."

"Wah?" cried out Yachiru. "What about MY plan?"

"You mean… Have Zaraki-taicho kill all of Hana's opponents?"

"Yeh!" grinned Yachiru.

"Hmm… Then what happens when Hana needs to fight Zaraki?"

"Well obviously Hana will get killed silly!"

"Ri-i-ight…"

"Excuse me." Said Nemu, standing up with something in her hand obscured by censorship pixels "What about my plan involving…"

"NO!"

"Oh! I know! I know!" blurted Yachiru. "We have baldy (Ikkaku) and pretty (Yumichika) join in the fight so they have a really, really big battle so that by the time everyone is almost dead, Hana-chan can heal himself and finish everyone off!"

"Umm… There are a few… err, scheduling problems with that one…" coughed Nanao, pushing up her glasses. "Matsumoto's idea about getting the lieutenants drunk before the match seems to be the best solution so far suggested." And Matsumoto raised a toast with two bottles of top grade sake. "You have your mission lieutenant Matsumoto. May you have success."

…

"I think I might need more practice…" said Hana. He was sorely disappointed at his failed attempts to perform any type of offensive kido. Kukaku however, seemed to still be quite optimistic and sat on the grassy hill under a blossoming sakura tree with a laid out tea set with snacks. "(cough, cough)… Maybe we should practice more? Kukaku-san?" he spoke a little louder to catch her attention.

"I think it's time for a break Hana-chan." Smiled Kukaku, somewhat ignoring her pupil. "Don't you think so?"

"W-w-ell actually I…"

"Of course it is, sit next to me." Insisted Kukaku, pulling him over like a girl with a new puppy. "Now tell, me what are your favorite things to do?"

….

"Twelve Hai-yai-ya!" said Ganju, practicing his sand kido on a straw dummy. "Thirteen Hai-yai-ya."

"I really don't like this…" said Isane to Ganju , pacing in the house. "Why can't we be there to watch over his training? We were his trainers first!"

"Sixteen Hai-yai-ya! Oh, I'm sure my sister knows what she's doing." Shrugged Ganju. "I mean, look at me!"

"…"

"Should I be offended by your twitching left eye…? Seventeen Hai-yai-ya!"

"Oh come on!" sighed Isane, flinging her arms in the air. "It's not that I'm afraid she'll hurt Hanatarou-kun after what YOU pulled, it's just that I think training isn't what she's focusing on right now."

"Eh? What do you mean?" Ganju picked his nose.

"Don't you think it strange that Kukaku has dressed up in such a blatantly attractive manner?"

"Well I suppose she's been acting a little strange lately, but I don't think it will really interrupt his training." And Ganju thought back to his own training under his sister. "I bet he's going through some grueling, yet rewarding exercises as we speak!"

…

"More cake?" asked Kukaku

…

"Still," said Isane. "I have this strange feeling that your sister might have a… a _thing_ for Hanatarou." she fidgeted.

"What? You mean like a present?"

"No! I mean… argh!" and she tugged her hair. "Ganju! Your sister has dressed up all beautiful for a special occasion, like she's been having certain amorous feelings for a certain Shinigami."

"Ooh, so that's why she doesn't want you to watch Hana train!" said Ganju, thinking he had got it straight. "She doesn't want you to distract her!"

"Precisely!"

"Man! I always had a hunch my sister was a lesbian."

"Exact-… what?"

"It's okay Isane-san." Patted Ganju. "If you don't want my sister hitting on you, you should just tell her."

"WHAT? No! I meant-"

"Actually, does she know you're a woman?"

"No you baka! Hanatarou-kun! I meant your sister is trying to hit on Hanatarou-kun!"

"Bwahaha! You're kidding me?" cackled Ganju, rolling over. "MY sister and HANA? Gwahaha! That doesn't make sense! She's like a homicidal maniac and he is just a nice guy who is usually scared out of his wits half the time. He'd be traumatized!"

…

Hanatarou laughed as he watched Kukaku do some spectacular fire-butterflies darting among the falling leaves, yet, with great care, without burning a single one…

…

"I'm telling you! I think your sister is courting Hana!" pleaded Isane as Ganju just continued to laugh at her hysterically.

"Oh stop, please!" laughed Ganju. "My stomach is going to burst!"

"Just go and check for yourself," suggested Isane. "I bet she's molesting him even as we speak… no offence."

"None taken. But really, Isane-san, if you think Hana is in so much 'danger' why don't _you_ check on him?"

Isane shrunk and prodded her fingers together. "Kukaku made me promise to Hana that I wouldn't interfere…"

"So? So did I!"

"Yes, but you interfere all the time anyway."

"True, true." Nodded Ganju. ""Alright, if you really are that worried, then I'll go see what they're up to." And he clapped his hands and jumped to his feet. "Anyways, I was getting curious on how Hana is doing with his kido."

"Thank you Ganju-san." Sighed Isane in relief.

"Right after I reach a hundred." He added, getting back to training to Isane's dismay. "Eighteen Hai-yai-ya…!"

…

Up on the hill, just before the orange lights of sunset really took over, Hana lay exhausted after a long day of training, eating and playing tag with his teacher. He lay down, his head on a pillow, drooling as he usually did after hard work. _'Pillow'_ being merely a functional word for the actual object, which was, in fact, Kukaku's right thigh. (Image resembling Hana falling asleep and drooling on Ganju's leg.)

Kukaku was also drooling, yet for entirely different reasons as she stared blissfully at the clouds with her crush on her lap. It was there that Ganju caught them.

"AHH! ISANE WAS RIGHT!" he gasped

"WH-what? GANJU?" startled Kukaku, now observing the blatantly obvious hill disguise he used to sneak close up (It was an old green carpet). Stirred by the noise, Hana began to awake and stir from his slumber, but quick as thinking, Kukaku shuunpo'ed away with Ganju, rolling and putting the carpet under Hana's head so he stayed in dreamland.

"I can't believe it!" continued Ganju, still recovering "You're actually hitting on my best friend! My sister is doing such a horrible thing!!"

"What the hell do you mean by that?" scolded Kukaku. "Are you saying I'm too old you baka? He's not too young for me, he's like 100 and something!"

"Yeah, but you are a FEW hundred and something!"

Kukaku is about to swat him, using her prosthetic like a club, but holds back. "Agh! Look Ganju, this is really important to me. I really like Hanatarou-chan, and I want this to work out." And Ganju pricked his ears to the sincerity of her words. "I really want him to be the one!"

"What? You're serious?"

"No, I'm joking." Said Kukaku, rolling her eyes. "Of COURSE I'm serious!"

"But I mean…" said Ganju skeptically. "What on earth made someone like you to become attracted to someone like Hana?"

"Isn't it obvious?" burst Kukaku. "He's like the nicest shinigami ever to exist. He's polite, chivalrous and brave!"

"Brave?"

"Of course he is, baka! He's facing nine captains of Seireitei all by himself and he's not running away, but trying to get stronger to crush 'em (Fist pound)! That takes more than just a normal set of guts!"

"Well, I suppose." Agreed Ganju, who realized that this type was exactly the sort that would interest his sister. "But so did Ichigo and the other's yet you didn't try to hit on them!"

"They were 15…" deadpanned Kukaku. "That would have been just wrong."

"Whoops!"

"And there is one more thing…" said Kukaku, who started to blush as she thought about it. "The thing that made me realize he was the absolute, only one for me!"

"What? A pulse?"

The sister mercifully decided to ignore him "The one thing about Hana-chan, more than anyone I have ever known, the thing I find completely irresistible about him are… His eyes." And she sighed as she recalled the first tired stare he gave her the moment they met. Ganju pinched his arm to stop himself laughing. "His dreamy look, his sexy lids, his

gorgeous eyebrows… those shinigami girls must be all over him."

"Actually, they're not." Said Ganju. "They're really not."

"You mean he's the type who avoids attention and raving fangirls for a simple, humble and chaste existence? He's even more desirable than ever!"

"Um… aren't _you_ a raving fangirl now?"

"Am I?" asked Kuukaku, her cast sihlette on a scenery of hellish flame.

"Actually, you're not." Said Ganju. "You're really not."

"Kukaku-sensei, Ganju-san? Are you there?" said Hanatarou, stirred awake and following the voices.

Kukkaku decided to put in a last word before leaving to resume training. In her more serious tone, yet calm voice she addressed him "Ganju, you know how you always wanted another brother?" and Ganju looked at her curiously. "If I marry Hanatarou, he will be your brother in law." And she looked at him hopefully. "Wouldn't you like that?"

"Hana is already like a brother to me neesan." Said Ganju, shaking his head hat his proud sister would stoop so low as to bribe him. "But if you want to ask him out, that's his decision whether or not to accept, not mine."

"So you still don't approve of this?"

"What? I never said that, I think it would be cool to have Hana as an actual brother of the Shiba clan! Boo-ha!" he said enthusiastically. "I'm just concerned that with all this training, your… er, 'budding relationship' might be interrupted (or vice versa)."

"What training?" asked Kukaku, smiling, making Ganju look puzzled. "Hana has enough strength to beat those crappy lieutenants, even if he is not quite as strong as any of them."

"Eh? B-b-but how does that work?"

"You'll see when we get to the event." Said Kukkaku, "Right now I only have one technique to teach Hana to bolster his chances at winning, and I'm very confident he will have mastered it in time. And besides…" she added. "Who do you think will be training him for all the other trials he'll have to face?"

…

…

…

"I never thought it would come to this…" sighed General Yamamoto, leaning on his staff. "I am disappointed…"

Much of Seireitei had gathered at the Southern gate for the match against Hanatarou. However it was only ten minutes before the start, in which time, if Hanatarou did not show, he would forfeit the match. General Yamamoto was also feeling a lot less lenient to the poor shinigami, and looked like he would take away his powers instead of practicing the leniency he had planned.

The tenth division had done a large scout of the area and continued to search with radio contact, but Hanatarou could not be found with ten or even thirty minutes away from Seireitei. It had appeared to everyone that he had done a runner…

Shunsui and Jushiro stood by Unohana, who was the only one who still had faith in Hanatarou. Even Rikichi was feeling the pangs of doubt as the minutes reached five.

"What a disgrace…" muttered Byakuya from his window, sensing the reiatsu of all the gathered Shinigami. "He does not belong here…" and he went back to his calligraphy… then dropped his pen...

"Pfft, what a waste of time!" snapped Ikkaku, 3rd seat of the 11th division rising from his seat with Yumichika. "Looks like the show's over. You coming back to HQ taicho?"

"Hmmph." Grumbled Kenpachi. "I'll wait a little longer, it's not like I have anything better to do. I want to see a good fight dammit!"

"But there's only two minutes left now!"

"Eh? Can't you sense it? That determination? That will to fight and prove himself?"

"What? From Kira and Hisagi?" asked Ikkaku, looking to the two lietenants as they waited, still standing to attention, but very disappointed beside Yamamoto.

"No…" laughed Kenpachi, pointing to the sky lazily. "I meant that!" and his men looked up to see a faint blue light brighter than the sky, heading towards Seireitei at amazing speed.

Yamamoto sighed in relief as he looked up at the incoming barrier cannon ball, courtesy of the Kukkaku cannon. All over the place, the scouting tenth divisipon began calling up to announce the imminent impact. "Heh-heh… There's hope for him yet, it seems."

"I think it would be wise to step back a little…" said Unohana to Shunsui and Jushiro, and the crowd began moving away from the gate.

"Feeling uneasy are we?" asked Yamamoto to Kira and Hisagi, who were hesitantly stepping back. "Show him some pride of the Shinigami. Stand tall." And the two lieutenants held their ground.

Like a blue comet, the object hit the shield around Seireitei and after flickers of lightning and tremors of energy, it penetrated and shot faster than before. Apart from the captains and the lieutenants, the other shinigami began moving away from the impact zone as fast as their legs could carry them. The ball remained in tact and zoomed in not ten feet in front of Yamamoto himself with a terrific crash, bursting a brilliant flash of light and, oddly enough, fireworks.

"S-s-sumimasen." Said Hanatarou's voice amid the dissipating dust. He bowed as the cloud cleared away and rose to his opponents, with Ganju, Isane and Kuukaku by his side. He also wore a white cloak with the Shiba symbol on the corner, to the surprise of the other shinigami "I-I hope I'm not too late? Am I?"

"No, you are not Yamada Hanatarou." Said Yamamoto, who had blocked the impact's blast with his own powerful reiatsu. "That being the case… let the trial commence without delay."

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

**To everyone, the hanatarou bankai pic is on deviantart. Thanks for the REALLY positive reviews, and I'll reply to a few questions and queries…**

**jster1983: That's what makes it all the more interesting to play with ;)**

**DragonGoddess**** & ****AmberFox and Lyell****: Yeah, I intended for a more Japanese style princess. I thought about what you said and the princess outfit like Princess Peach, Zelda etc, but I couldn't quite pull it this chapter. Maybe later ;)**

**PAIRINGS:**

**The Kukaku/Hana is still developing but plays a major part in the theme 'Being yourself' which will become more important as Hanatarou completes more tasks. Isane/Hana is more a protective sisterly love at the moment, but I can see possibilities with the awkward couple.**

**For those interested, here is the list of some tasks, but not allocated to their captains and not in order as to plague your mind! GWAHAHA!**

**1. A Race**

**2. A beach volleyball match**

**3. A duel**

**4. Days of servitude**

**5. Wrestling**


	6. The First Task

**Alternate fic between the Bount filler and the introduction of the Vaizard and Arrancar. No pairing yet determined. **

* * *

"Kira Izuru," said Yamamoto, "Step forward."

"H-hai!" answered Kira, stepping up and drawing his sword.

"Hisagi Shuhei," continued the general, "Step forward."

"Hai!" answered Hisagi, doing likewise.

Hanatarou gulped as he looked at both experienced and powerful shinigami with fear. Even then, Yamamoto glared at poor Hana for flinching and the 7th seat quickly resumed proper attention, but it didn't stop him from cringing as Yamamoto introduced the third participant...

"Hinamori Momo," said Yamamoto, to the surprise of all present. "Step forward."

From the crowd, hiding herself in the general bustle, little Momo stepped forward and presented her sword with dignity, shrugging off all ideas that she was still ailing in bed. "Hai!"

None was more surprised than Hitsugaya at her appearance "Hinamori?" gawked Hitsugaya, feeling very uneasy and concerned. "When did they decide this?"

"Yesterday…" sighed Matsumoto, shaking her head and looking miserable "I heard that Yamamoto visited her and saw her fit to participate."

"Then why wasn't I told when her condition improved?" blurted Hitsugaya, annoyed and fearful for his childhood friend. "I left a message that I would be told first! Why didn't anyone…?"

"Because you would have stopped her," answered Byakuya, beside the pair.

"Kuchiki Taicho?" said Hitsugaya, with a glare. "Don't tell me you…?"

"Yamada needs to face three lieutenants, a third seat would hardly suffice…" said the darkly cool captain, still looking straight ahead. "I see no reason to fear for her safety, not particularly because of the weak opponent, but also because she is a shinigami; she should not fear death." And he peered to his shorter colleague. "And neither should you."

Aside from Hitsugaya's aura of murderous intent, Unohana was also projecting feelings of hate in Byakuya's direction, balanced by her concern for her subordinate, shaking as he stood. It was then that Nanao Ise began to get a tad concerned as well.

"Wait! The plan!" and she looked hard at the two male lieutenants, "Hisagi and Kira… They're NOT drunk?" and she glanced to Matsumoto, who sighed and heaved her shoulders.

"I couldn't do it," she said defeated, looking sadly at the unopened bottle of extra strong sake she had saved between her cleavage. "Kuchiki taicho was watching them like a hawk! I couldn't get them drunk any more than I could sleep with my taicho." And Toshiro adjusted his beams of hate.

"Kuchiki-taicho was watching them? Wait! That would mean he knew about the plan!" deducted Nanao, "But who could have told him?"

"I dnn't knww?" shrugged Yachiru, sucking on a Kuchiki branded lollipop on Kenpachi's shoulders. Nannao dropped her head in shame.

'_H-h-hinamori fukutaicho as well?'_ thought Hana, his knees shaking. _'I s-s-suppose she's more my height, but she is as strong as K-kira and Hisagi…'_

"Three lieutenants for three tasks in one," said Yamamoto at last, "You have had 17 days to repent and prepare. Step forward to be judged 7th seat, Yamada Hanatarou!"

Stepping away from his three mentors and friends, Hanatarou meekly strode forward and drew out Hisogomaru. With the same courage and determination as he had on the bridge against Byakuya, he faced his fate... "H-hai!"

The stage was set…

The designated area to fight was the whole of Seireitei, though the crowd that was present made a ring about twenty meters across. Shadowing them was the Northern wall of soul stone and behind were the guard buildings of Seireitei itself, with some of the keener eyed spectators watching from the windows.

"Don't kill him okay?" said Hisagi to his companions in a whisper. "We are only here to stop him, quickly and quietly."

"Understood." Nodded Kira, feeling a bit ashamed for facing a lone 7th seat with help from two other lieutenants.

"Please, Hisagi-san, Kira-san, let me end this quickly." Agreed Hinamori, preparing her mind for a quick run up and knock-out blow. "You two don't need to worry about me…" _'Shiro-kun and everyone shouldn't worry about me.'_ With a glance, her two friends agreed to allow her to prove to everyone her revived health and ability by having the first, and probably only attack at their unfortunate opponent.

While the three lieutenants had their resolve worked out, Hanatarou was still only a little over stepping up to the challenge…

'_What am I doing here? What am I doing here?_' he thought to himself in a gibbering mess of fear and anxiety. He had a steady mind when sparring against Rikichi, Isane and Ganju, but now at the real deal, the true event, the situation had overwhelmed him. His mind was in turmoil at the ridiculousness of the situation, of the strength of his opponents, his own incapability and the many trials yet to come. With all the eyes of Seireitei watching him, he began to fall under the weight of their stare. _'I can't do this! I shouldn't be here!'_ and his stance began to slowly break down to the dismay of his friends.

'_Concentrate Hana, concentrate…'_ thought Ganju over and over as he looked on anxiously at Hanatarou's still quivering pose.

'_Remember your training, remember to strengthen your heart and resolve…'_ though Isane, equally worried. _'This is not a time for the faint hearted… You have to snap out of it!'_

'_If he doesn't prepare his mind, it will all be over…'_ thought Kukaku, clutching her prosthetic arm so herd her nails began to sink in. '_Come on Hana-chan… I know you can do it…'_

But think as they might, their involvement in Hana's training was now at an end; they could do no more for him now. It was up to Hanatarou to remember his training and bring his mind back from his fear and back to his hope, and desire to fail not. But as Yamato threw down his hand to begin the match, there was one more person who had yet to give their input into Hana's training…

As the hand fell, time seemed to slow for Hanatarou. He could see everyone he cared about watching him from the sidelines of the match. His heart beat felt like an earth tremor, the sound of Yamamoto's voice became a low drawn out drone and then all sound seemed to cease. He watched as Hinamori took a frighteningly fast two meter step forward and the shines of light of his sword as it began to lower in his weakening grasp. He saw the blur around his eyes as he began to faint… and it was then he felt it…

Snapping to attention like a rat biting the electrified muffin, Hanatarou regained his composure and he struck. He struck with all his might, with all his speed with a steadfast mind, soul and spirit. He swung his sword for his right to be called a shinigami, for his honor, for his dignity and for his friends.

* * *

For the first time in many a century, the whole of Seireitei was rendered speechless. None was more surprised than Kuchiki Byakuya, none was more horrified than Hitsugaya Toshiro, none more relieved like Koketsu Isane and none was more deliriously pleased then Zaraki Kenpachi…

"Ha-ha-ha!" Kenpachi finally cackled. "Good! Veeeery good Yamada!"

Hisagi and Kira fell to their knees, their hand on their throats as they felt the cut across their necks, as did Hinamori a few feet in front who was struck first; each one looking horrified and morbidly faint at the surprising attack. Hanatarou, who was perhaps the most surprised, stood behind Hisagi and Kira, still holding his sword out after he raced past them, slitting their throats.

"I… I thought they would try to block that…?" he exclaimed timidly, his hand shaking as he realized what he had just done. _'OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG…'_

"Well…" coughed Kukaku, finally taking in a breath of air. "That wasn't according to plan, but it was no less entertaining!"

"HINAMORI!" yelled out Hitsugaya, bolting forward, but he is swiftly brought back to his place by Shunsui. "Stop! Let me go! Hinamori is…!" shouted the white haired shinigami, before he is muffled by the much taller captain.

"Don't make a scene Hitsugaya-taicho. She's fine." Said Shunsui, turning Toshiro back to face the scene. "Hanatarou is a medical shinigami after all. Don't worry. It is not quite what it seems…"

Kira and Hisagi coughed and spluttered as their throats healed over due to Hisagomaru's healing ability. The fatal wounds healed over with whips of vapor, leaving no trace of the cut. Hinamori was the first to recover from the shock and resumed (a more defensive) stance with the guys following her lead. The three of them gaining more respect for Hanatarou than any one present.

"Well, how was that for an opening move?" smirked Shunsui, releasing Hitsugaya. "Yare-yare. If he had any sword apart from his own, we would have just lost three lieutenants."

"You see Kuchiki taicho…" said Unohana with a smile. Byakuya straightened his shocked face to look back at her. "You should not underestimate Hanatarou-kun."

"His shikai ability still has much not to be desired in this match… Though I admit he has surpassed some predictions, he is still no match for a captain… I stand by what I said." said Byakuya calmly. "And the battle is far from over. He wasted his chance."

Yes, Byakuya was right, Hanatarou was slapping himself mentally with a fist full of stupid fish for not finishing off his enemies when he had the opportunity. Indeed, Isane was also pulling at Ganju's hair in frustration over the recurring hole in Hanatarou's stratagem. But it wasn't exactly according to his battle plan, to be able to take out his three opponents in the opening move, so he still had his main plan to fall back on. He got ready for another attack, this time anticipating his opponents would be a little more careful of his approach.

"He's as fast as a lieutenant… maybe just a little slower." Said Hisagi, still feeling a little weird after his near death experience. "Heh. We completely underestimated him; we shouldn't have let our guard down so low." He turned to his comrades. "Kira, Hinamori."

"Yes?" they answered, a little pale and still shaken.

"There is no need to go easy on him." Smiled Hisagi. "It would be an insult to show him anything less than our full strength now he has proved himself. Alright?"

Kira nodded, "We won't lose to him Hisagi-san. Not the three of us together." And he raised his sword. "Raise your head, Wabisuke!" and his zampukto released to its hooked form.

"Snap, Tobiume!" called out Hinamori, her zampukto releasing with several jitte-like prongs on its length.

Though not releasing his own zampukuto, Hisagi's reiatsu pulsated to its full strength and gave a proper offensive stance he would usually only use against truly strong opponents.

"Perfect!" smiled Kuukaku, snickering delightfully. "Now we can use our proper tactics! GO HANA-CHAN!"

'_So they have a strategy? He'll probably go for Momo first…'_ thought Kira _'That would be the wisest thing to do so he can eliminate our advantage in numbers faster by taking care of the weakest opponent. The next target would probably be me, then Hisagi-san last…' _However, much to Kira's surprise, Hanatarou dove straight for Kira and Hisagi. "WH-WHAT?" he exclaimed, swinging his sword at the small figure, in the process almost lobbing of Hisagi's head.

"HEY! Watch out Kira!" shouted Hisagi, who then got head-butt in the gut from Hanatarou, darting about like a mouse. "Oof!"

"Sorry Hisagi-sa- OW!" exclaimed Kira as Hanatarou punched his side (very weakly but still painful) He swung Wabisuke again, but at such close quarters, wielding the huge weapon was becoming ridiculous, especially with Hanatarou dashing back closer to Hisagi. "What a sneaky tactic!"

"I see…" observed Rikichi, watching the match with the greatest of enthusiasm. "Hana is taking advantage of his great evasion and Kira's large sword to make close combat teamwork really difficult for the lieutenants."

"No, it would be hard even if Kira hadn't released his sword." Said Ganju.

"Eh?"

"Shinigami usually fight alone, or if they do fight together, one is the healer or kido user." Said Isane. "Kira, Hisagi and Hinamori might have fought together before against bigger hollows, but not against such a small opponent. In this battle, Hana has the advantage by attacking them together, rather than one on one."

But despite his 'advantage' Hanatarou couldn't keep up the dance for long. Hisagi and Kira were slowly beginning to time their attacks and getting use to Hanatarou's movements. He needed to take one down soon, or else he would be soon out of energy.

"KIRA! HISAGI! MOVE!" called out Hinamori, brandishing an energy ball at the end of her zampukto and green lightning around her other hand. She saw what Hanatarou was doing and decided to break up the fight so Hana couldn't take advantage of the close quarter fighting "Crash Down!"

Kira, Hisagi and Hanatarou decided to wisely obey her command, but just as Hanatarou leapt, Hisagi managed to push him down. "This is over!" said Hisagi, leaping after Kira.

However, as he pushed Hana down, the meek shinigami's arms flailed like a hyperactive squid, clutched at anything he could to keep upright… and that meant Hisagi's cloth belt.

As the shinigami's pants fell, Hana's sandal also caught inside his trousers, stopping Hisagi's in his tracks… and caught with his pants down in front of Hinamori's attack…

'_This is over… this is so over…'_ thought Hisagi with a small cry, just as the red ball of energy and lightning connected with his groin. He was sent rolling and smoking along the ground in excruciating pain that made every male observer bend over in understanding. "Oooouuuwwww…"

"Th-that was magnifiscent movement!" exclaimed Rikichi, surprised and delighted. "I never imagined Hana could beat Hisagi fukutaicho in hand-to-hand."

"Actually, I think it was just his clumsiness…" said Ganju.

"Yes, it was clumsiness…" agreed all the other lieutenants and captains of Seireitei with dreary looks.

"Well, I guess his clumsiness is just another part of his power…" shrugged Isane, "I-I guess…"

"Nonsense!" barked Kukaku. "Hana-chan obviously planned that whole attack!"

"Eee!" squeaked Momo, "Hisagi-san! I'm so sorry!"

"..." was all Hisagi could say for the moment.

"Hisagi-san! Hisagi-san, are you alright?" called Kira and Hanatarou simultaneously.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" screamed Ganju, Isane, Rikichi and Kukaku in unison, waving their arms about in frustration. "Get a move on!"

"A-ah! Yes, s-sorry!" stammered Hana, getting out his medical kit and kneeling beside Hisagi. (Kira just stood and watched dumbfounded.)

"HANA NO BAKA! STOP HEALNG YOUR OPPONENTS!"

"Ah! Th-that's right!" said Hana, picking up his sword just as Kira swung down his. "AH!" Deflecting and enduring the hits Kira gave behind his zampukto, Hana began to notice something funny about the sword… It was getting heavy…

"I think you're starting to notice…" said Kira, backing away as Hana managed to push away his sword hand to kick him. "My zampukto doubles the weight of whatever it cuts each time it cuts. Your sword must weigh about 200kg now." He gloated.

"Ah! You're right." Exclaimed Hana.

"Is that all you can say?" asked Kira, raising his sword. "I suggest you forfeit…"

"Oh dear…" said Hana. "I'm sorry Hisagi-san…" he said, to Kira's surprise.

"Eh?" said Hisagi, slowly recovering with Hinamori, helping him up.

"I-I was so surprised when Kira attacked… I-I picked up your sword by accident…"

"WHAT?" shouted Hisagi, now noticing his zampukto was missing. "KIRA!"

"I-it's okay," said Kira, "I can reverse the effe- GAAAHHHH!" he screamed as Hana dropped the 200 kilograms of metal on his foot. "GAAAAAAAGGGHHH!" he cried in anguish.

"S-sorry Kira-san!" blurted Hana, snatching away Kira's sword and tossing it away. He then grabbed Kira's waist and pushed him into Hinamori and Hisagi like he had practiced against the trees. He also drew out a pair of scissors and a Kukaku firework… _'But I mustn't lose now…' _With Hisagi still getting to his feet, he and Hinamori are forcefully taken into a brawl, hazed over by the firework Hanatarou released into their midst, exploding with a fizz and crackle. All the spectators could see was the odd hand and leg popping out from the cloud of smoke.

"Hmm… This is a risky tactic…" growled Kukaku, her good mood diminishing to fear. "Using the firework to make it harder to avoid hitting your ally was only meant to be used as a last resort. Which also means Hana must be nearly out of energy too…"

"I know…" nodded Isane. "Hana may have improved a lot, but can he really confuse Hisagi, Kira and Hinamori enough to win in close combat?"

"Don't doubt Hana-chan!" scolded Kukaku, swatting Isane over the head with a fan. "He's strong! Really strong!"

"This is bad." Said Ganju, folding his arms and shaking his head. "This is REALLY bad…"

"W-wait! Look!" exclaimed Rikichi, pointing to the smoke. Everyone looked over in amazement to see Hanatarou, strangely with a scrunchy tying back his hair, emerging battered, cut and bruised but free from the scuffle…

That was still going on…

While Hanatarou regained his breathe and began to heal him self as best he could, the fight continued in the smoke, commentated by the voices of Kira and Hisagi.

"I got him Kira!" said Hisagi, punching the smaller shinigami unconscious.

"I got him too Hisagi-san!" said Kira, also still punching.

(Though they didn't know it, everyone else did…)

"Right! Time to finish this!" heaved Hisagi, lifting up the figure with Kira "Three-two-ONE!" and they sucker punched the figure out of the smoke and a magnificent ten meters across the floor. And as the dust cleared, and once they had finished shaking hands and recovered their breath, and after they noticed Hanatarou was still standing and the strange absence of Hinamori, Kira and Hisagi dropped their jaws in horror.

It didn't take a rocket scientist to work out who it was…

"H-HINAMORI-CHAN?" gasped Hisagi and Kira (As well as a horrified Hitsugaya). The 5th division lieutenant lay in a dazed state with bruises and swelling to remember. With two black eyes, three missing teeth and possibly broken bones, it looked like another few weeks in the emergency ward for the poor shinigami.

Her hair was also, noticeably, cut…

"Y-you don't mean…?" gawked Ganju.

"Surely not!" stammered Isane.

"I told you not to doubt him! Haha!" laughed Kukaku (who also doubted him) "That was brilliant! Purely brilliant! GO-GO HANA!"

"He cut her hair to make it seem it was him in the confusion of the smoke!" gasped Rikichi. "Incredible!"

While Hanatarou, Hisagi and Kira looked on anxiously (a respectable distance from one another), a dignitary announced the twitching Hinamori was no longer fit to compete.

"Oookay…" said Shunsui, flinching at the sight. "Now you can go bring her back Hitsugaya-taicho…" he said, pushing Toshiro forward.

"R-right!" said Toshiro, racing out to retrieve Momo as the gong was sounded to indicate she was incapacitated. He shuunpoed her back to the hospital.

"You'll pay for that Yamada!" growled Hisagi, picking up his sword after Kira released the weight effect.

"I can't believe you made us do such a horrible thing to Hinamori-san!" said Kira, clenching had at his zampukto.

"I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!" wailed Hanatarou, feeling completely horrible.

"NOW'S NO THE TIME FOR THAT!" screamed Hanatarou's support again. "FIGHT HANA-CHAN! FIGHT!"

"You go and disable his sword Kira!" said Hisagi, preparing a red kido flame. "I'll give support rounds when you get clear of him!"

"Right!" agreed Kira and he rushed in to Hanatarou who had no choice but to block the first hit, doubling the weight of his sword.

Ducking and weaving, Hanatarou did his best to avoid Kira's strikes, but soon, with Hisagi's powerful bombardment of kido in between, his sword was struck seven times; 150 kilograms of metal. Dropping his now useless weapon, Hanatarou was now forced to use hand to hand combat against Kira and his sword.

"You should give up Yamada!" said Kira, swishing his sword back and forth while jumping back to allow Hisagi to shoot. "Give up now or suffer more pain than what you caused Hinamori-san!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" wailed Hana, rolling, falling and scrambling about the floor; anything to get away from the truckload of attacks pelted at him. He noticed with a shiver that Hisagi's blast was able to shoot his sword up in the air a considerable distance, even at such a weight. The whole area was littered with large craters from the rage filled blasts from the skilled shinigami. "I'm sorry!"

"Sorry is not enough!" said Hisagi. "FORFEIT THE MATCH!"

"I'm sorry…" cried Hanatarou.

Kira growled as he managed to corner Hana against one of Hisagi's craters "Don't be so pathetic!" and he raised his sword to finish him off, forgetting all about holding back. Hanatarou dodged the blow which sunk into the disturbed earth, "I'm sorry…" Hana repeated, this time looking at his enemy. Kira noticed Hana's sword by his side "But I cannot lose…"

"Move Kira!" shouted Hisagi again. Kira leapt back, uneasy, and Hisagi let the blast out.

Hanatarou dodged the blast with great strain on his muscles and ran towards Kira as his sword flew into the air.

"1st Binding art!" Hanatarou yelled, shooting his hand forward, catching Kira completely off guard. "OBSTRUCTION!"

Immediately, Kira's arms flung behind him and he dropped his sword. Hanatarou leapt up on him and pinned him down.

"Hana… can do kido?" exclaimed Rikichi, stunned.

'_Yes… He can use kido…'_ thought Isane, remembering the intense training at Kukaku house that almost made them late for the trial…

* * *

_Two days earlier…_

* * *

"_Hana-chan, there are two types of Kido users…" explained Kukaku as they sat at the Kukaku practice range/Ganju with a target on his back. "There are the normal kido users and then there are the specialists…"_

"_You mean like the 4__th__ division healers, Kukaku-sensei?" asked Hanatarou._

"_Yes, very good Hana-chan." Smiled Kukaku, who adored any chance she got to praise him. "It is also like how I specialize in fire, and Ganju with sand. The other kido we have little or no ability in."_

"_S-so… what you're saying is…" gulped Hana. "It's impossible for me to learn any offensive kido?"_

"_From what I see…" said Kukaku. "Yes. That is correct…"_

"_B-but that would mean I have nothing left to learn from you? That I should start getting back to Seireit-" but he is muffled by spoonful of sweet and sour pork from his teacher._

"_What have I told you Hana-chan?" said Kukaku with a sigh. "You don't need to worry about transportation. I'll get you there on time, don't worry!"_

_Hana swallowed his mouthful and continued his rant "B-b-but what should I do here in the meantime?"_

"_Train your kido, as your captain ordered. What else?"_

"_But you said I…"_

"_I said you can't do any offensive kido… But what about defensive?" asked Kukaku._

"_I… I s-struggle with that…" said Hana, twiddling his thumbs and remembering his last attempt ended up with him dislocating his elbows._

"_I've seen you try Hana-chan." Said Kukaku sweetly. "And though you think you are no good, I see much potential for you in the two binding arts you are able to touch."_

"_B-but they are only two spells!" whined Hana. "And they are the first two as well! They are the weakest of all the techniques!" and Kukaku gave him more food to stop his whining._

"_Never the less, they are the only two you can do…" said Kukaku, ruffling his hair and shuffling a bit closer (Ganju goes off to go home and re-think his life) "And I will surely make you a master of them!"_

_Not too far off, but away from their vision, Isane looks at the pair, saddened._

* * *

_Present day…_

* * *

With Kira receiving another binding spell to secure him long enough for the plan, Hanatarou leapt away just in time as his zampukuto, which was flipped up by Hisagi's blast, skewered Kira through his chest and through both his arms behind his back.

"Sumimasen Kira-san!" said Hana, watching the scene with a shudder. "But you'll be fine, j-just rest."

The sensation was altogether new for Kira as he screamed out in pain, horror and helplessness as he couldn't move his arms, or leap away for the swords incredible weight. It would be a while before the effect wore off by itself, and without his zampuko in hand, he couldn't release it, so he fainted dead away, but kept alive by Hana's special sword.

The gong sounded a second time.

"You bastard!" seethed Hisagi, now the only competitor left. He drew his sword and ran at Hana before anyone could remove Kira from the field.

"And now the finale…" gloated Kukaku, her heart beating fast in anticipation.

"This is it!" smiled Ganju.

"The end." Sighed Isane, relieved. She fell on her knees and breathed deeply. Tears fell from her face in joy "He made it…"

Hisagi roared up towards Hanatarou, and as he did so, Hisagomaru's gauge filled up in Kira's torso… It was ready…

With a great pull, using all his strength, Hanatarou heaved the weighted sword from Kira (Who woke up from the shock and fainted again) and released Hisagomaru's devastating attack "SUMIMASEN!" he yelled out, and the crimson slash that could wound a Gillian Menos, flew out towards the astonished Hisagi…

Who evaded the attack…

The crowd gasped as the incredible blast missed Hisagi, who leapt high into the air, and crashed into some unfortunate 11th division spectators. Now Hana was in the open, still recovering from the strain of lifting the sword, with an angry shinigami falling from the heavens and a fifty kilogram scalpel his only weapon. He dropped his sword and stood his ground…

"NO! Hana! Dodge it!" yelled the terrified Rikichi, but Hana still stood there, starring straight at Hisagi's merciless eyes. The shinigami crowd looked on with a ready cringe for the imminent impact of Hisagi's blade on Hanatarou's head. The only ones still smiling in the mass of gasping faces, were Hana's mentors, who had already recognized…

Hisagi had lost…

Just before the slash came crashing down, Hana lifted both his hands and summoned forth his second and only other defensive kido; binding art number 2… "REPEL!"

In an instant, Hisagi's body lurched into a forward arc as the kido hit him point blanc and backwards five meters into the air again. It knocked the wind out of him and with the injuries he sustained earlier, he could not return to form in mid-air…

"REPEL!" shouted out Hanatarou again, sweat pouring down his face. Hisagi lost grip on his sword and went a further eight meters skyward. The crowd was gob smacked.

"REPEL!" Hana again screamed, shaking from his toes, giving another fifteen meters to the height and, with adjusted aim, spinning the poor lieutenant. Hitsugaya notces the silence and looks out towards the North gate from the hospital window.

"REPEL!" again he called out, with arms trembling, lifting another twenty-five meters and making Hisagi sick as the spin increased in speed. And with one last struggled 'REPEL' Hana's arms dropped to his sides, completely out of energy, and he fell to his knees, barely conscious. Meanwhile, Hisagi was knocked out and a hundred meters in the air spinning… and in fact straight into the Northern wall with a splat in the distance…

Hanatarou fell backwards with a light thud, his heavy breathing slowing with his exhaustion. He was so done he couldn't move a finger, and he struggled to keep his lids from falling shut with each fluttered blink.

The last things Hanatarou heard or saw were the rushing feet of the medics, racing to Kira and Hisagi, the resounding gong of the defeat of the third opponent, the trumpet sound of Yamada Hanatarou's success… and the face of Unohana who bent over to anesthese him…

* * *

Yamamoto grumbled and handed Shunsui fifty bucks.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

**Biggest chapter so far I believe. I don't think I need to say much, I just hope Hana beating those three wasn't too absurd for his character (specifically his first attack, but I felt i needed to include the healing throat scene). I'll explain the secret behind the massive improvement in Hana's kido in the next chapter. Also, the next task will be revealed, so stay tuned :D**

**La Romanesque: Thanks again for the corrections. The association will have a BIG role in the next task :D**

**Schattenmond: Yeah, I noticed Ganju and Isane are sort of compatible too. I'll keep the option open, but I'll poll the question later.  
**

**jster1983: Yes, yes they will :D**

**To everyone else: Thank you so very much!**


	7. One down, Nine to go

**Alternate fic between the Bount filler and the introduction of the Vaizard and Arrancar. No pairing yet determined.**

**...  
**

Hanatarou woke up and fell out of bed with a muffled "Aiyaa!" Still drowsy, what happened next came as a blur to him.

"He's awake! He's awake!" said a shrill female voice from the other room, and before Hana could scramble out of his sheets and even figure out where he was, about eight dozen squealing shinigami fangirls barged past Ganju and Isane, filling the room to bursting point.

"Sign my ribbon Hanatarou-kun!" they said.

"Have some of my home baked cookies!"

"Go out with me!"

"Kiss me Hana-chan!"

"Sing! Sing us your song!"

"Stab me Hana-kun! Stab meee!"

Just before the mountain collapsed on him, Isane and Ganju managed to hold off the tide and snatch him away just in time. Then the heavy artillery entered.

"And today's forecast is a hot 200 degrees!" announced Kuukaku, walking in and setting the floor ablaze. The fangirls screamed and ran off with hot feet. The Shiba matriarch slung Hana over her shoulder and marched straight to Unohana's office.

…

"S-so I'm at 4th squad infirmary!" exclaimed Hana as he recognized the halls he had cleaned many, many times. "Was I really that injured?"

"It was because you overdosed on your recovery pills Hana-chan." Said Kuukaku, scolding him lightly. She was dressed in a gold colored kimono with a golden pheasant pendant pinning her hair in an upward facing bun at the back.

She had kept the gentle-woman façade on, even while Hanatarou was unconscious, in case she needed to give a good impression to his mother-like taicho. Many who knew the old Kuukaku, the one who could remove beer caps with certain parts of her chest, could hardly look in her direction without coughing in shock or in violent humor. The only one of these people not laughing was Ganju, who was in charge of her vast mountain of laundry she had recently acquired to dazzle Hana with a range of dresses.

"That was a really silly thing to do." Kuukaku sighed. "I was worried!"

"Yes," agreed Isane, tagging just behind to make sure Kuukaku wasn't carrying him just to check out Hana's posterior. "You took three in such a short period of time that your body couldn't cope with the fluctuation of energy."

"O-oh… I remember now." Hana then remembered that he had used three pills to sustain his fight. Once when he entered the scuffle that managed to knock out Hinamori, second when he faced and defeated Kira using defensive kido, and the third followed almost immediately after so he could do enough Repel blasts to send Hisagi hurtling into the stratosphere.

Doping was not really against the rules, as they were counted as shinigami tools, much like any sword, kido or auxiliary items acquired from shikai and bankai. Without the pills, using maximum power constantly to fight the three lieutenants would have been impossible, he would have run out of stamina within seconds.

Then the other memory hit him…

He had won…

"I… I won?" he asked.

"Well, yeah." Laughed Kuukaku, and Isane chuckled with her. "You beat the three lieutenants Hana-chan! It was a spectacular fight!"

Hanatarou's mouth gaped wide open for himself. He even felt a little faint as the whole situation began to heave upon his timid mind. But amid his overload, he felt proud of himself.

Something he had not felt for a very long time…

"Yes, Hana!" laughed Ganju happily, "Only nine tasks to go!"

Then Hanatarou fainted.

…

When Hanatarou recovered, he woke up in the same block as Usagi and Momo. They were still recovering from their ordeal and bed bound, but they were awake. Kira was also there, so Hana decided to pay his proper respects with lunch and a proper salute to their battle.

"H-Hinamori-san, Usagi-san, Kira-san, thank you for the honor of fighting you…" said Hana in correct protocol of the trials.

Kira (who had recovered quickly thanks to Hanataro's technique) bowed. "You are a great tactician Yamada-san, though I would never have guessed it." He looked to at bed confined Usagi who was silent and looked as if he was in deep thought. "I-I think I speak for Usagi-san too."

"Yes, you were very brave in that fight Yamada-san." Said Momo, also bowing as she sat in bed. Secretly, she was glad he had defeated Kira and Usagi as well, as she didn't want to be the only one knocked out. "Thank you." Hanatarou blushed from the praise, but oddly he felt cold… freezing cold...

"Trickery will only get you so far…" said a voice behind Hana, making him jump. "You shouldn't give him so much praise Momo. It will go to his head…" said the white haired boy.

Hanatarou turned round to see a thick mist enter the room. It cleared rapidly from a strong blast of captain level reiatsu, revealing the new guest. "H-hitsugaya taicho!" exclaimed Hana.

Toshiro glared at Hanatarou, almost sending him to another faint. "Stop that shivering." He hissed. "Or do you want to shame your defeated opponents even more by your cowardice?" A cold wisp of air flew around Hana's neck. The lieutenants were still too shocked about Hitsugaya's attitude to say anything.

"S-s-sumim-m-masen" gulped Hana, backing away.

"What… are… you… doing…?" Toshiro growled and his eyes glowed fiercely. "Are you deliberately mocking me, Yamada…? How pathetically disgusting. Stop acting like a coward!"

"Why don't you pick on someone your own size… if you can find one." Asked a voice above Hana and Toshiro. They looked up to see Kuukaku standing between them. With her flaming aura, a condensation formed on the walls against the cold of the ice captain. "Wait your turn, kid." She grinned as Toshiro just managed to control his wrath. "Or do you want to lose to him by a mere technicality?"

"Kuu-kuukaku-sensei?" gulped Hana, half fearing that the two would fight.

"Sh-shiro-chan!" spoke Momo finally, her eyes pleading him to stop. Kira and Usagi backed off and kept silent.

Toshiro sighed and walked away from Hana. "Fine, I'll leave him alone… for now… It was just a quick chat." He said coolly. "I really only came here to see how Hinamori was doing. And to tell her something…" and he slowly walked over to her bedside.

Kuukaku arched an eyebrow. "And what would that be, kid?"

"I'd tell her…" said Toshiro, turning to his childhood friend. "Hinamori-chan. That one who cut your hair, and left you in such a state, I cannot forgive him." Hinamori looked up to see his frightening, vengeful eyes. "When the time comes… I will crush him."

"When the time comes and not in my ward if you please, Hitsugaya-taicho…" said captain Unohana, appearing right behind him. She put a hand on his shoulder and gently clasped it. "Please leave quietly. You are disturbing my… _patience_…"

Toshiro looked at Unohana in a strange confused fear, not quite sure how to respond to her threat as he himself was also a captain. But from rumor and experience, he knew he did not wish to test her. "I'll go then…" sighed the boy. He waved to everyone. "I'll visit you later Hinamori-san. Get some rest!" Then he took a quick glance at Hanatarou. "I'll see you in ten days, Yamada." And he shuunpoed away.

After a short silence, Hanatarou almost choked on his own breath. "Ten days?" He looked back and forth to Unohana and Kuukaku. "Wait! D-does that mean that…?"

"Yes, he will be your next opponent Hanatarou-kun." Nodded Unohana. She put a calming hand on his shoulder, and Hana strengthened his nerves to do her proud. "Your first task against a captain will be against Hitsugaya Toshiro, the child genius."

…

"Well you _were_ releasing as much reiatsu as Hitsugaya Taicho, Kuukaku-san." Said Isane defensively. They walked away from the 4th division center in a mild hurry to resume Hanatarou's training. "Unohana-taicho can't be biased against Hitsugaya-taicho in these matters."

"Yeah, yeah, but she didn't have to give me such a harsh killing intent!" grumbled Kuukaku, rubbing her shivering arm. "A simple 'please leave' would have sufficed!"

Both women looked down to Hanatarou, waiting for him to decide who was right. But the shy shinigami simply tried to pretend he didn't notice to save himself from the terrible responsibility.

"S-s-so where will you be staying Kuukaku-sensei?" asked Hana, changing the topic.

"Don't you mean where will _we_ be staying? Right Hana-chan?" smiled Kuukaku. She patted his shoulder affectionately.

"Where we'll _all_ be staying!" added Isane. She patted Kuukaku's shoulder un-affectionately.

The Shiba matriarch growled then composed herself. "Yeah, Ganju and my servants are setting up my house as we speak." She sighed.

"But where?" Isane and Hanatarou both asked.

"Well…" chuckled Kuukaku, getting back into her girly character "I had a little talk with Rangiku-san…"

…

Hitsugaya Toshiro was choking on his own spit.

At his lieutenant's residence… inexplicably close to the tenth division headquarters, two giant arms had been erected on the lawn, making the sign of a love heart. Many had come to visit and take pictures next to the new monument. Several 11th division hoodlums ad come round and were laughing their lungs out with pointed finger at the embarrassed 10th division members.

"Yamada Hanatarou…" Toshiro said, aghast. "You… will… pay… for… this…!"

"Taicho! Quick! Come take a picture with us!"

"MATSUMOTO!"

...

**Shinigami Cup! GOLDEN!**

…

"HANATAROU WON?" gasped the heroes in the human world. Ichigo's eyes almost burst from his head. Inoue hid some paper hats and streamers behind her back, feeling it was not quite yet time to celebrate.

"Against Hinamori-san, Kira-san **and** Hisagi-san?" gasped Rukia. "Impossible!"

"Yes, I'm quite surprised myself." Agreed Urahara, rubbing his stubbly chin. "This is quite problematic."

"Eh? What do you mean?" asked Ichigo, bewildered. "He won! Winning is a good thing right?"

"Not if it means you need to fight against captains next, Kurosaki." Said the stoic Ishida while fixing his glasses. "Baka…" he added under his breathe. Ichigo glared. Inoue put the party crackers away.

"Quite right, he will be fighting Toshiro-kun in ten days." Said Urahara, reading a note sent by Yoruichi.

"A fight? Against Toshiro? But Hanatarou doesn't stand a chance without our help!" exclaimed Ichigo. "Urahara-san! Please! Can't we use the gate yet?"

"Not if you want to arrive in Seireitei in five or six different pieces." Commented the storekeeper. "Anyway, there is still hope for Hanatarou-kun yet! You see; it's not a fight involving swords this time!"

"You mean it's hand to hand?"

"Close…" and he read aloud the proclamation. "'_In ten days time, 4__th__ division, 7__th__ seat Yamada Hanatarou, leader of the 14__th__ advanced relief squad, will proceed to the fourth task against 10__th__ division captain, Hitsugaya Toshiro in the traditional combat rules of…!'" _said Urahara, waving fan. "_SUMO WRESTLING_!"

(All together) **"WHAT?"**

...

**Author's Notes:**

**Sorry about the lateness of the update, but college is building up it's crescendo. Yes! Hana will face off Toshiro in a sumo wrestling match! Ha! I bet you never saw that one coming! But how will Hana ever be able to best a captain with his bare hands? What insane training method will be suggested? Is their more antagonism in store between Hanatarou and the cold captain? Find out in the next thrilling chapter!**

**TheOptimisticPessimist: Thanks for the constructive criticism. I'll see if I can throw in a small token scene for your fav pairing ;)**

**La Romanesque: Thanks for the constructive crit, I'll try to keep an eye on my grammar more, but I'm an art student :P I tried to think of a way Hana could defeat Momo without using pure strength and skill, but the hair cutting seemed most appropriate (And I could throw in the Kuukaku firework as well)**

**And thanks in general for all the great responses on the fight scene! They are things I like writing the most :D  
**


	8. Love for Sumo Part1

**Alternate fic between the Bount filler and the introduction of the Vaizard and Arrancar. No pairing yet determined. **

…

"I have not seen Unohana-taicho for a while now, Isane-fukutaicho." Commented Hana to his superior. "I-I haven't spoken to her since before the last task. N-not that I want to be a bother to her or anything…"

"No, it's alright Yamada-kun." Said Isane. "I am also pretty worried. I thought she would have spent more time to talk to you after the match. But I guess she must have been preoccupied with something…"

She risked a quick glance at Kuukaku, who was waiting at the door. Secretly, she wanted to blame it all on that scheming woman, though she couldn't justify her antagonism. A jealousy and curiosity vexed her as she waited to see what the Shiba matriarch had next in store for Hana. She imagined Ganju would appear any second, out of nowhere more likely than not, with wheelbarrows of food to stuff the 7th seat silly.

"By the way, do you know where Ganju-san went?" asked Hana, coincidently.

"I'm not sure. He left after he helped set up the Kuukaku house."

"I sent him away." Said Kuukaku, still watching for visitors. "The next phase in Hana's training is not suitable for him to be of any help."

"But-but I thought Ganju would be the perfect one to teach Hana sumo?" said Isane. "He resembles more of one than us at least." She easily pictured the block built, square jawed Ganju in sumo gear teaching Hana the tricks to the noble art of pushing fat people. She tried to picture herself or Kuukaku in the role and disturbed herself.

"No, that won't work. He's too big to represent Hitsugaya, and his strength is far too small." said Kuukaku, ever so slightly snapping back at Isane. "So I got a few people round who specialize in hand-to-hand fighting to help out. And one of them… almost crushed that Hitsugaya to death…"

"What? Hitsugaya taicho was almost crushed to death? By who?" asked Hana and Isane together. To answer them, Kuukaku opened the door.

"Hello-oo!" cheered Matsumoto Rangiku, the 10th division lieutenant, serving under (though usually over/on top of) captain Hitsugaya. The busty strawberry blonde bounced in with smiles and sake. "I hope you guys aren't too cramped in my back-yard?"

"No, it's all quite fine Rangiku-san!" said Isane. "B-but… _You_ almost killed your own taicho? Why? How?"

"Hot spring incident." Smiled Matsumoto. "I'll be glad to fill you out on the details later."

"Nice to see you again Kuukaku!" said another voice at the door. "My, my! Aren't you dressed up?"

"Glad to see you made it Yoruichi, and thankyou." replied Kuukaku. The two old friends shook hands. "How is the gate problem going in the real world?"

"Urahara can't quite get it open enough for the kids to get through, but I managed it in cat form, but barely." Said the purple haired and dark skinned woman. She rubbed a bruised shoulder. "I'd give them another month or so before the gate is hundred-percent safe for travel."

"Y-yoruichi-san as well?" gawked Isane, wondering what the hell Kuukaku had planned.

"You mean Ichigo-san, Rukia-san and the others are coming too?" asked Hanatarou excitedly.

"They wouldn't want to miss this for the world." Said Yuroichi. "And I'm here to make sure you're still around till they arrive, Yamada Hanatarou."

"As am I." said a third visitor. Kurotsuchi Nemu, lieutenant of the scientific 12th division, bowed politely in the door frame. "I am glad to be of service."

"Nemu?" gaped Isane. "You too?"

"When I heard Kuukaku-san was summoning able hand-to-hand fighters I decided to prescribe myself."

"You mean volunteer?"

"Yes… I think that would also be a suitable term." Nodded Nemu. "I was also asked to help by my captain, my father Kurotsuchi Myuri, who is a growing amused by Hanatarou's growth and wants to study how he will combat the other captains." (The word 'Kurotsuchi' and 'study' were rarely said without a cold chill) "And also, by one of my subordinates, a friend of Yamada, who regretfully cannot make it here due to urgent projects. Tsubokura Rin-san."

"Ah! Rin-san! I haven't seen him since we went to the real world!" said Hanatarou.

"Ah yes, you escorted him to study the area." Remembered Isane.

"We learned how to make cream cakes with Yumichika-san." Said Hana gleefully. Only Isane seemed to notice the innuendo. Hana then looked around at the women to appraise the situation and felt outnumbered, embarrassed and confused. (Not that it was any different than what he normally felt, but still…) "Why so many people Kuukaku-san?"

Kuukaku sighed and patted Hana's shoulder. "Alas, I cannot train you personally this time Hana-kun, I can only supervise." She wiggled her prosthetic arm. "So you will be training against Rangiku and Nemu, and if you advance far enough, Yoruichi-san. You will fight Nemu first while Rangiku and Yorouichi demonstrate the moves."

"B-but isn't this a little… um…" mumbled Isane. "Inappropriate?"

"In what way?" asked Yorouichi, who only had an elementary understanding of the word.

"Well, wouldn't Hana be more comfortable training against other men rather than women?" Isane then realized (by coincidence or cruel fate) that the four biggest busts in Seireitei had gathered in one room, with Hana backed in one corner, already well aware of the fact.

"To be of any use, the man must be of lieutenant level reiatsu. Yumichika and Ikkaku flatly refused, Renji is afraid of Byakuya and the others… belong to the Shinigami Men's Association…" she trailed off darkly.

Isane understood and bowed her head. There was no way any member of the Shinigami Men's association would help Yamada, while knowingly cooperating with the Women's Association, especially not after the women had forced the men to move their meetings to the lavatories.

"Finding a suitable double of Hitsugaya was and remains our main obstacle." Continued Kuukaku. "We'll have to settle for Nemu's versatility, Matsumoto's exclusive knowledge of Hitsugaya, and Yorouichi's unrivaled experience in un-armed combat. It's really impossible to find anyone of Hitsugaya's build _and_ power"

"Almost correct Kuukaku-san." Butted in Nemu. "There is one other captain that somewhat closely matches the physical height and power of Hitsugaya-taicho."

"No Nemu, it's still the same. Soifon cannot help us." Said Yorouichi. "A captain who is participating in an upcoming trial cannot help the contender in any way, those are the rules; though I'm sure she would have been glad to help if I asked."

"C-can _I_ be of any help?" asked Isane sheepishly.

"Well a healer is always good if Hanatarou is injured, so you can wait by the sidelines." Said Yorouichi. "But frankly, you are far too tall to represent Hitsugaya to help in the combat… Sorry." She also added at the end as Isane's lip began to tremble.

"Oh, Isane-san! Don't be so glum!" said Matsumoto, wrapping a warm arm around her friend. "You can be the important moral support for Hana-kun! You are his lieutenant after all! It will mean a lot to him."

"R-really?" blushed Isane.

"Really!" assured Rangiku.

"Rangiku-san!" called over Yoroichi. She was standing in the next door training room with Nemu and a nervous Hanatarou. Kuukaku was placing a barrier around the ring and blessing it with rice wine. "Hurry up, we need to start the lesson as soon as we can!"

"Oho! Let's go then!" said Matsumoto, and she pushed Isane in with them. "Don't worry! '_Sumo_' is my middle name! Really it is!"

…

"That Yamada… that worthless 7th seat… how I **hate** him…" scowled Soifon, jabbing her panned fingers into a thick tree. The trunk was littered with holes. "Stealing all that precious time from Yorouichi-sama! All that time she could have spent with **me**!" The tree is felled with another powerful jab. She turned to the next tree.

Pulling back her arm, she let it go, hitting the tree in three successions, so quick that it looked like only one jab. The bark creaked, gave a puff of dust, then its insides exploded with three arm thick holes.

"Just you wait till it's my turn Yamada!" sneered Soifon, moving to her 300th tree. "I'll make sure you'll pay for wasting Yorouichi-sama's divine attention! You will pay! **YOU WILL PAY**!" she sliced the tree in half and kicked the top end towards Seireitei… "**Yamada Hanatarou! Your head is mine**!"

…

2nd division lieutenant Omaeda scrambled up after the tree burst on his face and decided now was not the time to disturb his captain.

…

"That Hanatarou…" cackled Kenpachi. He took another long swig of sake and recalled again the battle between Hana and the three lieutenants with fondness. "He really took me by surprise! He may have been pulled a few tricks, but that fighting spirit is in there somewhere! Behind that scared look there is something waiting to come out… Hahaha! I hope he gets through to face me!"

"Don't worry Ken-chan!" smiled Yachiru cutely. "The shinigami Women's association will make sure he's strong enough so he won't get killed in one hit! I promise!"

"Don't be stupid Yachiru, I'll just be glad if he can scratch me. But that would be most splendid." Laughed Kenpachi. "If such a shinigami exists, who can survive the full brunt of one of my attacks, I will be happy just to cut off only one of his limbs!"

"Yay!"

…

Byakuya confined himself to his office, practicing with an expensive calligraphy brush and ornamental paper. He was in a foul mood. Distantly he could hear the murmur of Hanatarou's name and he gripped his pen ever so slightly more maliciously. The 'Go Hana Go' flags accidentally left behind by Rikichi didn't improve his ill feelings towards his newest, meekest nemesis.

"That pathetic shinigami…" he muttered, stroking the paper with grace. "He will not succeed… he must not succeed…" he spoke with each gentle yet firm brush. "I must do my duty as a captain… my duty as a shinigami…" he delivered a final stroke across the page with the motion of a slicing sword. "I must destroy him…that pride-less waste…"

…

"He is doing his name proud, as well upholding the honor he has to serve in Soul Society." Said captain Komomaru proudly, looking at the newest "Hana-forever" poster on the wall with his fierce, loyal dog eyes. "It will be a privilege to face him. And I too will show him the dignity of my title. I look forward to it… GO HANA!"

…

Jushiro and Shuunsui sat together at the 13th division headquarters, sipping some freshly squeezed orange juice on account for Jushiro's illness. Ise Nanao, Shuunsui's lieutenant, was also there, returning beside her captain after throwing out Jushiro's excitable vice-vice captains.

"But Ise-san!" pleaded Jushiro again. "Why won't you let the Men's Association help out Hanatarou-kun? He_ is_ a man after all! That falls into our responsibility!"

"The Women's Association is capable of handling this alone, Ukitake-taicho." Replied Nanao. She shifted her glasses ever so slightly, and almost made Jushiro wet his pants. "The Men's Association have so far only proven themselves to be incompetent in every endeavor apart from toilet cleaning."

"But Nanao-chan!" pouted Shuunsui. He is hit with a folder. "Ow!"

"No!" snapped Nanao. "You need to get to work! And chairman Juushiro of the Men's Association…"

"Uh? Yes?" asked Juushiro.

"From what we know of you, wouldn't YOU be the one most likely to side with Hitsugaya? Your fellow 'shiro' (white hair)?" and she provided pictures of Ukitake's many gifts as self appointed 'godfather' to Toshiro; mountains of candy, toys and shonen-jump. "Also, you are still to take part in a competition, so you are to with-hold helping Hanatarou!"

"B-b-but Soifon is part of the Women's Association!" he reasoned.

"Ukitake… Are you trying to argue… with _me_…?" she asked sinisterly.

"No." he replied, hiding behind Shuunsui.

"Good." She nodded, and she brought out another piece of paper on her itinerary. "But there is another matter I wish to discuss with you, chairman Ukitake."

"Yes?"

"The SSS…" she said, grimly. "They are on the move…"

"The SSS?" asked Shunsui.

"They are another association." replied Jushiro seriously, "Working outside and we fear _inside_ the Men's and Women's associations. They are highly secretive, and the only lead we have on them is the name 'SSS'. And you say they are on the move, Ise-san?"

"Yes." She nodded again. "The strange compressed, shortened reiatsu waves we detected when we discovered the name was felt both in Seireitei and also in the real world."

"As far as that?" gasped Juushiro. "Their networking is wider and bolder than we previously thought."

"Are they dangerous?" asked Shuunsui.

"No, just very annoying…" said Nanao. "They overturn decisions by influencing both the women's and men's associations. They must be stopped. However, president Yachiru is too pre-occupied with lollipops to provide me with ay support in this mission. And now we have a name to the next project on their agenda…"

"Hanatarou?" gasped Ukitake.

Ise shifted her glasses "Hanatarou..."

…

In the dark, weird and living headquarters of the 12thdivision technology department, a small topknot wiggled on the head of a small shinigami, working hard at the keys and other paraphernalia of his desk on an urgent project…

"How is your work coming along brat?" asked a sinister voice behind Rin.

"Ah!" exclaimed the startled scientist. He looked behind to see the familiar dark face of- "Kurotsuchi-taicho! The blueprints are almost finished."

Kurotsuchi Myuri looked at the screen. "Hmm, a little too stylized for my tastes." He frowned.

"But it would be inappropriate for him to wear something more to our style," replied Rin. "Not only for censorship, but also so you don't get found out to be helping him."

"Shh!" snapped Myuri angrily. "The walls have ears! I sewed them on yesterday."

"Sorry." Apologized Rin.

"Now, let's see how Nemu is going along, and what your friend Hanatarou is up to? Shall we?" he whispered quietly.

"Yes sir." Obeyed Rin, and he punched up Nemu's eye-cam on the big screen. "Here it is."

It was fuzzy for a moment, before the reception adjusted with some dial turns. In view was Hanatarou, struggling as he tried to push back Nemu, sweat on his forehead and his arms buckling from the strain… his face, just above Nemu's cleavage, red with embarrassment…

…

"Is this the strength that defeated three lieutenants?" asked Nemu. "This is most confusing." She gave her push a bit more strength and forced Hanatarou onto his back. "Very confusing."

"No, no!" whined Matsumoto. "Nemu, you have it all wrong! Taicho is much shorter than that, you'll have to squat!"

"Hanatarou! You need to use_ leverage_ and strength!" said Yorouichi. "We'll demonstrate it again. Stance Rangiku-san."

"Hai." And the two women demonstrated the use of leverage and strength to wrestle strenuously, wriggling against each other with chest against chest.

"Rangiku-san, Yorouichi-san." Interrupted the stoic Nemu. "Hanatarou-kun seems to be bleeding from the nose."

"I-I'll give him emergency treatment!" said Isane, striding over_. 'Finally something to do!'_

"There's no need for that!" retorted Kuukaku, following behind with some cushions. "All he needs is a little rest! Just a quick snooze on my lap and he'll be fine!"

"You two are overreacting!" sighed Yorouichi. "I've seen this plenty of times before. Get off him! You're making things worse!" Yorouichi joined the scramble of women around Hanatarou, while Matsumoto joined in so she wouldn't be left out. The attention, though well meant, didn't help his bleeding at all, at all…

…

Rin and Myuri, back at the observation chamber, watched the scene with slackened jaws. They starred with uncompromising attention at the bounciness, till the screen was all but obscured by shadowy, round melon sized shapes, bustling together. The reception was disrupted and the screen shut itself down.

"Well! I see everything is going as well as could be expected. Ahem. I admire your choice of friends, Tsubokura." Coughed Myuri. Rin was still sitting there, bombshell-shocked. "I'll get Nemu to sample some of that delicious fear from Yamada. Hmm, yes. Carry on!" and he left the lab to pick up some choice adrenaline to complement a 7th seat's terror.

…

"What the hell have I done?" sighed commander general Yamamoto, watching the Hanatarou banners fly up all over Seireitei. "By God! What have I created?"

…

Hitsugaya was not alarmed at the prospect of facing Hanatarou, but he was growing impatient. Not only did he want to finish this ridiculous twelve-trials business, he also wanted to get him back for Hinamori… and for his lieutenant, Matsumoto. With Rangiku helping Hanatarou, the pile of tenth division paper-work had doubled its usual size in the past three days. True, she didn't do much work to begin with, but now there was simply no work done at all, so it all fell of poor Toshiro's shoulders. And though he didn't like to admit it… he was getting a bit lonely too.

As Rukia would put it; _'He was not a happy chappy'_…

Really, being a captain, Hitsugaya should have been a little more intuitive to the situation. The door was unlocked. The passage way was dark and unguarded. He could not sense any reiatsu, and there was not a sound to be heard. He should have been more cautious…

"Matsumoto? Where are you?" he called out as he opened the door to the training room. He walked in… like a lamb to the slaughter…

"You see, Toshiro is incredibly light, thanks to his stature." Said Yorouichi as the lights flicked back on. Before Hitsugaya could finish shouting in alarm, she picked him up by his armpits and weighed him like a baby. "Even less than 40kg I'd say."

"Even I can lift him." Added Nemu, and she took him off Yorouichi's hands and began to toss him in the air. "His weight is unsubstantial."

"Wh-what? What are you doing?" yelped Toshiro. Nemu dropped him to his feet. "What's going on?"

"Just a little demonstration Taicho. To show Hana-kun why he doesn't have to get fat to be a sumo!" Said Matsumoto in a deep and challenging voice. Toshiro looked up in horror to see his busty vice-captain wearing a sumo loin-cloth and matching bra. "Now prepare yourself!"

"What the h-… Hey! NO!" he cried out as Yoroichi and Kuukaku quickly took his sword and captain's robe and pushed him into the ring. "What are you doing?"

"Here I come!" sang Rangiku, sumo stepping her way towards the petrified boy. "Banzai!"

Toshiro, through years of experience, had become used to her constant harassment. However, this time, for some strange reason; he feared for his life! "Gah!" he grunted, taking the full force of Matsumoto's charge with his little body. He grappled on, due to a lack of immediate options, in traditional sumo technique, but he was overwhelmed by the weight of her reiatsu, and the smothering effect of her cleavage. "MMMmmmmph!"

"You see Hana-kun." Said Kuukaku to Hanatarou. The two 4th division members were watching the scene with mixed horror and intrigue "When your opponent is smaller than you, you can use size and weight to your advantage… however…" and then they felt a chill in the air. "It means nothing if you do not have the strength…"

Under Matsumoto, Hitsugaya, on the verge of suffocation, had brought his reiatsu to his full potential, forcing her off him with a blast of blue and white spiritual energy. Toshiro was screaming aloud, his arms by his sides like super-saiyan Goku. The whole structure shook and the Kuukaku Arms above began to sway. The floor began to ice up, the walls were frosting over. The figure of a dragon appeared behind the powerful captain's form, pulsating with rage!

Matsumoto, in a less than awe-inspiring manner, ran in again and pinned him to the ground with her boobs. He struggled and kicked for a few seconds before he stopped moving altogether. The room returned to normal.

"But with enough technique, you don't need to match your opponents strength." Continued Kuukaku. "As Rangiku-san just excellently demonstrated. Good job!"

"Phew! That was close!" said Rangiku, dusting off her hands. "He isn't my taicho for nothing! What a workout!" she tried to help Toshiro back on his feet, but his body was limp and motionless. "TAICHO?!?!"

"He's stopped breathing!" exclaimed Hana and Isane together, and they sprinted over to his side...

…

Slowly, the boy's eyes fluttered awake as breath returned to him. Toshiro woke up, gasping for air, sitting up with Hanatarou and Matsumoto either side of him, with the latter in tears. "What happened? M-matsumoto?" and he coughed again as she hugged him.

"Oh Taicho! I'm so sorry!" she sobbed, rocking him back and forth, careful to put his head on her shoulder above her bosoms. "I almost killed you with the two trophies of my womanhood… again!"

"Oh…" muttered Hitsugaya, remembering what had happened. "Well you can stop crying now, I'm alright!" he snapped, pushing her off. He chilled his cheeks to hide his blush. Composing himself in front of the bystanders, he took his sword and coat back from Nemu with a rough snatch. "I don't want to hear about this ever again, understood? From _anyone_ of you!" and he gave especially malicious glances to Matsumoto _and_ Hanatarou.

"Our lips are sealed." Everyone agreed. Matsumoto crossed her fingers. Grumbling and feeling violated, Toshiro left the room… but not quickly enough…

"Thank you Hanatarou-kun for teaching me how to do mouth-to-mouth!" bowed Rangiku, purposely loud enough for her captain to hear. Hitsugaya's feet could be heard as they staggered to a halt. "He's alive thanks to your knowledge."

"Oh, i-it was no trouble at all!" blushed Hana, and they all had a bit of a laugh.

…

Toshiro stormed out, angry and humiliated. His usual calm composure was broken apart due to a string of unusual circumstances. '_That Yamada! He's a dead man! I am going to crush him! I am going to break him! I am going to KILL him!' _

…

As the door to the outside slammed shut, Matsumoto bent over herself and giggled. "Just wait till I tell him that _you_ were the one who gave him mouth-to-mouth!"

"U-uh-uh, do you think that would be wise R-rangiku-san?" stammered Hanatarou.

"No, but it will be very entertaining!" she burst into tears of bliss.

"W-was that really all necessary though?" asked Isane, sharing her subordinate's concern.

"Well he certainly won't be interrupting us down here again." Noted Yorouichi. "If it works, it works. Now let's get back to training! Hanatarou! Nemu! Into position!"

…

3rd seat Yasochika Iemura of the 4th division had kept a low profile since the beginning of the Hanatarou incident. Feeling more or less responsible for getting Hanatarou into the situation, he avoided Unohana like the plague (ironic). But more out of concern than duty, he felt compelled to listen to his subordinates and to go and check on her situation, locked up in her office and refusing all visitors.

"U-unohana-taicho?" asked Iemura. He knocked on the door and waited. "Taicho? Are you alright?" he knocked again, a little anxious for _his_ own safety. _'Is she even there?' _he wondered._ 'Yes, she is, I can sense her reiatsu. But that's strange… she has the sound proofing on? Is she talking to someone? Dammit! Should I force the door or not? It's so unlike her to do this. But if I break down the door, who knows how she will react? She might…'_

"Disembowel you then hang your head below your ribcage to make a nice pendulum clock." Said a voice behind him.

"Ogidou…" growled Iemura. He had drawn his sword out and struck at the 8th seat. "Instead of being a nuisance, why don't you get back to your duties?"

"I would if I had any." Sighed Ogidou. He had caught the sword easily with the palms of his hands. "But captain has been locked in there for a while now, so I've nothing to do." He let Iemura's sword go and the 3rd seat reluctantly sheathed it away. "Do you know what's wrong?"

"Hmm… well…" thought Iemura, fixing his glasses. "Unohana-taicho is a strong-… is _the_ strongest woman I have ever known."

"Well, obviously! Because you don't meet many women, do you?" Smirked Ogidou, who was quite popular with the 4th division ladies. Iemura tried to decapitate him, but he stepped back.

"Anyway…" grumbled Iemura again. "It's none of our business. I'm sure she has her reasons. Now go away and find something for yourself to do, before I do it for you!"

"Hmph. Alright!" the 8th seat shrugged and walked away. Iemura, sulkily, went the opposite direction… then turned back round when he found it was a dead end. "Lost are we senpai?"

"Shut-up!"

…

"Hanatarou-kun… I'm so sorry…" said Unohana softly. She sat at her desk, her hair undone and untidy around her face. Her sword lay on its side, unsheathed and on the table. The blade was bathed in her tears.

Two empty bottles of sake were broken on the door. She had not drunk or eaten anything else the past two days. There Unohana wept alone, imprisoned by herself, locked away to let out the pain she felt on the inside. She needed to let it out, so she could feel the pain on the outside. Because wounds on the outside were the wounds she knew how to heal…

"I tried to do what was best, to… to help you…" she cried with her hands trembling by her side. Cuts were up and down her arms, untreated and freshly cut. Blood dripped off her fingertips and pooled on the floor. "I wanted to help, but I failed, I just made things worse, everything so much worse for you… I don't deserve to be your superior. I don't deserve your respect. I don't even deserve to talk to you. I'm sorry Hanatarou-kun…" she winced with the pain. "For being such a horrible captain…"

...

**Author's Notes:**

**Oho! The SSS? What can _that_ stand for? What are Myuri and Rin preparing for Hana? And Unohana-taicho cutting herself? Longest chapter so far, though I hope not too long for you guys! Stay tuned for the next chapter of _'The 12 tasks of Hanatarou'_!**

**SSS possible meanings thought up by Juushiro and Nanao.**** Oh, what can it possibly stand for?**

**Shinigami Super Society  
Silly Sausages of Seireitei  
Secret Society of Shinigami  
Shinigami who Suck at Stuff  
Shinigami Society of Shinobi  
Shinigami Shooting Society  
**

**Why don't you have a try?**

**Izumey: Thanks for the review! I saw the cat thing, but I'm having trouble figuring out what the other one/two was. I'll probably avoid the talk with his zampukuto mainly because I fear he might pull something off in the manga soon that might completely derail the 'accuracy' of the fanfic.**

**PennyArcadeFan2****: No, I wasn't smoking (I used to have asthma when I was smaller). It may have been the dark-chocolate or otherwise the salmon in my sushi was a bit dodgy.**

**TheOptimisticPessimist****: I have several ideas for costumes, and they'll be mentioned primarily in the next chapter along with your other suggestion in your previous review ;D**

**jster1983: true, Byakuya is pretty stupid when it comes to looking after his sister, but he is a strong and intelligent fighter; much too strong for Hana to fight in battle. He is one of the last three tasks.**

**GirlLoki: Yeah, I know about the Muwashi and the padded suits, and though the others will try to force the two competitors to wear them, they will both wear something else quite different :D**

**And thanks to all the other encouraging reviews! **

**Happy Writings!**


	9. Love for Sumo Part2 2nd Task

**Alternate fic between the Bount filler and the introduction of the Vaizard and Arrancar. No pairing yet determined. **

* * *

Hitsugaya Toshiro was in a foul mood… again.

Everyone in Seireitei knew something was wrong when the small snow drifts started piling around his home and office. His attitude didn't improve when he had to call in plumbers to unfreeze his bathroom. Every member of the tenth division avoided his path like the plague, except a certain tenth division lieutenant, who wasn't even there to begin with.

Hitsugaya Toshiro wasn't going to have it any longer…

* * *

"Eiiieeeh?" whined Matsumoto in shock. "A TRANSFER?"

"I'm afraid so." Said Ise Nanao, handing her the papers signed by Hitsugaya. "For gross dereliction of duty." _'Though I'm actually surprised it didn't come sooner.'_

"B-but! B-b-but!" stammered Rangiku. "I haven't done any less work than I usually do!"

"You mean, _none_."

"Yeah!"

"I-is it because you're helping me Rangiku-san?" asked Hanatarou apologetically (possibly the only being able to do so). "If it is, then I'll go talk to Hitsugaya-taicho and explain everything was my fault and that I-"

"Oh, that's so chivalrous of you Hana-kun!" sighed Matsumoto. She was about to give him a hug, but after a quick glance at a nervous Isane and murderous Kuukaku, decided to restrain herself. "But I think my taicho just needs some time to cool down that anger of his. You just worry about your training and I'll go sort my own issues out." They waved goodbye and Matsumoto departed with Nanao to find a new position in another division.

"Well she did her part anyway," nodded Yoruichi. "She gave us the valuable information on Hitsugaya. Nemu and I will continue the sparring so there will not be any interruption to the training."

Hanatarou was glad Matsumoto left not only so he wouldn't be a burden to her, but also because out of all his sparring partners she seemed the most likely one to suffocate him. Still, Nemu and Yoruichi weren't that much better when it came to modest chest movements.

"Excuse me, but…" spoke Isane humbly. "I'm not sure if this sparring is really having any effect. I do not think Hana-kun has really gotten any stronger or more skilled since we began training."

"Nonsense, his dodge must have grown twice as fast." said Yoruichi. To demonstrate, she shunpoed behind Hanatarou in less than a blink. Sensing immediate danger from her bosom, Hana yelped and scampered away just before she could grab him. "See! I'd need two steps to catch him now. Most seated officers can't manage that sort of evasive technique."

"Yes, but Hitsugaya is a captain," Said Kuukaku, comforting Hanatarou with small pats on his shoulder as he breathed rapidly from the burst of speed. "And as far as strength is concerned, we still haven't broken the third seat barrier."

"The difference between lieutenant and captain is about 20 times." Said Yoruichi. "While from third to second seat is only up to 10 times difference, it is still quite a power gap for anyone to accomplish. I know of only few individuals capable of progressing at such a rate… one I hope we can get into contact with soon."

"Not that it will be much help." Said Nemu.

"Oh, why?"

"The trial is today." She said blatantly. Hana gave a small whimper.

"Oh, we still have two hours. And Hana can just take another recovery pill anyway."

"There IS a way to overdose on them you know?" pointed Isane protectively.

"Yeah, you're right, we better save them for the match. Good thinking Isane."

"So what are we supposed to do until the match starts?" asked Kuukaku. "We can't expect him to tire himself with last minute exercise or anything."

"How about meditation?" asked Isane sensibly. "It will help to ease his mind and to sharpen his focus."

"Ease his mind?" thought Yoruichi. Then she clicked her fingers with a brilliant idea. "I know! How about we give him a pre-match massage?" Isane almost screamed when the mental image hit her.

"Dibs on his back and torso." Said Kuukaku with her arm up, possibly to deliberately jiggle what she was planning to massage him with. Isane muffled a scream.

"I shall go oil myself." Said Nemu, and she walked off to the shower.

"You mean your hands… right?"

"…" Nemu paused. "Yes… my hands will be oiled also..." she closed the door of the room. Those outside could hear the distinct drop of her clothing quite clearly through the thin walls. _Then_ Isane screamed.

* * *

Isane's worry, though well founded, was not necessary. For brave Hanatarou had already escaped as soon as Yoruichi mentioned the word 'massage'. That and when he saw the gleam in Kuukaku's eyes that made him feel like a mouse under a waiting owl. He headed to the arena. Hopefully they wouldn't think he would try to hide _there_.

Even two hours away, there was a crowd already outside the arena. No. Crowd was probably the wrong word. The whole population of Seireitei would probably be a better description.

"Ah, Yamada Hanatarou." Said a special ops member walking to him. Hana gave a polite yelp in reply. "You are early. Let us escort you to your locker room."

"Uh, thankyou." Nodded Hanatarou, and he followed behind them. It was in vain.

The shinigami women's association had the fight so well hyped, that even Hitsugaya's epic fanbase was rivaled by the newcomer. As soon as they saw Hana, the surge of women that leapt out overpowered the special corps and rudely barged an unlucky Byakuya, who was just passing by. The sheer weight of numbers and the shrill shrieking even made Kenpachi flinch.

"Good luck Hana-chan!"

"Throw Hitsugaya at me Hana-kun!"

"Get _thrown_ at me Hana-kun!"

"_Both_ of you fall on me Hana-chan!"

"Kiss me Hanatarou-kun!"

"Are you going to wear a muwashi? Kawaii!"

"Is _Toshhiro-chan_ going to wear a muwashi?"

There was an ever so brief silence.

"AAAEEEEEIIIIIII!"

The horde got three steps away from crushing the challenger before the fight even took place, but that was as far as they got. Hanatarou raised his sweaty trembling palms in sumo stance. "I-I'm so sorry, but I have to get through!" whimpered Hana out loud, then he went to action. What came next put Soifon's special ops to shame.

Women to the left, women to the right and on occasion… women in the air. Using his new pushing technique, Hana twirled, shoved, dodged and wailed his way through the swarm all the way to the door…

* * *

Hitsugaya was depressed.

He sat down on the dohyo (sumo ring) and surveyed the many hundreds of seats in the darkness. Soon he would have to face Hanatarou in a fight for pride. And it was depressing.

Not only was it a waste of his time, but the whole debacle had brought out a childish side of him that he thought he had suppressed long ago. He was way too overprotective of Hinamori, unbearably spiteful to Hanatarou, incredibly harsh on Matsumoto and now he had even restricted his entire division from watching the match, lest they completely loose respect for him when he inevitably has to don the over ventilated muwashi. He was acting like a kid.

He took a stroll. He dipped his hand in the ceremonial rice and let it spill between his fingers. This was ridiculous. There he was, over a hundred years old and he was still acting so immature. Matsumoto came to his mind, but he decided to attribute that to her alcohol consumption than her age mentality. This wasn't personal and it never was intended to be personal. He was letting his pride cloud his judgment.

He inspected the rice wine and the water barrels. Poor Hanatarou. Now he began to consider his plight more sympathetically. It was doomed from the start, just as Byakuya had predicted. Hitsugaya was one of the witnesses to the construction of the twelve tasks itinerary, so he knew what challenges laid before the 7th seat. Some were quite amusing to picture in his mind; not that there would be a chance for Hana to ever face them. He picked up a pork-bun from the snack stand and munched on it.

He walked towards the entrance, hearing the crowd getting excited outside. No, he couldn't be merciful to Hanatarou, that would be an insult to his peers, his title and to Hanatarou himself. They would fight, and he would overwhelm the timid shinigami as a captain should, but there would be no grudge. No, he would let go of his pride and perhaps even apologize to him. Yes, he would apologize for acting to viscous, and face him with respect, honor and dignity. That was the Shinigami way. Respect, honor and above all; dignity.

He rested on the door in thought.

He was still resting on the door when Hanatarou pushed it across the room, scattering the pork-buns, crashing through the water barrels, through the bottles of wine, decimating the ceremonial rice, bouncing off the dusty ring and bursting all over the opposite seats.

"Ah-…" gasped Hanatarou when he observed the mess he had created. "I th-think I'm in trouble…" He didn't notice Toshiro was in the stadium at first, but when the other side of the room turned into a giant block of ice he began to suspect it. It became so cold that Hana would have wet himself to keep warm if there weren't so many people watching behind him. "I-i-is that y-you Hitsug-g-gaya taicho?" he called quietly.

The ice shattered and Toshiro emerged… covered in pork bits, wine, rice, dirt and door.

"You…" he spoke darkly. Several seats exploded around him as the ice constricted and expanded the metal. "Are a dead man."

"S-s-sorry!" squeaked Hanatarou.

As the timid shinigami chased after the captain with all sorts of sincerest apologies blurting from his mouth, Kuchiki Byakuya stood in the shadows, watching. He looked at the broken entrance, and the trail of destruction left in the wake and considered it carefully. He then went to seek Yamamoto.

* * *

The drums sounded and the crowd was wild. Yamamoto and the other captains sat closest to the ring, along with special privileged shinigami and friends.

"Did you finish the item Rin?" asked Rikichi. The two of them sat next to Ganju in the 'Hana's best friend's' section.

"Yes, we're rather proud of it." Answered captain Mayuri Kurotsuchi before Rin could answer. He sat just beside his subordinate. "But hush on that, or I might get in trouble you brat!" and Rikichi shut himself up. "I do think it should give Hana the advantage he needs." He whispered slyly. His grin made Ganju shiver.

"How pathetic." Muttered Kenpachi, who sat beside Mayuri. "If you cannot rely on your own ability, what will you do when you are left on your own?"

"Oh shut up Zaraki. You wish to fight him when he gets stronger do you not? I'm just making sure he doesn't get killed outright. He has a long way to go you know?"

"You were a witness taicho?" asked Rin.

"Yes I was, and so was Zaraki, Hitsugaya, Soifon and Byakuya. We know the tasks that have been set. Yamamoto truly has some interesting ideas."

"Hmph." Sighed Kenpachi. "If he turns out to be a soft squishy disappointment then I'll blame you Kurotsuchi."

"Oh, he'll provide you with a challenge. Oh yes he will…" Assured Kurotsuchi with an evil gleam. "Especially after _I _finish with him! Ku-ku-ku!" Even Rin, who was used to his captain's 'taste' in science, couldn't help but twitch.

"I thought women weren't allowed to be near the ring?" said Ganju aloud. That cost him a lump on the head.

"Sshh! Or they might remember!" rasped Kuukaku. She sat between Ganju and Isane, the latter of whom was wondering where captain Unohana was.

"But if it's to be a proper sumo match, then shouldn't there be a lot more ceremonial paraphernalia?" argued Ganju, but submissively. "It's a bit fishy…"

Kuukaku thought about it. "I hate to admit it, but you're right. Is old Yama up to something? I wonder-?"

"Ooh! Made it just in time!" said a familiar voice, barging in between Isane and Kuukaku. Matsumoto pulled up with Hinamori in tow. "Did anyone bring refreshments?"

"Rangiku-san! And Hinamori-san, how are you feeling?" asked Isane.

"I'm fine, really." Smiled Hinamori. "Captain Unohana said I could watch the match."

"Ah, my taicho. Do you know where she is now?"

"Eh? I thought she would already be here?"

Isane's brow furrowed in worry. "I hope she's alright…" she sighed.

"What? Are you kidding?" laughed Matsumoto. "This is Retsu-san you are talking about! Even Shunsui and Juushiro are afraid of her! What could possibly happen that she can't handle?"

"Ah, you're right Rangiku-san." Smiled Isane. "I'm just being…" and then she noticed it. "Why are you wearing Hinamori's lieutenant sash?"

"Oh, I was transferred remember! To the 5th division!" she grinned. "And since Momo is still a little queezy, I have taken command of the entire division! Ohohoho!"

"That can't be good…" said Isane quietly, under Matsumoto's laugh.

"It isn't…" sighed Hinamori, who could spy members of her division dancing drunk on their seats all around the arena. "It isn't…"

The gong sounded and Yamamoto stood in the center ring and spoke to the silent crowd.

"And now it is time for the fourth of the twelve tasks. 4th Division's 7th seat Yamada Hanatarou will face 10th division captain Hitsugaya Toshiro in a…" and he deliberately paused. "… wrestling match." There was a mummer through the entire stadium, and several of the front row seats clenched in anxiety. "Yes. Since we have conceded women into the wrestling ring, since there has been request for special clothing and, most of all, since the destruction of the ceremonial equipment…" he sighed. "I have altered the rules to suit the situation. It is now… PRO WRESTLING!" The stadium, and in particular the entire 11th division stood up in a cheerful roar. "Now, presenting… SHIRO-O-O-O!"

The spotlights that suddenly appeared flew over to a curtain where Hitsugaya Toshiro, dressed in white wrestling spandex marched onto the ring, only slightly less mortified by the alteration in costume. There was a shrill scream from fangirls and an eruption of camera shots. Mostly from Matsumoto (Hinamori couldn't stop laughing).

"THE ICE BOY! THE BONE CHILLING CHILD FROM THE FROZEN DEPTHS OF HELL! CAN THE CONTENDER HOPE TO DEFEAT THIS CAPTAIN OF COLD TORTURE? HE BETTER HOPE SO! OR ELSE IT'S LIGHTS OUT! OR SHOULD THAT BE, 'ICE' OUT?" roared Yamamoto in announcer style. The cheer that came with Hitsugaya had fled into an uncomfortable chirping of crickets. Hitsugaya felt like forfeiting just out of sheer embarrassment. The general checked himself. "Ah, ahem… cough… yes, well. And now presenting, Hana…" he said more formally. "The clumsy killer quack. The humble heart wrencher, which… which… Oh, what the hell! WHICH MEANS HE WRENCHES OUT YOUR STILL BEATING HEART WITH HIS BARE HANDS!" he cackled, and this time the stadium decided to humor him and cheered. "YAMADA HANATAROU!"

Missing his first cue, Yamamoto had to repeat his name and then someone pushed him out on stage. If Matsumoto was laughing before, she was hyper ventilating now, and if Hitsugaya was angry before, he was blood seeking, foam frothing, and psychotically unstable now.

Hanatarou marched out with the soft thump of his ug boots, dressed as an Eskimo. Hanatarou marched out with the soft thump of his ug boots, dressed as an Eskimo. I wrote that sentence twice because I couldn't really believe it the first time. It was a blue costume, like the boy ice climber in Super Smash Brothers, and it carried the same aura of danger and strength… none. He didn't even have a hammer. He clambered onto the ring and began his bowing fit.

"I… I don't know what to say…" said Ganju, which was more than what anyone else could. "That is the plan then? He wears warm cloths?"

"Merely cosmetic." whispered Kurotsuchi as the cheer finally remembered to sound. "Personally I preferred the one with varicose veins and the tentacles."

"I… am… so… loving… this…" giggled Matsumoto between twitches of insane joy. Isane and Kuukaku were still yammering silently with slackened jaw.

Yamamoto stepped back out of the center so the two fighters looked each other in the eye… even though Hanatarou accidentally dropped his hood and Hitsugaya was busy picturing all sorts of interesting ways to make a bone go snap. "As this is Pro-wrestling, there will be absolutely no use of any kido, offensive, defensive or healing. Spiritual pressure, however, is allowed as it is more 'presence' than an actual attack. You may not bring a weapon into the ring, but only the costume you wear." The general raised his hand "Let the fight… BEGIN!"

* * *

Hanatarou bowed and looked at the reitsu pouring form of Hitsugaya with fear. It was like he was back at the white tower, being crushed by the pressure of Zaraki, or when he was walking the bridge to face Byakuya. But this time, there was no one to save him.

Hanatarou bowed again, not sure what else to do and ignoring the cries from his friends around him. The beat of his heart was drowning them out. He felt so cold, and afraid, and so very cold. He shivered and bowed again. This wasn't Hinamori, Kira or Hisagi. Possibly it was greater than all of them combined. This was overwhelming power. This was a captain's reiatsu.

He bowed again, probably because he began to feel sick. He could forfeit. He could just run. He had his head elbowed into the dirt.

* * *

The crowd was silent. Hana's head visibly bounced on the floor with a splash of blood. Not a single person was smiling anymore. The crowd was silent.

"Get up!" ordered Hitsugaya.

"…" Hana twitched and tried to push himself off the ground. His head felt like a tumble drier with a ball bearing inside of it.

"Did you hear me? Get up! GET UP!" he kicked Hana in the head and he collapsed again. "I can't believe I have to fight this…"

Rolling to the side, Hana got back on his feet, swaying dizzily from the hits. His vision was blurred and there was a sharp ringing in his ears. Frost, he noticed, was building on his cheeks. He managed to raise his fists to block the punch at his head, but it was immediately followed by a fist to his gut. Stomach juices filled his mouth and dripped to the floor, shattering as icicles. A mist was flowing off the ring.

Rikichi and Rin were mortified, shivering at the close proximity of Hitsugaya's power. Kenpachi was disappointed. Kuukaku was restrained by Ganju and Isane. Yamamoto and Byakuya watched silently and emotionlessly.

Hitsugaya held Hana's collar and flung him to the ground, where he began to kick him.

"This is bad…" said Rin.

"Most unfortunate…" spat Kurotsuchi. "We hardly made the suit powerful enough to resist this much reiatsu."

"What do you mean?" asked Rikichi. "What's wrong?"

"The primary purpose of an Eskimo suit is to keep heat in." said Rikichi. "Our suit does that efficiently, but it also repels cold by converting an enemy's reiatsu. But… But I never expected it to be so…"

"Murderous…" said Kurotsuchi. Hitsugaya slammed Hana onto the floor by his foot. "There is so much killing intent, that the suit is afraid of the enemy."

"The suit is alive?" gasped Ganju.

"Naturally. What better way to convert spiritual matter than using spiritual beings may I ask? Certainly no –peh- machine."

"If Hana can gather enough courage, maybe the suit will also feel more confident?" said Rikichi. "He must try!"

"He _better_ try! I spent quite a bit of time on that suit, and I want to see it work dammit!"

"The sumo training is now all worthless!" cursed Kuukaku. "There is no chance to use the pushing techniques, it's a completely different style of fighting and the rules are changed."

"No recovery pill either." said Isane. "This is a dangerous situation."

Kuukaku shook her head. "We should call him out... There's no chance he co-" but she was stopped as Isane gripped her hand.

"Let him decide when..." she spoke, watching the beating with much pain and sadness in her eyes. "Let him decide for himself."

Kuukaku looked to her for a while, thinking, until she summoned up enough courage to watch the fight again.

Hitsugaya pinned Hana by his legs and began to apply pressure. Hana screamed in pain. "I don't believe this. Is this as far as you were willing to go?" asked the cold captain. "Is this how seriously you were taking me?" at which time he began to stomp on him.

"TAICHO!" yelled out Matsumoto, but she was silenced by a glare from Yamamoto. Hinamori was crying.

Hitsugaya glanced only for a moment at Matsumoto before directing all his attention and wrath back at Hanatarou. "Pathetic! You are absolutely pathetic!" growled Toshiro, as he continued to kick him around the ring. "STAND UP! COME ON! STOP WASTING OUR TIME! IS THIS WHAT YOU DID ALL THAT STUPID TRAINING FOR? YOU AND YOUR STUPID FRIENDS?"

Hitsugaya's foot stopped. His leg trembled as it was caught by Hana's hands in a fierce grip. He looked into his eyes, and for a moment was uncertain, and perhaps even afraid. But quickly he recovered, pulled his foot out of his grasp and kicked him another time before leaving him to receive the count. "What a waste of time…" Toshiro sighed.

Hana was cold, the bristles of his fur suit were coated in ice. His face was turning blue and his eyebrows and lower lip were frostbitten. The entire ring had become a bloody ice rink with cracks where Hanatarou's head had bounced. Yamamoto began the count. "ONE!"

"Get up!" hissed Kurotsuchi. "You worthless guinea pig!"

"Get up!" cried Isane, Kuukaku and Rikichi. "Hanatarou! Get up!"

"TWO!" called Yamamoto.

"Get up!" growled Kenpachi. "Come on!"

"Get up!" yelled Ganju and Rikichi at the top of their lungs. "GET UP!"

Yamamoto sighed. "Th-…"

…

Unohana was there. She turned up late, even though she had planned not to turn up at all. She stood at the doorway at first, listening to Hanatarou's agony. When the count began, she turned to leave. When the second number was called she stopped. And just before the third, she moved. She shunpoed into his line of sight for the briefest of moments and left again. She did it so quickly that only the Yamamoto noticed her. Then she left, and walked away…

Something snapped...

…

Three things happened simultaneously. Yamamoto paused. Hanatarou lunged. Hitsugaya flinched.

The aftermath left many people wandering where Hana had learnt about the 'pile-drive' in the first place. Hitsugaya, while upside down, flailed his knees and managed to clip his attacker's chin. Then he flipped onto his back and gave Hana a punch to the face, sending snow flakes off his hood. Hana replied by giving several more to him in return. There were confused emotions everywhere.

Though it would have been funny to see Hanatarou in an Eskimo suit choke slamming Hitsugaya, and Hitsugaya in spandex, body slamming said costumed Hanatarou, the context made it difficult for anyone to laugh, especially with so much blood everywhere. Kerotsuchi took a bit of credit for the design of his suit to combat the ice, but it was truly inspired of Hanatarou to use the ice as rocks to mush into his opponent's weak spots, like his eyes.

Hanatarou, with eyes aflame, was screaming out, "TAKE IT BACK! TAKE IT BACK!" and "MY FRIENDS AREN'T STUPID! THEY'RE NOT STUPID!", but Hitsugaya couldn't hear it due to the pain, and everyone else was paying their attention completely to the action rather than the dialogue. Hinamori was actually covering her ears.

'_That suit… there must be something about that suit…!'_ deduced Hitsugaya. Now that he was in a choke hold, he could sense the spiritual disruption of the clothing clearly. _'If that is the case… then there is no alternative…'_ Hitsugaya expertly broke the hold and one of Hana's fingers… then proceeded to rip Hana's cloths off.

The silence in the stadium took a new character as the opponents began to rip at each others garments. For one, Toshiro was only wearing underwear under his spandex, and Hana was almost always fighting on his back. Matsumoto, while not fully aware of her actions, began taking photos again.

"THERE!" snapped Hitsugaya, hobbling on his feet. He took a real beating when removing the pants. "Now let's see how well you cope like that Yamada!"

Hanatarou, now only clad in a very torn version of his normal shinigami robes was trembling terribly in the cold. He was using all his reiatsu to repel Hitsugaya's aura, but he doubted it would last for more than a minute. After catching their breath, they moved in to grapple and tear again.

"Should we stop this farce?" asked Kurotsuchi with disappointment printed all over his brow. "He figured it out very early, as expected from the child genius. Yamada clearly cannot win without my suit, so we might as well end it here. Or will we just sit down and watch this… this _strip show_?" There was a taught ripping sound as Hanatarou completely tore off one of Hitsugaya's leggings with his teeth.

"No, this is a good match." Said Kenpachi, somewhat satisfied by the ferocity, yet at the same time very disturbed. "Yamada is realizing his opponent is smaller than him, and can be overpowered by size as well as spirit. There is no skill or physical strength involved really; just sheer determination."

"And clothing." Noted Kerotsuchi, as Hitsugaya tore up a better half of Hana's shirt.

"And dignity." Nodded Kenpachi, as the two fighters began to resort to slaps and pinches.

"And the cold of course."

"Of course." And then Hana broke a slab of ice over Hitsugaya's neck.

Hana knew he wasn't stronger. By far he wasn't the stronger one. All he could rely on to his advantage was his size, using his slightly longer reach to keep Hitsugaya at bay. Speed played only a minor factor in the brawl, as the ring was too small to use shunpo to any great effect. Even so, Hana's sharpened reflexes from a week around Yoruichi, Matsumoto and Nemu, were at least on par with Hitsugaya, so they hit each other with the same proficiency.

Hana couldn't feel his toes, or his fingers. Quickly he used his reiatsu to melt the frostbite on his feet and shoulder where he was bitten, but it would only be a matter of time before he would be overwhelmed by the spiritual pressure. Hitsugaya, meanwhile, was untangling his mangled fingers after giving Hana a severe Captain Kirk punch (fist made by hands together with fingers intertwined), which would have finished the match if that part of the body he hit hadn't been coated in rock solid ice.

"You have… about thirty seconds… before you become a pop-sickle…" panted Hitsugaya. "Yamada!"

"One… one minute… more…" panted Hanatarou. He pumped extra energy to his hands to try and restart the circulation.

"Then you want… to continue… this stupid fight…? It's getting… nowhere fast…"

"I'll think… of something!" gasped Hana. Even his lungs felt like they were going to freeze solid.

"There is nothing… nothing you can do… to stop me…" sighed Hitsugaya. "No more… tricks… no more strategy… no special training… It's… over…"

Then Hanatarou thought of his training, and realized... No, he couldn't. Surely not! There was no way that could work, could it? But yes, it did once, and he can do it also! Yes, there was just one more move… just one more move to try. "One more strategy… one last m-move…" he stood tall and proud.

Hitsugaya grumbled as he stood up likewise. In a way, the fight had improved their relationship in as far as mutual respect. Both of them had bruises they would remember, broken fingers, toes, ribs and ice damage. A small icicle Hana had stabbed Toshiro with was still protruding from his head, half hidden in his white hair. Even with so much pain, Toshiro was clearly not as damaged as Hanatarou, who looked like he had been hit by a bus sized glacier. "Amuse me with it Yamada…" coughed Toshiro. Matsumoto giggled and he decided to elaborate. "Show me… what you learnt… in all that time…"

Hana nodded. He places his hand on what remained of his pants… then ripped them off.

The audience reached another level of shell shocked silence.

Byakuya left along with dignity.

"I knew it…" sighed Kenpachi, his head downcast. "I should have left while I still had the chance… Now I am scarred for life..."

"Wha-...?" Then Hitsugaya's vein popped on his forehead. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" Icy mist, like steam, rose from his body in his re-fueled anger. "ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE A FOOL OUT OF ME?"

Hana, now only clad in a loincloth, tied his pants around his chest then stuffed them with remnants of his shirt and Toshiro's shredded spandex. Matsumoto was first to hitch onto the idea, followed by Kuukaku, Isane and Yoruichi. They all thought he had gone insane. Hitsugaya only realized what the plan was when it was all too late…

"N… No…" cried Hitsugaya. Tears actually began to form as he was unable to bear the humiliation any longer. This was a nervous breakdown. "No… you… you wouldn't dare!"

Hanatarou tightened the back strap and adjusted his new cleavage. "Rangiku's wrestling move…" his teeth chattered, knowing the end was near. "The one… th-that you fear the most… Hitsugaya t-taicho…"

"Don't… Don't come near me!" warned Toshiro, his knees clacking together. "Don't even speak to me you sick bastard! I don't want to fight like this! Not like this! NO!"

Hana rushed in. Toshiro raised his trembling fist. They connected.

Two teeth left Hanatarou's lower jaw, but by the strength of his will and an emotionally distraught Hitsugaya meant it didn't stop him. The arms wrapped around Hitsugaya's head, and then squeezed like an octopus. Toshiro's face disappeared into the garments around Hana's chest, muffling his screams. He was being smothered.

Hitsugaya couldn't use the ice, as it risked sealing Hana to his face. Punching and kicking was ineffective against his numb body. Even scratching his back till blood ran out had little effect on Hana's hold on him. He couldn't hold his breath any longer, but nor could he take any in.

Hitsugaya was getting dizzy. Blood was rushing to his head and his legs began to spasm on their own. Spots appeared in his vision, and he could hear a rushing like water. His heart was pounding like it was out of his chest. He was afraid. Yes, he was terrified. He was frightened, not of death, not of the pain or the uncertainty of the darkness… but of the humility and shame that was now upon him… or rather on top of him.

With a few more spasms in the now muddy ring, Hitsugaya stopped moving altogether…

And stopped breathing…

And stopped beating…

A gong sounded…

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

**Ha! I bet no one was expecting THAT eh? Sorry it took so long, but I had to find the right mood. I hope Hana wasn't too out of character, but I hope to explain his duality next chapter or so along with Unohana's mysterious emoism. Just to clarify, Hitsugaya wasn't using his sword, so it is completely based on his reiatsu and physical strength only, no Hyonimaru, so I hope his close-ish bout with Hanatarou has something believable about it.**

**Happy Writings!**

…


	10. Sumo no Love

Hitsugaya lay on his couch and counted the seconds on his clock. The caravans had left as soon as the match ended, transporting Hanatarou and his next challenger to their starting point far out east. Only one day had passed. He fixed the gauze on his head and began to feel under the cushions.

There were sympathy cards piled by the doorway. He got flowers and chocolates and stuff too of course, but that was hardly worth the dear price he had paid in defeat; complete, humiliating and inconsolable. The disturbing vision still haunted his dreams. The Eskimo suit, the stripping, the cleavage and the emergency resuscitation; it was horrible. All the while he could see the flashes of cameras and the victorious Hanatarou being lifted from the ring… while he was carried away on a stretcher.

He pulled out the bottle of sake Matsumoto kept for emergencies and uncorked it between his teeth…

* * *

"That was quite a fight you had there Hana-chan." Said Kuukaku, gently patting him as he sat next to her. Hanatarou bobbed his head a bit in response, but remained silent with weary eyes.

Isane was busy at his feet with 8th seat Ogidou, making sure Hana's arms and legs were safe from the ice damage from the previous day's battle. Yes, it had been quite a fight. The women's association made a killing with the videos alone.

Hana was still traumatized from the event, not because of the brutality that suddenly burst from him, but because only at the end did he realize that he had just ripped his pants off in front of the whole of Seireitei. In front of Isane, Kuukaku, Hinamori and Nemu to only mention a few. And now he had only one day before his next challenge, against 2nd Division Captain… Soifon…

* * *

Soifon walked into the head caravan. It was beautifully, if not extravigantly furnished inside and had to be pulled by several giant boars. She knelt by in front of the main chair. "You summoned me commander general Yamamoto?"

Yamamoto nodded and beckoned her to rise. "We have a problem, Soifon Taicho…" he spoke drearily.

"Yes, we do." Agreed Soifon. A flicker of her eyes betrayed her intent. "Do you wish my special forces to… arrange to have the problem disappear?"

"Assassination is not an option." Said Yamamoto sternly. "His death alone cannot atone for the shame he has brought upon us all. These trials were meant to restore dignity, honor and pride! But Yamada has turned it into something horribly warped." He opened his eyes ever to slightly. "He must not defeat another captain. He must not put any more to shame by his antics…"

"What do you wish me to do then, sir?"

"It is simple." Replied Yamamoto. "There will be almost no rules in the next challenge. You may use any weapons as you may wish and without restraint if you should so desire…"

"I see…" bowed Soifon again. "Thankyou sir. It shall be done." And she shunpoed away to sharpen her blades… _'I will enjoy this…'_

* * *

Hanatarou rested in his caravan and thought about the next task to complete. It wasn't getting any easier. The next challenge would be a race back to Seireitei along 100 miles of country, forest and towns against one of the fastest Shinigami alive. Hana was sort of looking forward to a day or two of adventurous trekking, until Yoruichi revealed that Soifon could cover the distance in less than three hours. It was a blessing and a curse when Yamamoto revealed the rules (or lack thereof) and Kuukaku, Yoruichi and Ganju were immediately occupied with devising a madcap scheme to see him through. All Hana had to do now was to wait and see what his friends had in store for him. His doubt was only just outweighed by his trust in them.

There was a knock on the door. Hana was almost afraid to answer. "Uh, c-come in?" he ventured.

The visitor was altogether unexpected, walking in confidently in business attire and getting straight to the point. "Yamada Hanatarou, sign my contract and I'll make you the most popular and the richest man in the whole of Soul Society!"

"H-hisagi-san?" gawked Hanatarou. "What are you talking about? And w-why are you wearing sunglasses and that funny hat?"

Hisagi tipped his reporter's hat and plonked a briefcase onto the table. "I'm talking about stardom Hanatarou. Fame, riches, glory and women! All of it!" his eyes gleamed behind his sunglasses.

"E-e-eh?"

Hisagi unloaded the suitcase contents and Hana was bewildered. It was packed with mugs, T-shirts, action figures and various CDs and DVDs; all with Hanatarou's face! "Hana-chan! Can I call you Hana-chan? Well you know how I am in charge of the news around Seireitei, the media and general entertainment? Well I've been investigating media in the living world and I can see a huge opportunity, a HUGE opportunity for us both!"

"You-you have me on UNDERWEAR?"

"It's called lingerie, but anyway." Said Hisagi, pulling out a cigar and chewing it. "You sell like hot cakes! In fact we sell your face on hot cakes! There is not a woman in Soul Society that doesn't know your name, your face or your… ahem… unique voice…"

"R-r-r-really? But, but why are you doing all this for me?" he asked. "I hurt you all very badly during the first task."

"Oh, that is water under the bridge Hana-chan!" assuered Hisagi. "But funnily enough I think that was when my eyes were open to the possibilities! My paper covered the fight and we were sold out in hours! When I saw your avid supporters, the popularity of the fight and your potential; in my mind I envisioned red carpets, spotlights and limousines! You have the makings of greatness in you!"

"M-m-me?"

"Believe kid!" smiled the lieutenant. "Like I said, there is HUGE opportunity out there for us, and all we have to do is reel them in! Not only merchandise, but shows, movies, parades, concerts and maybe even musicals!"

"D-don't be silly!" yammered Hanatarou. However, he couldn't help but look at the Hana-med-kit with interest. "You… y-you are joking… r-right?"

"Hanatarou…" smiled Hisagi greedily. He set up a screen and DVD player from his suitcase. "How much do you know about human 'stars'?" and he pulled out a few documentary DVD's, from Jackie-chan to George Clooney.

* * *

"Taicho! Taicho! Are you in there?" Matsumoto peeped through the window, but couldn't see anyone there. The paperwork on the desk was touching the ceiling. "Taicho?"

"Matsumoto-fukutaicho!" reported three shinigami from 5th division. "We have finished scouting our designated area. What are our orders?"

"What? Oh, just go home for today or something…" said Matsumoto dismissively, waving her hand.

"Um… It's eleven in the morning…" spoke the man uncertainly. "We've only been working for two hours this shift."

"And we've not scouted anywhere really," said another. "And it has only been around the tenth division area."

Matsumoto glared and the men backed down. She sighed. "Then go scout the gate or something."

"Um, which gate?"

"Oh, I don't know! Surprise me!" she snapped. "Now GO!" the men bowed and fled quickly away. Matsumoto looked through the window again and furrowed her brow. She wondered if he had already assigned a replacement for her. She hoped he was alright. "Taicho?" she called again, but with dying optimism. "Toshiro…?"

* * *

"You mean he only has to wait two minutes before he has enough money to buy a CAR?" gasped Hanatarou. "That's… th-that's insane!"

Hisagi looked at his sparkling wide eyes with triumph. "Yes Yamada, we are only one signature away from bringing modern media to this backwater world! And you shall be the brightest star in its sky!" and he handed Hana the pen and paper. Hanatarou gulped and the pen trembled in his hand.

"M-maybe…" he hesitated. "Maybe I should talk to my friends about this?"

"Oh come on Han-chan! You can trust me!" he put an arm around Hana and whispered in his ear. "And just think about it. Think of all the things you can get them when you're rich. Wouldn't you like to do that? For them?"

"I-I really _would_ like to do that..." smiled Hana, thinking of all the good he could do with such wealth. He could finally pay them back for all the kindness they had given him. "B-b-but…"

"But what? What is there to think about?"

Hanatarou swallowed hard and gave the paper reluctantly back. "I really can't do this yet. Not while I have so many things to do…"

"But this is the peak of the hype!" argued Hisagi, almost whining. "This can mean the difference between hundreds and thousands!"

"Thankyou Hisagi, but I cannot accept your offer."

"Listen Hana, can't we arrange a-?"

"Hisagi-san. I am not interested."

For a moment Hisagi hesitated. He looked to Hanatarou and noticed he had stopped shaking and had stopped stammering in his speech. His eyes didn't yearn pitifully, but they stared at him… stared hard at him… Hisagi took the paper quietly. "I see…" he sighed.

Hanatarou pitied him and poured him a cup of tea with the Yummy Yamada Tea Set. "M-maybe I'll sign later. You never know." He smiled. "It-it is a lot of money isn't it?"

Hisagi's smile returned to him and he began to eat another cigar. All was not lost. "It sure is Hana-chan. I really look forward to doing business with you in the future."

"Thankyou Hisagi-san." Bowed Hanatarou happily. They clinked their tea cups and toasted to the successful survival of Hanatarou's next challenge. Then suddenly there was a quick rapping at the door.

"Hanatarou! Hanatarou-san!" called out Rikichi urgently outside. Hana rushed over to see what he wanted. "Unohana-taicho wants to speak with you!"

"I-is there something wrong?" stammered Hanatarou, terribly worried. "What happened?"

"I don't really know, but Isane-san and the rest of the 4th squad are really worried, and your taicho has refused to speak with anyone but you! Hurry up!"

Hana packed his medical sash and leapt out of the caravan. "Thankyou for the tea Hisagi-san!" he called back. "I'll speak to you later wh-when I can!"

* * *

Yoruichi looked at the plans. Ganju tried not to look at the plans. Kuukaku tried to burn the plans. "ARE YOU BOTH MAD?" yelled the one armed woman. "Do you want Hana-chan to die?"

"That is entirely up to your expertise Kuukaku. I can't stay here because of the message from the mysterious _**SSS**_ wanting me to return to the real world; so you are in complete control now." Said Yoruichi. "I know how you feel about him, but I know Soifon, and I know the seriousness of Yamamoto in keeping the status quo. This may be the only way for him to succeed."

"But at this angle…" muttered Ganju. "At that speed and all by himself, will he be able to hold it all together the entire length? That would require quite a special piece of work." He looked at the worry all over his sister's face and mimicked her.

Yoruichi looked at them seriously and thumped her hand on the table. "We have come a long way together, and he has faced and overcome awesome difficulties that by even the most insane disc jockey he should have lost! It mustn't end here. There is no backing down. Kuukaku!" the women stared at each other intensely. "You must help him!"

Kuukaku stood up with the plans in her hands. Ganju fidgeted in his seat. She spoke quietly. "Baka… I never intended to abandon him now." She walked out and down the stairs. "Ganju! Hurry up! I'll need some help, and you can learn a thing or two!"

"R-right!" answered her brother obediently and he scampered after her. "Thankyou again Yoruichi-san." He called back as he left. "And say hello to that dandelion head Ichigo!"

"I will, and good luck." Said Yoruichi in cat form. She leapt away to report back to Urahara shop.

* * *

Renji was sitting down, reading the latest magazine from 8th division, particularly delving on the fourteen page article on Hanatarou's latest conquest. Byakuya, who had now given up trying to purge Renji's interest on the subject, sat meditating in his calligraphy. In such a state, he was quite aware that something was going to disturb his afternoon… and it was getting closer…

Renji finally sensed the spiritual pressure and sat up on alert. "Do you feel that taicho?"

"If you weren't reading that useless drabble, then you might have sensed it earlier." Replied Byakuya with sting. The captain handed his paper and inks to his servant and got his sword ready. "See that our subordinates don't get caught up in this. In such a state, he might actually kill them…"

"Who?" asked Renji. He concentrated harder, but was still clueless to the identity of the aggressor. "The reiatsu spikes from a common shinigami right up to your level… maybe even higher." He admitted with a gulp. "Is there more than one?"

Byakuya glared. "Just do as I order before anyone gets hurt."

"H-hai!" answered Renji, and he leapt out. He was thrown back in by a large block of ice. "Agh!"

"BYA-KU-YA!" roared a youngish voice outside. Waves of icy reiatsu and snowflakes blew through the room. The attacker was shaken and was unsteady on his feet. The wings on his back jittered and molted in spasms. Freezing the posts of the room, he disintegrated the structure into damp, brittle firewood, collapsing around the stoic captain Kuchiki. Captain Hitsugaya Toshiro took another swig from the wine gourd before hobbling forward again. "I need to… hic-talk to you!"

"Taicho!" yelled out several squad members behind Toshiro, 6th and 10th division alike. They ran in to restrain him from behind. "Calm down!"

"Idiotsh…" grumbled Hitsugaya, who used his tail to effortlessly slam all of them away into the garden ornaments of Byakuya's yard. "Incompetent, tactlessh piecesh of trash!" he growled. He flapped his wings and fell on his face. Cursing as he got up, he took another drink and threw a courtesy glacier at his colleague.

Byakuya didn't bat an eyelid and shattered the ice with a flurry of pink death. "You are drunk, captain Hitsugya…" he commented at last.

"Shut-up! Hic!" snapped Toshiro as he continued to stumble over the same rock, before simply walking through it. "I'm over a hundred-hic yearsh old! I'll drink if I bloody well want to!" and he put the bottle to his lips to demonstrate, but found it empty. He vented his frustration by converting the pond into a pillar.

"You want to fight?" asked Byakuya.

"Do you have anything to drink?"

Byakuya paused "… No."

"Then yesh!" said Toshiro. "You did it didn't you?" he pointed his fingers in Byakuya's general direction. "I saw you in the shtadium, hiding in the shadowsh! Hic! You went to see Yamamoto and got him to change the rules didn't you… hic…? DIDN'T YOU?" he was now yelling at him eye to eye.

Byakuya's nose crinkled as the blast of foul alcoholic breathe blasted his face. "And what if I did? I did not do anything wrong."

Hitsugaya tried to cut Byakuya, but ended up nearly killing Renji with an extremely wayward strike. "Nothing wrong? You said NOTHING –hic- wrong? YOU WERE AFRAID THAT I WOULD LOOSHE!" he screamed. Toshiro leapt at Byakuya and made another dragon shaped dent in the snow drift

"This isn't good for the grass…" comented Byakuya. "Please keep off it."

"Don't change the sh-sh-shubject you bastard! HIC! You saw that push Hanatarou gave and you thought he had a fighting chanshe against me! That's why you went to shange the rules! You're the reashon why I'm knee deep in sympathy cards and drinking shtale liquer fermented by the warmth of my Lieutenant'sh cleavage!" he went on tirade. "You cowardly –hic- piece of scum! I'LL KILL YOU!" he lunged again, this time getting beaten back by Byakuya's sakura.

"You were the one who got defeated in the end Hitsugaya." Warned Byakuya angrily. "It did not matter if the setting changed, there was no excuse for your loss."

"But it didn't have to end this way…not… hic… like this…" panted Hitsugaya. He screamed again and flew at Byakuya with claws outstretched, this time forcing Byakuya into a retreat. Small icicles pattered on the floor as tears dripped from Toshiro's emotional face. "If I was going to be beaten, then I wanted to be defeated with honor! I want to acknowledge skills and powers that beshted my own… But I did not, I DID NOT want to end up getting stripped half NAKED, getting westled by an ESKIMO, smothered in man-boobsH and become the centerfold for a (censored, censored, censored, censored, hiccup) MAGAZINE!" and he held up the picture of himself receiving CPR from a poorly clad Hanatarou. The position he chose to do so was also indescribably poor.

"All thoshe yearsh of training! Hic!" continued Hitsugaya, throttling Byakuya with his tail. "The highest straight scoresh in the academy examinationsh! First class kido, advanced swordsmanship and… hic- tactics! The youngesht captain in the history of Soul Socity! The boy geniush showing unrivaled potential from all his peers! ALL THAT EFFORT AND STRUGGLE FOR THIS?" he raised his sword over Byakuya's head, opening his defenses well and truly wide.

Byakuya stabbed him, careful to avoid his vitals, then threw down and bound him to the spot with restraining kido. "You need to sober Hitsugaya Taicho." He said coolly. "You may speak to me when your manners return and when you understand the meaning of 'hangover'. Take him away."

The Kuchiki servants carried the sobbing Hitsugaya away to 4th division, leaving Byakuya to contemplate the icy tatters of his garden. He was so angry, he didn't even bother trying to help Renji out of the tonnes of rubble.

* * *

Hanatarou knocked on the door of his captain's caravan. "H-hello?" he felt the handle and it was unlocked. "Why hasn't anyone gone in to check on her?"

"Fear." Answered Ogidou plainly, before Isane could offer an excuse. 3rd seat Ieumera was left in charge back in Soul Society, so Ogidou spent his time shadowing and annoying his lieutenant.

"Respect!" snapped Isane, offering a less degrading explanation. "We just… w-well… We knocked and everything…"

"Just go in there and sort it out Yamada-sempai." Sighed Ogidou. "Death is the worst that can happen."

"OGIDOU!"

"N-no it's alright Koketsu-Fukutaicho." Bowed Hana. "I m-may be on trial, but I am still a member of the 4th squad, and I will continue doing my duties." He gulped. He turned to enter and ran into the door. He opened it and went inside.

"G-good luck Hanatarou…" said Isane meekly after him.

"You should have kissed him for luck." Whispered Ogidou.

"Ah?" yelped Isane, blushing. They then both heard the shattering of a vase and a trail of apologies from Hana.

"See."

"Oh..."

* * *

"It's alright Yamada-kun…" said Unohana. She sat at her table with some food set out. "Please take a seat. I wish to speak with you."

"A-ah yes! R-right away!" obeyed Hana. He quickly shoved the ceramic pieces to the side with his foot before assuming his seat at the table opposite his captain. "Are you alright? Everyone is worried."

"I…" began Unohana, but she couldn't quite say. "I will explain, but please… eat up. You haven't had lunch yet, have you?"

"No, I haven't…" admitted Hana, hungrily. Unohana gave him some more reassurance and he eventually started to tuck in eagerly. "Itadakimasu!" Unohana watched him with a smile, and after his third rice cake, he noticed shamefully that she had not taken a bite yet. "Ah, are you not hungry Taicho?"

"No, I have no appetite, thankyou Hana-chan." Said Unohana. "Please continue eating and I will explain. Time is of the essence after all."

Hana nodded and began to eat a bit slower, waiting to hear what his captain had to say. He also noticed the food he was eating was the usual assortment his captain ate for breakfast, lunch and dinner. It looked as though she had not touched any of her food at all.

"Hanatarou, do you know why you are a shinigami?" she asked at length.

"W-wasn't it because of my father and brother?" he asked timidly. He knew that a lot of his acceptance wasn't just due to his nice manners.

"They helped you, but that was not what caught my eye. It was something else, more… personal…" replied Unohana. Hanatarou listened attentively. "I saw… that you were like me..."

…

**Author's Notes:**

**Listening to the new Bleach anime opening in a continuous loop. Thanks for all the encouraging reviews for the last chapter, that really helped me out a lot in my motivation. I never really saw the smothering bit as much of a work of genius until I re-read with your comments in mind. Thankyou so much!**

**Next episode will see Unohana's explanation to Hana about the selection of 4****th**** squad members and the actual commencement of the next trial! What does Kuukaku have in mind to give Hana that winning edge? Will he be able to survive it to the finish line with Soifon at his neck?**_** I**_** hope so, or else this story isn't going to be much more fun!**

**The drunk Hitsugaya and the show-biz agent Hisagi will play a MAJOR part in the upcoming plot, so bear with them, as well as the so far allusive... SSS. **


	11. Hollow Heart Part 1

"Nemu! Nemu! Do you read me you good for nothing daughter?" repeated Mayuri over a radio.

"Yes, Mayuri-sama." Answered Nemu on the other end, back in Soul Society. "The Short Range Teleporter For a Quick Hop From The Start To Finish For Non-contestants is ready."

"Yes, yes, yes!" muttered Mayuri angrily. "when I have time I'll think of a better name later! Initiate the device at once!"

"Done." Answered Nemu. A large device vaguely in the shape of the Stargate but covered with intestines activates with a weird bubble effect in the color of blood. "The portal is now ready to test."

"This could be dangerous." Snickered Mayuri, loving the scientific suspense.

"Yes," answered Rin, who was finishing the ramp. "You could be turned inside out if we made the wrong calculations."

"Thank you for volunteering."

"What? AAHH!" Mayuri threw Rin through the portal and he reappeared back on the other end in Soul Society, caught in Nemu's arms. "Uh, it works Taicho!"

"Oh how anticlamatic," sighed Mayuri. "Oh well! At least we have it all set up for the rest of those ingrates! Now for the start of the match!"

…

"Soifon Taicho of the 2nd division special corps, step forward." Called Yamamoto.

In front of the crowd of a hundred or so, Soifon stepped to the starting line with her shikai already released on her hand. Unohana, Jushiro, Mayuri and Yamamoto were present along with members from their respective divisions. The captains stood closest to the contestants in an arc. Hanatarou had the fortune/misfortune of having to step through Mayuri and Unohana.

"7th seat Yamada Hanatarou of the 4th division 14th special relief squad, step forward." Called Yamamoto.

Hanatarou meekly stepped past the captains and received two things simultaneously; a pat on his back and a pat on his bum. What made things worse was that he wasn't sure where which one came from whom. Standing at the line, he dared a quick glance back to the captains who both gave him a wink. He shuddered, blushed and shuddered as the respective scenarios played out in his mind. Then he noticed something was placed in his back pocket, but there was no time to examine it now.

"The race will be back to the gate of Seireitei. The first to reach it will be declared the winner of the trial." Yamamoto raised his staff. "May the best Shinigami win. On your marks…"

"G-good luck…" stammered Hana to Soifon. Soifon glared.

"Get set!" continued Yamamoto.

"Die." Whispered Soifon. Hanatarou stepped back.

"GO!"

Immediately Soifon leapt forward and slashed to her side where she estimated Hanatarou to have reached… but he wasn't there. To her shock, he was getting further and further away from her reach… running backwards.

There he was, running and clumsily using shuunpo further in the opposite direction, away from Seireitei. The rest of the audience were also quite confused at his tactic, but if it was to put Soifon off guard then it was working like a charm. She was actually slowing down, unsure whether to take the advantage to win the race or wait for him to come back and kill him. When he ran into a caravan by mistake and tripped over an empty bottle, she decided he wasn't coming back.

With a sigh, thinking he had given up, Soifon decided just to win the race and headed off. That way Yoruichi wouldn't get angry at her, and if he ever did managed to catch up (highly unlikely) then she would dispatch him at leisure. A victory was assured either way. _"The coward."_ She frowned, somewhat disappointed._ "I knew he could never change. The rest of the SSS were wrong…"_

…

Hana, hounded by a chorus of boos and hisses from the crowd, hurried on to the meeting place where Ganju was waiting beside a small grassy knoll…

"Every second counts Hanatarou!" said Ganju hurriedly. He handed him a red version of the Kuukaku cannonball with care. "Careful, this thing hasn't really been tested yet."

Hana held the ball carefully. It hummed in his hands. "It's f-full of reiatsu!" he exclaimed. "Kuukaku-san's, Isane-san's and Nemu-san's!"

"And me and a few other's too!" whined Ganju. "It's not my fault my power isn't as noticeable!"

"HURRY UP!" yelled a voice from below the ground.

"Ah! Sorry!" exclaimed Ganju, and he pulled off the grass camouflage on the hill, revealing the end of a large canon. He picked up the trembling Hana and stuck him in. "Good luck!" he called down the tube as Hana slid down into the darkness.

"THANKY-y-yooo-uuuu!" Hana called back, and then he disappeared…

Hana hit the bottom with a cushioned thud. It was still dark, but he could hear Kuukaku and Isane just outside, under the earth preparing to fire the cannon at Seireitei.

"Are you okay Yamada-kun?" Isane asked quickly.

"Concentrate!" commanded Kuukaku without her usual charm. "Now!"

"H-hai!" nodded Yamada (though it was completely unnecessary) He wasn't used to this tone from her, but he understood the peril if he didn't listen and act immediately. He concentrated and the ball created a sphere around him, tingling with the mass of spiritual pressure, greater than that of captain level shinigami. It almost made him faint.

"The ball needs all that energy to carry you all the way to Seireitei…" reminded Kuukaku, while preparing the fuse spell. "Alone, you wouldn't be able to sustain the form and it was too late to teach you the steering chants."

"We needed to hide the cannon at this angle to avoid suspicion. So you will also hurtle faster vertically." Said Isane. "But with the ball's power, you will break through anything you touch, so don't worry about the impacts."

"But most of all, remember to concentrate on the form…" said Kuukaku as sweat trickled down her face. "I have no idea what will happen if a ball like that were to explode… The sheer magnitude of the shock alone rips through spirit particles like paper… It would almost most certainly mean the death of you."

Hanatarou gulped :Hai!" he nodded.

"Please be careful Hana-kun…"

Hana smiled and the ball around him grew stronger. "I will, Kuukaku-sensei."

Kuukaku nodded to Isane, and the two of them lit the fuses with an intricate display of kido. "IGNITION!"

"FIRE!" yelled out Hanatarou, and in an instant he was consumed in a bright light…

…

_The day before, back when Unohana spoke to Hanatarou…_

…

"_I was like you?" asked Hana, surprised. "You were actually like me once?"_

"_You were all like me…" smiled Unohana. "Isane, Ieumera, Ogidou and all the others. They all shared that same despair I felt, for being different from other shinigami."_

"_N-no!" exclaimed Hanatarou. "You are one of the strongest captains in all of Seireitei!"_

"_I wasn't always…" spoke Unohana. "I wasn't always like this. I used to be weak, frail and afraid. I used to be the pathetic shinigami that you believe yourself to be…" Hanatarou was speechless. He tried to say something positive, but the last words stung him painfully. "That is the reason why I chose you, that is how the 4__th__ squad is selected. I choose the ones who are weak of spirit and weak of will. That is what makes up the 4__th__ division. And that is why… that is why this is all my fault."_

_Hanatarou caught her as she fell forward in tears. His arms trembled not because of the weight but because he was so worried about her. "Taicho…"_

"_I knew you were not ready, but I pushed you on…" she cried. "I wanted to believe that healing powers alone could pull you all through difficult times. I th-thought I could help you figure your potential, but it was all too soon and too much!"_

"_But you did help us!" spoke Hana, gently holding her by her shoulders to speak to her face to face. "You did! You supported us-"_

"_But I ignored my responsibility!" she argued with tears. "I took you in not because I thought you were strong enough, but because you were weaker!" she almost shouted. "I wanted to show them! I wanted the strong you could be! To know that we are not broken and failures! I wanted to believe that we could rise above the bullies and the ones who regard power over spirit!"_

"_B-b-but that is a great thing!" stammered Hana, moved by her words. _

"_But by doing so, I put you all at a risk! At much greater risk than any other squad! More than anyone of your level should be expected to take! And now look where it has gotten you!" Unohana shook Hanatarou back. "This is all my fault!"_

_Hanatarou, with his left hand on her shoulder, used his other hand to hold the back of her head and laid it to rest upon his shoulder. Unohana cried there some more, and Hana kept hold of her with a distant expression on his face. A seriousness and a sorrow hazed on is eyes. After Unohana's eyes ran out of tears, he lifted her back upright with both hands on her shoulders again. "Taicho… I think I speak for everyone, but I g-guess from me especially…"_

_Unohana held his face as she noticed the tears welling up in his eyes. "Yamada-…"_

"_Because I am weak…" he cried, his vision totally obscured by the waters. "Because I was distressed, bullied and looked down upon… because despite all of that you were willing to believe in me, and in all of us… thankyou!" he hugged her. "Th-thankyou so much…" he sobbed upon her shoulder._

_Unohana hugged him back._

"_Thankyou…"_

…

Soifon looked back and was almost terrified.

A red comet was hurtling towards her, blazing with a reiatsu she could hardly imagine was possible. And it was gaining…

Hanatarou was that comet, and he was shaking like a washing machine with a minus star energy rating. Trees and the occasional unfortunate woodland creature shattered in his wake, consumed or combusted by the power around him. He could also see Soifon (though respectfully not as well as she could see him), and he almost wet himself…

She was getting serious.

With her bankai released, Soifon raised her canon arm and directed her stabilizing left to help maintain her aim while she charged up and continued to shuunpo backwards to gain as much time as possible. _'No matter how strong that thing is Yamada, it still will not save you from me!' _thought Soifon. With little maneuverability, Hana could not avoid the blast and so all he could do was wait and hope the shield would hold.

Soifon fired, the force sending her on several hundred meters ahead. The beam crackled with energy and hit the sphere so hard that it was halted in its tracks. The following impact boom swayed trees and shook the earth, erupting in an explosion of smoke, splinters and dust.

Soifon, though moving slower with all her gear, was now putting a good distance away again. She turned forwards and smiled with satisfaction; her lead was secure and she had probably killed her opponent as well. She was about to release her bankai, when suddenly there was a large boom like thunder. She looked back to the cloud of smoke, and saw the sphere again, crackling with damage but gaining speed and chasing after her.

Hanatarou was concentrating with all his will. The blast had almost shattered the ball outright, and only by luck and a last minute burst in pressure was he able to maintain form. The sphere was badly damaged though, and it was already starting to show signs of exploding at any moment. But with no other options, Hana remained in the ball and on course; straight to Seireitei and unfortunately Soifon.

Her weapon finally cooling down, Soifon readied another blast, but with its speed increasing, she wondered if she would have enough distance between her and the target. She could move to the side, but then she risked getting overtaken and missing the target at a bad angle. She hoped the blast would be enough to force her away from the explosion, but it would not be so.

Soifon, almost staring Hanatarou in the face, fired her shot at point blank, her canon practically against the crackling surface of the sphere… but there was no explosion. The energy was absorbed in the sphere through the emerging cracks and began to shine out a brilliant and almost blinding light. In that second, Soifon was hit by the ball and her bankai was deactivated and her sword flung from her grasp.

Hanatarou expected during impact to feel a piercing hot beam of energy where his head would have been, but instead felt only a little warm. He opened his eyes to see an unconscious Soifon against him, flung upon him as she was enveloped by the sphere. Why she hadn't disintegrated on impact or why her blast hadn't destroyed him he did not rightly know, but guessed the instability of the sphere had something to do with it; and it was getting worse!

Bolts of red electricity were filling on the inside, zapping against him and making Soifon twitch. The cracks were now gaping and the ride was becoming unbearably rough. Then, all the lights, energy and noise stopped for a moment enveloping into darkness… then burst into a brilliant flash of colors and warping the world from view…

Hanatarou fainted as they were flung into the void, and he saw and heard no more…

…

"Soifon-taicho! Soifon-taicho! Wake up!"

Soifon's eyelids fluttered open and she quickly sat upright. She tried to draw her sword, but then vaguely remembered losing it on impact and cursed. She looked to her side to see Hanatarou, sporting several bruises and holding a cup of water in offering. She shunned it and walked a few steps away to see where they were.

They were obviously not in Seireitei anymore. That was what caught her attention first when she awoke. The scenery looked like a desert at night, so she deduced they were in the living world… yet there was something not quite right about it…

"Oh dear, I don't know if these moisture pills will be enough for a d-desert trip." Worried a distressed Hanatarou. The fourth seat was digging through his medical sash like a squirrel for acorns. "I'm afraid I only have enough protein pills for a day or two if we share…"

"What… are you doing?" asked Soifon, still looking at Hanatarou as one would look at an anti-piracy ad; like a complete waste of time.

"Well I thought- w-well that…"

"That we could find a way out together?" she asked. Hana fumbled his feet. "I regard this as an obstacle in the task. So you will duly remain aware that I am still your opponent, and if I hadn't dropped my sword, you would have had it through your back by now." she pushed past him, not because there was no room, but because she wanted to. "If you become a burden here then I will break your neck. Now pack your stuff up and follow me, I think I can sense something in this direction."

"Oh yes, travel by night to avoid the heat of the sun." plodded Hanatarou after her

"You have no idea, do you? You fool." Scowled Soifon. "This isn't some earth desert. This is much worse."

"Ah? I-it is?"

"I have only read it in books and heard rumors, but if I am right…" she sighed. "We are trapped in Hueco Mundo, and if I know my history..._ forever_!"

…

**Arrancarar Dictionary with Ichimaru Gin**

…

"Hello again everyone." Spoke Gin, tapping his hand with his pointy stick. "Welcome again to another lesson about the Hollow world. Ah yes, the great dunes of Hueco Mundo are a splendid sight-"

"AH!" called out a little voice from below screen.

Gin looked down curiously at the little green figure at his feet "Oh, hello?"

"You're smart," said the green haired little child hollow. She had a large scar on her forehead and a helmet mask that had curled horns but was cracked in the center. "Tell me what this is mister?" she held up a slightly cracked red orb. "It just fell out of sky!"

"Hmm, I'm not quite sure actually." Said Gin, looking at it closely. He held it in his hands and it began to glow. "Ooh, look at that!"

"Ah! Gimme! Gimme!" yelped the child, and she climbed up and on his arm to snatch it back.

"It seems to absorb spiritual energy." Said Gin. "Maybe if ya' get a few more hollows to help fill it, somethin' might happen that will reveal this mystery? I'm too busy at the moment I'm afraid."

"Oh, okay mister!" said the child Nelliel. She scampered off to ride her giant worm. "I'll make shine reeeaaallly bright! Maybe it will exploded?"

"Okay but be careful! Bye-bye!" called Gin after her. "And mind your grammar!"

…

**Author's Notes:**

**Wow! Has it really been that long? Sorry about the wait guys, but I was specifically waiting to see if anything further would develop in the manga that would direly effect my story (Hence me using Soifon's Bankai). This will be a small two part adventure I think, but I'll see if I can stretch it to three due to the complexity of the task. **_**Soifon and Hanatarou**__** vs **__**Hueco Mundo**_**! Oh no! And another brief reference to the SSS from Soifon who is a **_**member**_**! Keep an eye out for them! What can SSS possibly stand for then?**


	12. Hollow Heart Part 2

**EPIC CHAPTER ALERT**

"Hurry up worm!"

"Y-y-yes Soifon Taicho!" Hana put away the device Mayuri had secretly placed on him and raced back to her side.

Soifon and Hanatarou trekked the vast wasteland of Hueco Mundo, more or less together. With little hope, and no plans of escape, they decided to make for the huge dome structure that dominated the horizon. Be it friend or foe, it was a lot better than starving in the middle of the desert with Hana's unrivaled pessimism and Soifon's award winning lack of sympathy. In any case, structures meant intelligent life, and intelligent life meant food. The distance however, was much, much greater than they had previously thought.

"That thing is as big as a city!" panted Yamada after the first few miles of forced march.

"And probably has the same number of soldiers." Said Soifon. She waited for her companion to catch his breathe. "Hand me your sword."

"U-uh yes…" hesitated Hana, but only in the fraction it took for Soifon to raise her hand to slap him. He gave his zampukto to the captain with trembling dignity. She snatched it up and put it into her cloth belt. "H-hey! What are you doing?"

"I'm the better fighter fool." She snapped. "If we are to survive here, it will depend on my strength, not on your whimpering! Anyway, it's your fault my sword was lost back in Soul society!" and she kicked the sand into his face.

Hanatarou wiped his mouth from the dust, but he was not angry or annoyed. She was right. She was the captain and he was just a seventh seat, a doctor not a specialist at killing. He could hear his sword crying out to him. It was not happy.

Hanatarou, though never really angry, could get quite bitter when people acted so coldly. He gave an infinitesimal glare while Soifon's back was turned "I can't believe someone like you was Yorouichi-sama's student…" he spoke quietly but aloud. The desert was completely void of life and deathly quiet, so Hana's whisper was as soft as a trumpet. Eighteen million elephants on crack could not compare to the stupidity he felt in himself. Soifon lifted him up by his neck. Being the same height as Hana, she could only lift him two feet off the ground. Had she been even half a foot taller, she would have started to swing him by it. "S-s-sorry…" struggled Hanatarou as he felt his breathe slowly being squeezed out of him. "S-s-s-oifon tai-taicho!" he started to get blue in the face

Soifon stared at him angrily. She knew how to strangle someone, and she knew how to savor it.

"I can't believe you were her student either," she smiled. She made Hana dip in and out of consciousness, letting only a few pumps of blood to circulate to his brain. He was beginning to froth "I can't believe she would have wasted any time on a hopeless case like you. If she wasn't protecting you I would have killed you long ago." In fact nothing would have pleased Soifon more than to turn Hana into a brain damaged vegetable, but the situation was desperate. She needed all the help she could get. She released him and waited for his seizure to pass before addressing him again. "Yorouichi-sama is the greatest Shinigami in all Seireitei. She should not have to care about worthless slugs. I do not care at all what happens to you here. Before this is over, I will almost certainly kill you."

Hana kept quiet. He took out Mayuri's shell like device again and fiddled with the only button, but still only one message popped up. _'Proximity denied'_. He had little hope for the little machine, perhaps it was broken during the explosion, he could not tell and he did not have the skill to fix it. There was no guarantee anyway that it could help them out of this situation. He shoved it back into his pocket as a useless artifact.

They went on their way.

…

Meanwhile, Neliel was busy getting helpful Wonderweiss and Toesen to help fill up her energy ball.

…

Hana and Soifon reached the wall of Hueco mundo, sneaking past the occasional hollow as per Soifon's strategy. The main gate was a definite no-no and smashing through the wall was much too reckless, so they trekked the outer perimeter of the colossal structure looking for another way in… it took them six days…

"Six days… six days…" Soifon kept repeating to herself. Hana had hardly spoken a word since his strangulation, but this did not stop Soifon from finding any excuse to berate him for his idiocy, which came almost as frequent as her praises for Yorouichi-sama at random points of the trip. Hanatarou had experienced such obsession before in his friend Rikichi to lieutenant Abarai Renji; but this case was a level up. Be it from food to the consistency of the air, Soifon would (or could not help) find a way to elevate Yorouichi's skills and beauty. Hana cringed as he predicted her next words. "Yorouichi-sama would have escaped in six minutes. This mess wouldn't have happened if she was here."

Hanatarou sighed, exhausted from the walking and tired of listening to his future murderer. The supply situation was bleak. They had food for another two days (four biscuits) and water for four days (Half a bottle of water and recycled urine). He dared not think too far ahead to the misery of the next few days; the present was more than enough. Sometimes he would look up at the moon and wonder about his friends in Soul society. But he could not speak of his loneliness to his uncaring companion; he could only shrink into the wretchedness of the land of the Hollows.

They could hear something.

Soifon leapt to the top of a dune ridge and took a look. She beckoned Hana up. "Hollows! Hundreds of them." She whispered.

Hanatarou looked over. He had never seen or heard of anything like it. There was a line, no a queue of Hollows, dozens, and all of them were archdukas classed, the stage between menos and arrancar. Hana slid back behind the dune and gulped. Soifon remained observant and gritted her teeth.

"If only I had not dropped my sword." She whined. "If only I knew how to use swordless techniques as well as Yorouichi-sama, I would be able to take down all of those hollows in an instant."

"What are they doing there?" ventured Hanatarou timidly. He avoided his usual stutter to avoid getting hit.

"I have a theory." She spoke, but in a way to only just acknowledging his existence. "They are probably seeking to become arrancar level, asking Aizen to use the power of the Hyougaku to transform them. Some may even have a chance of becoming future Espada." Hanatarou wished she had stopped there, but she just had to continue. "Not that they could stop Yorouic-"

"What's that?" quickly interrupted Hana. To his relief there was a great roaring at the gate and they peered at the commotion. There was a fight.

Apparently, a rather large hollow had pushed in line and was now eating several of his smaller contenders who had complained. Similar sized hollows decided to join in and there was now a large feeding frenzy. Two arrancar level hollows guarding the gate watched on, enjoying the free show.

Soifon gripped Hana's shoulder tightly, almost drawing blood. "Hurry," she hissed quietly. "This could be our chance!"

Dodging around the dunes and darting in and out of open desert, the pair made their way closer and closer to the gate. Hanatarou did not slow them down at all. Maybe it was from her example, perhaps it was from the continuous bullying and punishment, or maybe a mixture of both but Hanatarou was now as stealthy and swift as any member of the special ops division. If Soifon had the humility to admit it, he was probably better than most of her personally trained students.

The doorway jutted out about a meter from the wall, and that was all that separated Soifon and Hana from the two guards of the gate. If any Hollow should turn around they would surely be spotted, but fortunately the splashes of blood, guts and cero were as perfect a distraction then they could have ever wished. Still, this left the two guards. Soifon knew she could probably take them out quickly even without her own zampukto, but at the risk of triggering an alarm and alerting the entire dome of their presence she held back. To make matters worse, the fight was beginning to subside.

"We must be quick." Spoke Soifon. Hanatarou nodded and held his medical scalpel like a dagger. They breathed in and prepared to attack.

There was a roar.

It was such a terrible howl that Soifon and Hana stopped in their tracks. A lone menos sized archdukas stood over the corpses, howling out to the night sky in a blood curdling scream… it was being eaten alive. A hollow half its size was tearing out its bowels and eating with ravenous appetite. It was a brown colored, skeleton like creature with extremely taught skin wrapped round its distinct bones. It's lower half was a large, long slug that constricted its prey in a slimy muscular mass. Its hole was in its shoulder, and its mask was that of an eyeless, noseless mouth.

The two guards left their post and walked casually towards it. Before Hana could get over the horror of the beast, he was dragged in by Soifon into the walls of Las Noches…

…

"You did well." Said one guard to the beast.

"Good eating?" asked the other with a smile.

The beast ignored them and continued to eat the remains of the queue. The guards drew their swords.

"You know, you are probably more powerful than we were when we lined up." Continued the second guard. "You would have become a most powerful arrancar."

"No hard feelings right?" apologized the first. "But we can't have competition like you putting us down a rank." The two of them prepared to cut the archdukes down.

The beast laughed. **"Fools! You do not know what you say."**

"Oh, so you _can_ talk? Well, a creepy voice is not going to frighten us off!"

The beast cackled. **"I have no intention of seeking Aizen's help… **_**yet**_**! Now let me pass so I may feast upon those shinigami!"**

"Shinigami? What shinigami?" snapped the guards. "You're bluffing!"

"**They are in there now. Yes, I can smell them. They smell soooo delicious…"** the beast licked its teeth**. "I waited here so long just to pick off stinking, weakling hollows, but now I have a feast worth the wait. How fortunate that I chose to stay here. They shall become mine!"**

"You will never have the chance, even if there really are any shinigami." Said the guard. "We are arrancar, in charge of the gate. We were chosen for our power. Not even vasto lorde can get by us."

"**Oh, I was once a vasto lorde." **Reminisced the beast. **"But then I grew… and I grew… and I grew."**

The two guards released their swords and turned into spider like creatures as big as the beast. Their reiatsu created a mighty dust storm. "No matter how strong you are, you cannot defeat what our lord has blessed. Your form is not enough to overpower Aizen-sama's arrancar!"

"**Let me disagree with you, my prey."** Laughed the beast. It rose to its full height and it's massive body rippled and shuddered. **"Let my children feast upon your flesh!"**

A darkness fell upon the guards before their faces were slashed from their bones…

…

Neliel thanked Halibel and her fraccion for their help and continued to seek more help to fill the ball. The sphere was well and truly aglow now, much greater than what Hana had obtained in Soul Society. She wondered just how much it could take…

…

Soifon and Hanatarou cautiously stepped forward. The great enemy before them did not stir, a great bubble of snot deflating with each breath the only indication that he was still in fact alive. They both stood before the sleeping Espada in wonder. Hanatarou because he expected he would be dead the minute he set eyes on one, while to Soifon it was exactly the opportunity she was seeking. As their minds raced with the possibilities, Yammy continued to snooze, completely oblivious to his surroundings.

"This is my chance…" whispered Soifon. She laid her hand on Hana's sword.

Hanatarou almost squeaked, but held it in. "What are you doing?"

"Isn't it obvious?" hissed Soifon. "This is an opportunity to destroy an Espada! We cannot let this slip by!"

"I know that, but what happens if he wakes up? They are very fast! As soon as he feels the blade he'll wake up and who knows what will happen?"

"You have that sleeping drug don't you?" Soifon demanded quietly.

"Well, yes, but I don't know if it will be enough!" argued Hanatarou, but Soifon snatched it from him anyway and emptied it onto the sleeping Yammy's head. The large Espada's eyelids fluttered briefly then he slumped into an even more relaxed state unconscious. Soifon looked triumphant but Hanatarou was not as sure "If he's really strong, even that dose will not keep him out for more than a minute or two."

"That's all I need." Smiled Soifon, and she pulled out Hana's sword. "That's all death requires." She concentrated all her power, technique and soul to the strike; a strike she needed to slice through the thick skin of the Espada. The slash was brimming with captain level pressure. It cut through Yammy's neck like a hot knife through water… because the only visible sign that there had been a wound was a small trail of steam. The wound that would have turned Yammy nearly-headless sealed up with Hisagomaru's healing ability. Hana knew this, but hadn't the courage to remind her, but this did not stop Soifon from going berserk trying.

"This-is-such-a-stupid-ZAMPUKTO!" she screamed out with each breath. She struck and struck and struck at the heart, the neck, the eyes and even stabbing at the groin with devilish frenzy. "DIE-DIE-DIE-"

All this screaming did not go unnoticed to Hana's dismay. He could hear voices and footsteps not so far from their chamber. He grabbed Soifon's collar and dragged her away with all his might. Soifon kept screaming and slicing the air as they left. Yammy woke up, farted, and went back to sleep.

…

Soifon did not argue with Hanatarou's decision, but she still wasn't happy. They hid in a small dead-end corridor that had no other structural purpose than to hide them. Hanatarou kept a lookout. With his fear and paranoia they stood the best chances of detecting any danger. Soifon gripped the hilt of Hisagomaru as if to strangle it. "What the f-ck of a sword is this sh-tty piece of tinfoil?" she sneered. "It couldn't cut mother-f-cking CHEESE!"

"It is a healing sword Soifon Taicho," answered Hana. Had he been listening to himself, he would have noticed his tone was less than courteous. "It is doing exactly what it's meant to do."

"If only I was a strong as Yorouichi-sama!" prattled on Soifon. Hanatarou clenched his fists. "Then I wouldn't need this useless zampukto! Yorouichi-sama would have ripped that stupid hollow's head from his fat shoulders!"

"I'm sure you are exaggerating…" argued Hanatarou, and they both realized it was the first time he dared contradict.

Soifon's eyes narrowed. She was thinking about skewering him to the wall for the hollows to enjoy a nice chicken on a stick. "Is the coast still clear?"

"Yes," answered Hana. "There are no hollows around that I can feel."

"You better be correct, worm." She got up with the sword still in her hand. "Yorouichi-sama could detect a hollow wi-"

"Give me back my sword…" interrupted Hanatarou. Soifon blinked, dumbstruck by his attitude. "Soifon, give it back."

"I'll give it IN your back!" she answered harshly. "And call me TAICHO!"

"We are trapped in the world of Hollows, you have the whole building on alert and you promised to kill me at the end!" he spoke tiredly. "I don't think I need to call you captain any longer."

Soifon would have throttled him in any other situation, but they were in hiding. She clenched her fists almost till they bled. "How dare you!"

"Give me back my sword." Repeated Yamada coldly. They stared off in silence.

Hanatarou glared up at her as he sat on the floor. It was the look of a person who was growing tired of bullying and was about to snap. Soifon was not familiar with this expression. Most expressions she saw were either of obedience, pain, fear, death and/or near death. She had no idea how close she was to getting slapped in the face.

"Not until I am done." Said Soifon grimly. "Then you can pry it from my dead hands!"

Hanatarou stood up and glared at her face to face. "You never came here to escape did you? You don't believe there is any hope for us do you?" he accused.

"There's hope to do some good out of this mess!" said Soifon.

"You don't want to find a way out, you just want to die fighting!"

"That's all we can do you idiot!" she yelled, ignoring the danger. "We can't get home, there is no food or water; we are as good as dead! And if I am going to die then I'll take out as many of the enemy as I can! THAT is our DUTY! Or had you forgotten during all your little 'games'" she mocked him.

"What good are we against them? And what good is it throwing your life away like that?" snapped Hanatarou. He was arguing quite ferociously now to equal Soifon's rising volume.

"Are you afraid to die you coward?"

"I'm afraid of dieing uselessly!"

"Well it's much too late for that!"

"You're acting like a child!"

"I am NOT!" Soifon turned his back on him and punched a small hole in the wall to vent her frustration. She let her nerves straighten out and began to think rationally "What would Yor-"

Hanatarou snapped. Not like a twig or a branch, but like a mile long suspension bridge. He grabbed her by the collar and throttled her in the air "SHUT THE F-CK UP ABOUT F-CKING YOROUICHI-F-CKING-SAMA! I am F-cking tired of listening and taking all your SH-T ! STOP BITCHING ABOUT AND GET A LIFE YOU CLOSET LESBIAN!"

The madness passed and was followed by an incredibly awkward silence. Hanatarou had covered his mouth and so did Soifon. They listened as a large group of Hollows ran past trying to locate the noise. Fortunately their shinigami robes helped to hide them in the shadows. The guards left and they were able to breathe again.

"I'm… sorry…" said Hanatarou at last.

"Never do that again." Said Soifon. She wasn't quite sure how to treat him at the moment.

Hanatarou took advantage of the awkwardness to press his request. "Please, will you give me back my sword?" he asked politely. "It's no use to you."

Soifon looked at him and to the sword. She sighed and gave Hana a look of disgust. "The sword is befitting of its master." She sneered. "Useless." She threw it short of Hana's grasp so the tip stabbed into the floor. It was then that Hana realized too late that Hisagomaru's gauge was at full till. He let out a silent scream before the floor was blasted to pieces by the red release.

…

"What was that noise? An explosion?" asked one arrancar to his team.

"It came back from where we heard those voices." Said another. They ran back the way they came and ran right into the waiting clutches of the beast…

"**Not so fast…"**

…

Soifon got up first, kicking off the slabs of wall and ceiling. She coughed out dust and looked around her. Hanatarou was still on his knees, looking through the debris for his sword. The captain listened for any hollows, but none seem to have been alerted. She looked back to Hanatarou and a scowl stretched across her face. She walked up behind him just as he retrieved Hisagomaru and punched him in the back as he got up. "Look at this mess you've got us into now-!"

Hanatarou decked Soifon in the jaw and sent her off her feet. Tears were running down the sides of face. He had never been this angry before. He hated it, but he could no longer contain his wrath.

Soifon leapt back on her feet and shuunpoed back to him to slash at his face with her nails, followed by a devastating kick to his stomach. She leapt back howling. He was holding Hisagomaru there. Soifon plucked out the scalpel sized sword from her foot with a grunt of pain. This left her open to Hanatarou's repel kido that had her bashed against the wall. She dropped Hisagomaru as five more blasts embedded her into the rock. Soifon pulled herself out just before Hanatarou came back with a massive punch that left a hole where her head would have been. They began a hand-to-hand melee.

Soifon was a master at hand to hand combat but now she was having trouble. It wasn't that his skill or speed was any match for her, but his frenzy and unpredictable lashings of his hands and feet made it impossible for Soifon to effectively block. Even when two teeth were knocked from his face, Hanatarou kept punching and slapping like his life depended on it; which was quite true. At some point in the match, Soifon even stabbed Hana through the chest with Hisagomaru, but that didn't stop him either.

Finally, determination and endurance beat agility and technique. Hana gave Soifon another slap-like punch and repelled her, chin first, back up the hole they fell through. With hardly any reiatsu to breathe, Hana collapsed with hisagomaru still sticking out of his torso. Minutes ticked to an hour. Soifon did not return...

…

Hanatarou lay still where he had fallen…

It was unlikely he did much damage to the captain, so it seemed she had abandoned him to be finished by the hollows. He didn't blame her. He was horrible. He was a terrible shinigami. He could not believe how horrible he had been, even if she was mean to him, even if she did threaten to kill him (being the poor sap that he was) he did not expect to turn into such a monster. He lay there and cried the entire time.

Half his pain was actually from Hisagomaru returning to full size while still in his chest, but he felt it was a befitting punishment for his crime.

Then he heard her scream.

…

Soifon wrapped some torn cloth around the cut to her arm as she continued to flee. Twelve swift figures shunpoed after her with their zampukto drawn and some even released. She cursed as five more leapt in front of her path. She struck out, but the numbers were against her, and she was unarmed. They flung her down and surrounded her. They were all shinigami.

Soifon looked up to them and tried again to communicate with them. "I am Soifon, captain of the 2nd division of the Gotei thirteen. Who are you people? What squad do you belong?" She shouted at them. There was no response. "Why don't you answer? Can you even hear me?" she fought with them with kicks and chops, but she was soon beaten down again, this time with her body restrained by five simultaneous binding techniques.

"You are our sister…" they all replied in a monotone voice. "Join with us." And closed in again…

"Leave her alone!" yelled out a voice. All the heads eerily turned to see Hanatarou racing up to the crowd of twenty or so standing around Soifon. "Who are you?" he demanded, holding out his sword.

Soifon struggled again, this time to shout directly to Yamada. "Run you fool!" she yelled frantically. "He's coming! Get out of here!"

Hana looked side to side down the long cooridoors, but no-one could he see. All he saw were giant slash marks like there had been some terrible battle, and a thick trail of some translucent goo. "Who is coming?" he asked confused. "And who are these people? They are shinigami aren't they? Are they trapped like us?"

"They're not like us! There's something wrong!" said Soifon. "Just get out of here before they capture you too!" But as for the moment, the attacking shinigami were only aware of Hanatarou, and didn't seem to hold much interest in him. They remained focused on keeping Soifon trapped on the floor. Soifon looked up and gave a shriek. "ABOVE YOU! MOVE!"

Hana felt the huge shadow drop over him and wasted no time in flash stepping out of the way. A huge slug like mass ht the ground with a wet squelch. The ground shook with it's force. The writhering body reared up, revealing the head and torso of the Beast, towering above the decimation. **"Ah yes… at last I have caught you my daughter…"**

Hanatarou gave out a gasp. "You're father's a SLUG?"

"HE WAS SPEAKING FIGURATIVELY!" shouted out Soifon angrily, despite the terrifying situation.

The Beast slithered forward at a slow pace, but at it's size, this was still quite fast for a normal person. **"And what is this?"** asked the Beast, liking the air with its long tongue. **"Another lesser soldier to add to my ranks?" **Hanatarou began to tremble with fear. **"Oh, do not be so anxious… I will deal with you soon enough my child."**

Hanatarou and Soifon's attention then drew to the blank faced shinigami. A small thread seemed to appear behind each of their heads, growing steadily thicker as the Beast approached; like snot stretched back and forth from the nose on a finger. They all seemed to be attached towards the Beast's mouth.

The Hollow's head was now directly over Soifon, but before Hanatarou could issue a challenge, Soifon yelled out in pain. Something had just shot at the back of her head. Hana had to look closely to see that a gooey cable had flown out from the Beast's tongue, a cable just like the ones on the other shinigami. Soifon cringed and shuddered, even with the binding kido placed on her. The other shinigami stood and watched silently… all accept Hanatarou.

"Soifon-taicho!" he called out in panic. He raced forward but two more shinigami flew out of sores on the Beast's body and held their swords to his neck, stopping him from getting any closer. He looked over to Soifon, who was now perfectly still on the floor. "What have you done to her?"

"**I have liberated her from the toils of freedom."** Cackled the Beast quite happily. **"She is now a part of my brood… and of my power! HAHAHA!" **The Beast gave out a roar and a wave of reiatsu blasted forth, almost blowing Hanatarou away. **"A CAPTAIN! A CAPTAIN! I HAVE TAKEN A CAPTAIN! I HAVE NEVER ABSORBED SO MUCH POWER! HOW EXHILERATING!" **The Beast cut the juice to his aura and continued to laugh, drunk with power.

"SOIFON!" called out Hanatarou. He had weaved from the grasp of the two shinigami, loosing his sword in the scuffle, to run towards her, pushing the others out of the way without any resistance. He tried to pull out the cord, but it was slippery and strong. He looked at one of the controlled shinigami's zampuktos and grabbed it to give it a hack, but the sword simply passed through the goo without leaving a mark. He threw the sword away in frustration and tried a scapel instead. As he struggled to free her, the Beast watched on with amusement.

"**Now… how well can you fight little one?" **he spoke softly, but Hana (amazingly) ignored the colossal monster.

"Soifon-taicho!" Hanatarou picked her unconscious form by her shoulder and gave a gentle shake. The controlled shinigami made a clearing directly behind him. "Are you alr-"

Soifon's eyes opened, and she kicked Hanatarou into the wall, through the gap the shinigami had opened in the circle.

The Beast gave a delighted hiss. **"Yes! So powerful and she doesn't even have a zampukto! I am one step closer to my glory! Toy with him my precious one. Show me your ability!"**

Soifon's fingers twitched and she flash stepped beside Hanatarou as he fell from the hole in the wall… and then kicked him back in, in a cloud of dust.

"**Such power…"** sighed the Beast again with admiration. "**The other is blatantly insignificant in comparison. I have no need of his burden."** The Beast smiled. **"Kill him…"**

Hanatarou lay in the back of the hole and watched Soifon's silhouette slowly walk closer to him. He felt a great deal of pain and nausea, heaped on by weariness, hunger, and his earlier fight with the captain. Soifon had raised her hand when Hana caught hold of her cloth belt…

"S-s-soifon…" He whispered weakly. He looked up to her with pleading and tearful eyes. "Please… You have to fight it! He is controlling y-" Then he shuddered… and his eyes opened wide…

Soifon sank her hand through his chest and out of his back. His hand released her belt and went limp by his side. A small red waterfall sprang out when she plucked her hand back out again. Hanatarou slumped to the floor of the hole. He spewed out blood and he did not move again…

The last thing he saw was Soifon leaving him in the dark, before he blacked out completely with the sound of her light footsteps…

…

To Be Continued…

…

**Hueco Mundo Cup Golden**

The nine Espada gazed at each other at the long table. Gin, Toesen and Aizen sat at the head for the meeting. Aizen had just played the tape of the Beast's attack, and there were mixed reactions.

"Kill it." Yawned Nnoitra.

"Copycat!" yelled out Aaroniero in outrage.

"How intriguing!" commented Syzayel with a push of his rimmed glasses.

"Yes, I think so to." Agreed Aizen. The Espada looked to him. "I will allow this creature free roam of my palace. You are to avoid it when able. Such a force could be helpful to us." The Espada grumbled at this and began to argue amongst themselves on the proper way to dispose of this creature accidentally.

Ulquiorra then noticed Yammy making a move to leave. "Where are you going?" he asked.

"Oh, not to fight that slug if that is what you think." He said dismissively "That would be too bothersome."

"You did not answer my question…" said the 4th Espada. Yammy frowned.

"Well if you need to know, I left a snack behind on my way here." And he smiled. "I came across the shinigami that was left for dead. I was going to roast him over a fire."

"What is so funny?" asked Ulquiorra. "You are not usually this elated when eating shinigami."

"Ah, but I thought it would be creative to roast him like a marshmallow on a stick," he licked his lips. "So I skewered him with his own sword…"

...

**Author's Notes:**

**EPIC CHAPTER! Well I hope that explains the long update. Quite a bit more grim than the others, but what else can you expect of Hueco Mundo? If you didn't read the 'Hueco Mundo Cup Golden' then I suggest you do, it pretty much explains how I will get Hana out of his immediate dilemma in the next chapter. Oh, and do not ignore little Neliel either.**

**Izumey: Yeah, thx for that helpful review. Sometimes I wonder if I capture the emotions as well as I did in previous stories. Thanks for the insight.**

**Houkaru Kisaragi: I know it seems like a harem but believe me, it was purely unintentional that Hana would receive so much female attention. Isane was the original idea with Kuukaku as the rival; and that was the plan and I hope somehow to get back to. However, Hana's relationship with Soifon will be quite different, but essential to the story.**

**Werewolf of Fire: Don't worry, thanks for the review anyway. It is the way I know actual people are reading my story.**

**And thanks to everyone else as well! Please ask any questions you feel need answering/teasing. **

**Happy Reading!**


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